Am I Wrong?

I also want to add that after his vacation I hadn’t seen him for a month in person but we would FT, and he’d always have a reason to end the convo early. While we were working on fixing our relationship he would cut dates short because “he had to go poop” (we were once at a fair and he didn’t want to use the bathroom there), or he “had to do his hair so he had to get off the phone.” Or “he wanted time to cook a home meal and go to the gym.”

When I would give him space he would get upset and triple or quadruple text me and even called me to just hear my voice or whatever. IDK I just wonder if I was emotionally abusive or I didn’t try hard enough to actually make this work? Was me always asking what this relationship was doing too much? It just feels like he left me in so much gray all the time…

@Angiebaby

Yes! He likes her posts on insta (all of the ones without her bf in them) and follows / supports her book club on there as well. I brought it up and was like this makes me very uncomfortable especially considering how traumatic you say that relationship was to you. They were together for 5(?) or so years so I tried to understand that that’s a long time so I guess it makes sense, cutting people out is hard especially if you have the same circle of friends. Still…she even invited him to her grandfathers funeral because he was close with her fam when they were together.

He once said to me, “you say that you want a relationship and so I’m scared that you’re only here because you want to be in a relationship.”

And I chuckled and said, “no, I can be alone, but I chose you and I want to be here.”

Typing all of this out and I realize how I sound… I feel so foolish falling for someone like this. I lost my v to this guy..UGH

@Maddie, yeah I’ve blocked him on everything as soon as I hung up the phone. I cried so hard that night that I had to have someone tuck me into bed. It was bad, but I knew I had to end it because I’ve been so anxious for months about our relationship. It’s been a little less than a week and finding out he’s had a hinge (probably this whole time) really feels like a slap in the face to me. I’m trying to get over it and move past it, but I keep having horrible dreams about him and our last convo. I can’t help but wonder if he had been juggling multiple women while with me and or his whole “crying while we were breaking up” thing was an act and he never really cared about me at all.

@Kathy, yeah I think I knew throughout that throughout the entirety of our relationship. I was so blindsided by infatuation that I let a lot slide. I tried to “fix” him and swept so much flighty and inconsistent behavior under the rug because I loved him. Finding out that he’s back on hinge three days after our breakup just goes to show that I put all of the work into this and he put in zero.

@Claws, you’re right! It’s been a week and it’s def gotten easier to deal with. I have been talking it out and realizing just how unhealthy this relationship was. I’m happy to be free of it, but it’s gonna take some time for me to heal I think. Thank you!

breaking up with him was the best thing you could do. anyways he wasnt even around half the times and alwys had some problem or the other. my only question is why would you put up with someone like this for so long? next time choose wisely and dont be afraid to walk away. you are not supposed to fix others. but your definitely in charge your own happiness.

@Tammy, it was foolish and silly of me, I know. I gave up too much that I can’t get back now. Time, energy, love, etc. I’ll have to be more careful the next time I’m ready to get out there.