This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by A 4 weeks ago.
August 21, 2019 at 8:58 pm #760874
Reading the stories and opinions here makes you doubt more and feel more negative about everythingAugust 21, 2019 at 9:11 pm #760884
Better off single
I’ve been on this forum for about 4 years now and yeah like there is no hope for love anywhere. Just cheaters, players, haters, the bitter, crazy, broken, social rejects, and emotionally unavailable.
Look at it as if these are the things to not do or the kind of people/situations to avoid you will feel less doubt and gain a little wisdom.
In most cases you flip a negative into a positive and be thankful you are not in that kind of relationship.August 22, 2019 at 9:25 am #760926
Tabi, I understand but romantic relationships really aren’t any different than the relationships you’ve had with your parents and siblings growing up because of the amount of time you spend together. As with anyone you spend a lot of time with, day in, and day out, you’re going to eventually get on each other’s nerves, argue, disagree, get frustrated, etc.
Real relationships are not “Hollywood Movies” with perfect endings. They represent two people who are going to have issues, problems, or face crises, no differently than you do in your day-to-day life when dealing with people whether at work, hiring someone to fix or repair something, trying to get someone to do something, needing extra help…you get the gist. People do change, not overnight, but gradually, and many couples end up going in different directions, like one does with a relative, friend, boss, or neighbor when you stop getting along.
Like they say, “people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” A bulk of the people you meet will only last for a reason (car repair), others will last a season (friend, work, neighbor), and very few will last a lifetime (close relative, child). Its called “life”, and all you can really do is create as many positive memories you can with people you meet, get to know, or have a romantic relationship with until you take your last and final breathe.August 22, 2019 at 12:07 pm #760943
I feel you. I get similar thoughts momentarily. You have to realize this is a forum based on relationship advice. So issues are all you’re going to find here. Doesn’t prove that’s all there is out there, though.
There’s still a lot of positivity if you know where to look. For instance, every now and then you see comments that are compassionate, level-headed, and uplifting. It’s heartwarming to read even though they’re not directed at you but the OP. And sometimes even when someone’s describing their problem/story/opinion, their personality seeps through their writing and you can tell that they’re sincere or good-natured. Overall, this place is people trying to help others voluntarily. No one’s getting paid, but they’re doing it out of the goodness of their heart. I think that’s an encouraging thought. On the other hand, as I read someone say on another post, just skip reading comments by users that are consistently negative.
Helping others is a wonderful thing, but look out for yourself too! Don’t get so invested here that you forget to take a break from when it gets too much. Maybe watch an animal rescue video on youtube so you don’t lose hope in humanity :P “Guy biking across world picks up a stray kitty” is a good one. Take care :-)August 22, 2019 at 12:45 pm #760944
You guys get this is a dating advice forum, right? No one is looking for advice in a happy, healthy relationship. So the people posting here are the ones in unhealthy relationship. Of course there’s going to be negatively.August 22, 2019 at 10:14 pm #761020
Not true A. There are many of us in happy and healthy relationships, such as myself, Raven, Khajida, Kate, Warenston, Liz, just to name a few (not intentionally omitting others who are), who truly want the OP’s to find the same. Many of us came here seeking help, such as myself when it came to navigating this whole new “online dating” thing as I was in a long-term marriage for over two decades (a decade prior to technology arriving on the scene), and felt like I had dropped on an entirely different planet!
The advice I read here was very helpful, and I then started gradually helping others navigate many of the dating minefields, that my father thankfully mentored me through as a teenager, so I didn’t have the dating struggles like I see so many have today. I passed my father’s “dating playbook” onto them, or helped them through the same struggles they were encountering in their marriage/relationship that I had in mine, so it can be a good place to seek help in areas that one is struggling in.
Of course there are going to be negative responses when dealing with a public online forum but you just have to look for the positive one’s that are helpful to you, or have helped others, and try to follow those.August 23, 2019 at 10:53 am #761065
Lane – I meant original posters, not advice responses. If you’re happy with your relationship, there is no need to post. So the people posting on here sense something isn’t right in their relationship. Of course there’s going to be negativity.