AM I overthinking?

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This topic contains 27 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Shannon 1 year, 4 months ago.

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  • #621197 Reply


    My take is: who cares when she texts him? It’s when he texts back.

    In my opinion it’s rude to text someone when you’re in the company of someone else, so he should wait until later to text her back.

    I often text friends in the morning as that’s when my thoughts are the most clear or when I have the most time. It doesn’t mean I expect anyone to respond, just my preference to say it then.

    It’s his choice whether he replies to her in 24 hours + or immediately.

    Guys who couldn’t care less about what their gf insecurities are… prioritize my wanting to briefly chat over anything else. If I want to talk, they talk back. Gf be damned, I’m priority. Gf are viewed as an annoyance.

    Or…if they’d rather spend quality time with their gf without interruption, they can text me back anywhere from 24 hours to 72 hours later. It’s none of my business when they answer. It’s up to the individual who they want to conversate with.

    Some guy friends I have, if their gf objected to them texting me, they would say she was crazy/clingy/needy/jealous because it’s his prerogative what he does with his phone.

    He can easily chose to not reply to her until a later time.

    #622483 Reply


    Amanda and Ashley – thanks, I agree with you. He can choose when to reply and he’s almost always on his phone so he always reply her immediately. He sees my insecurity as my own problem and I am still contemplating on this one.

    #622505 Reply


    I remember reading a case study in a self help book that reminds me of your situation.

    Same thing…boyfriend and female coworker were extremely close. Live in girlfriend did not like it. She finally sought counseling on her own to deal with it. The counselor told her it did not matter whether it was okay for him to have a close female friend, or whether other women would be okay with it, what mattered was SHE was not okay with it. It was a deal breaker to HER.

    So the girlfriend went back and told the boyfriend that he had to end his friendship with the coworker OR their relationship would end.

    He chose to end their relationship and immediately started dating the coworker and moved in with her.

    The counselor (the writer of the book) said rather than being devastated the now ex girlfriend was at peace with what happened. She felt that her instincts were spot on that this was more than a friendship and instead of remaining in a miserable situation she chose to make a stand and do what was best for her. And even though it didn’t have the outcome she desired, she thinks she did the right thing and now can move on.

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