This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Jackie 2 months, 1 week ago.
February 12, 2019 at 6:35 am #739607
Me and my ex had the most amazing relationship of 3 years. We both ended up in a rut and was bickering constantly.
He decided it would be best to take a break.
However…. in the break I did not leave him alone once i was crying to him, begging him and pleading. When all he wanted was space.
I was so vulnerable, hence, the rut I was in. I had put weight on and lost interest in daily activities, I would never miss.
This was under 2 months ago… truthfully I’d say I’d only left him alone within the past 2 weeks. Embarrassing I know.
I work in his aunties bakery and he has never rushed for me to leave yet. But he has said he wanted to split up as all he wanted was space and I kept bombarding him.
He is constantly depressed. His mum told me he said to her that he has done me a favour, I can do better.
But he is holding onto the my belongings that he keeps stalling on. I asked for them back 2 days ago and he was like I’ll bring it to the bakery tomorrow. But did not.
He only handed a few of my belongings over.
I have took a week off and deactivated Facebook because I need to get stronger.
In the break, he kisses me, calls me babe. Cuddles me. Checks up on me and when I don’t reply he gets upset his family told me.
It’s pretty messy and I don’t know how to come back from it..
I’ve handed my notice in the bakery and he was pretty angry at me. He went home and changed his relationship status to single and then quickly made it private. His mum said he didn’t come out of his room for two days
He’s 25.. I’ve tried talking to him but all he does it get upset and cry.
It’s like in his head he wants to split up but his heart still loves me very much. Because when he pops in the bakery (everyday)!!! When he doesn’t need to, he keeps smiling at me.
My end date in the shop is the end of the month. I love him so much but even his mum said I’m in limbo.
He found out his sister was contacting me and he messaged me saying he was angry and if I’m that bad don’t bother him, I won’t hear from him again .. because every one is having a go at him for giving me false hope.
Yet he reached out to me again. I know this sounds terrible but I think he may be depressed.
And he thinks pushing me away is the answer . But when we do get alone time,
He hunts me so tightly and kisses my forehead. I know he needs be but he’s not letting me
Is there any advice for me? All his family tell me to stay in bakery as he isn’t moving on, he’s doing. A house up to do on rent , they said until he’s finished with that he’s pushing u to the back of his head
I have made all common mistakes but im currently just starting no contact..
HFebruary 12, 2019 at 7:40 am #739609
you posted this beforeFebruary 12, 2019 at 12:02 pm #739628
If he loved you he would not break up with you and he had plenty of time to talk to you if he had made a mistake. He doesn’t love you. Break means no hugging, no kissing, no communication at all. You need to take a real break for at least 2 months. I wouldn’t want this guy back anyways. He seems like a mess. He doesnt know what he wants but trust me, he knows that he does not want you.February 12, 2019 at 3:32 pm #739641
Better off Single
Just give him the space he wants! All he asked for was a break and you didn’t give it to him. So he broke up with you to have it. Even then he is still not getting it. Lif might be a little overwhelming for him right now and doesn’t have the capability to give you the attention you want/deserve because he’s trying to deal with some things.
relax and let go there isn’t anything you can keep doing that will change his mind except give him what he wants.February 12, 2019 at 4:13 pm #739645
You’ve already posted about this. If you’re hoping to hear something about how to make this work, you’re not going to. This guy is a mess and you need to get another job and get on with your life and give him space to sort himself out. He probably needs treatment for depression. If you get involved with being his therapist, you will regret it. You’re too young for this much drama. Agree that you need at least 2-3 months absolutely no contact. Take care of yourself. There’s nothing you can do for him right now and it’s too confusing to both of you to stay in touch. You’re both codependent on each other right now.February 12, 2019 at 5:39 pm #739651
Shelley has given you great advice. I don’t remember your other post but reading this one . . . phew what a mess!
He’s asked for space so give it to him. That means absolutely no contact at all. You’re stuck as he comes in everyday, but NO other contact until you leave at the end of the month.
And when he comes in NO hugging or kissing your forehead. That’s messing with your head and heart and totally not fair to you! Again I say that as he asked for this space so he gets it.
He needs to really feel it.
With no contact for two months you’ll be able to clear your head and so will he.February 12, 2019 at 5:40 pm #739652
Sometimes things need to completely fall apart to be built back stronger.
Sometimes things need to completely fall apart because they’re not meant to be.
Only time will tell. Hang in there for yourself and NC!