Biological dad topic is hurting our relationship!


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This topic contains 0 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Trish 10 months, 1 week ago.

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    Trish

    My boyfriend of 12 months doesn’t know who his biological father is. For the most part he says it doesn’t bother him but he would like to know him. His mom avoids the subject when he brings it up that he just stopped asking her about it. He knows nothing about him not even his name or a photo or stories. He grew up with his single mom and never even had a father figure. (Stepdad) He asked his grandmother about him, and she only said to ask his mom. It’s like no one wants to talk about it!! Despite no father figure he turned out to be a gentleman, kind hearted and treats me and our female friends very well. But he does lack family dynamics.

    I’ve met his family and I was a bit taken aback when I noticed that they don’t look like him at all! He is more Indian looking where as his Mom and little brother (obviously not the same father) is more African. Their hair is not the same and features are completely different and he doesn’t look mix at all. His friends tease him all the time that he was adopted.

    Now I wouldn’t be finding this much of concern but we talked about having a family when we are ready and I was thinking that it is important to know where we come from for medical reasons for the sake of birthing new generation. I haven’t applied any pressure for him to try and seek his bio dad but it is something that’s been on my mind lately.

    I know in America there are lots of ways to find your ancestors through some DNA agencies but it is not the case here in my country. Since I have open this subject up with him, he came to me on Monday and told me he doesn’t know who he is and his mother may not even be his mother..and even cried. He is now cold and won’t enjoy our time together like before and even stated that he may not want a child now cause he thinks he wont be a good one. :(

    What can I do to help him?

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