Am I losing him?


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This topic contains 11 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  tammy 1 month ago.

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  • #743251 Reply

    Jane

    I met this guy almost two months ago and fell pretty hard (#pisces). we’ve been pretty much inseparable since our first date and have talked almost everyday. Last week, we had a bit of a misunderstanding, but we ended up coming together and apologizing to one another. I’ve been a little insecure since then because I told him I really liked him during our fight, but he replied with aggression and I find myself sitting here wondering how he actually feels or whether he wants anything more. I saw him a few days ago for dinner, we had an amazing time. I was hoping/assuming I would see him yesterday because we’ve spent every Sunday evening together for the past month or so. He facetimed me yesterday and made a comment basically hinting that he didn’t want me to stay over. We got off the phone and didn’t talk all day. I ended the night celebrating St Patricks Day with friends, got pretty drunk and texted him some borderline desperate texts. I’m honestly so embarassed and upset by it. I haven’t heard from him today and I can’t help but think I messed everything up. He leaves tomorrow for a work trip and wont be back for two weeks. Guess I’m a little hurt I haven’t been his priority the past week. I tend to over think and look way too far into things, but I also make excuses for guys a lot and end up hurt because I couldn’t read between the lines. Looking for some insight and maybe a nice peptalk.

    #743254 Reply

    Bets

    Leave him alone, give him a chance to miss u. It’s really simple: if he reaches out, great; if he doesn’t, then u need to let it go. Do not call or text him, u just said u felt bad about the drunken texts. Just leave him alone.

    #743255 Reply

    Bets

    Also around two or three months is typically when a relationship either moves forward or it dies, depending on how the man wants to proceed. Let him think about it without any contact from u. The more u try to hang on, the more he’s going to want to run away.

    #743260 Reply

    Crisula

    ***Last week, we had a bit of a misunderstanding, but we ended up coming together and apologizing to one another. I’ve been a little insecure since then because I told him I really liked him during our fight, but he replied with aggression**

    Briefly, what happened? Because that is where things started going downhill fast. You said his response to your feelings towards him were aggressive…how so?

    The only time I tell people to call and apologize for drunk texting/calling, is when there were nasty things said

    In your case, it is best to just not call, period.

    Give him some space, and he may miss the good times you shared and and contact you

    #743265 Reply

    Jane

    Long story short, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed and snapped at me to leave him alone and that he needed space. I told him that I really liked him and wasn’t sure what all this was. He snapped again at me ‘are we really doing this now? I’m late for work.’ and left.

    I didn’t talk to him, I was honestly frustrated that he snapped at me. He texted me clarifying he needed space that morning to get ready for work not necessarily in general. He tried calling after work, I didn’t answer because I still wasn’t ready to brush it under the rug.

    The next morning I told him I understand if he needs time to himself in the morning but all he had to do was tell me and how I didn’t agree with the way he handled it. He apologized for it, said he was cranky and took it out on me.

    #743267 Reply

    anon

    I would say it is going downhill. If you say to someone “I like you” and they respond aggressively, that’s not a good sign. And if a guy is into you, the don’t ignore drunk flirty texts, they get a chuckle and maybe send a message the next day.

    I don’t think that you messed things up, you probably hastened the end of a sinking ship.

    2 months in is a little soon for a fight/misunderstanding that ends up getting heated.

    A guy that is into you will make excuses for a few drunk texts. Or, better yet, if they are into you, you don’t take the journey to insecure town that leads you to drunk texts. A guy who is into you says “Sorry, can’t make it this Sunday, but look forward to seeing you soon, how about Tuesday?”

    So yeah you lost your cool. But he probably wasn’t feeling it.

    #743270 Reply

    Emma

    Your guy seems to be have a bad temper and a snappy attitude. He is showing you his character, pay attention as this is about the time men relax and start being themselves.

    #743271 Reply

    Jane

    that’s a good point…I hadn’t really thought of that.

    #743272 Reply

    Andrea

    The excitement of things being brand new is wearing off for him and now his disinterest in taking things further is starting to show. Certain little habits that were cute in the beginning become annoying. He’ll probably use this business trip as an excuse to add even more distance. Sorry, but I think he’s gotten his fill and is on the way out.

    #743309 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    Oh, oh. Waking up grouchy is a very bad sign. He’s sick of you being around, I’m sorry to say.

    Best thing to do is not push him. Get busy with your life. Don’t revolve your life around him.

    No amount of begging will change his mind.

    #743311 Reply

    Lane

    He and you are revealing more of your true selves. Anyone can be on ‘good behavior’ for a short bit but eventually the fissures, traits/characteristics that are lying beneath the surface, begin to emerge.

    He’s aggressive (biting) and you’re needy (crave attention) which is not a good mixture. This is why you need to pace things better because if its too much, too early, it begins to feel suffocating and the other naturally pulls back. Even if a guy wants to spend a lot of time with you, you shouldn’t, for this very reason. Really should pace it better, no more than THREE days a week in the first couple months and only incorporate a little more here and there until you’re relationship is solid.

    Think of a budding relationship like a candle. It needs a certain amount of oxygen to keep it burning bright but too little or too much can snuff it out. At this point you need to pull back and see if he naturally steps in again. Even he does you need to slow the pace and not take the ‘inseparable’ path and find other things to occupy your time other than a man—he should be the cherry on top of your fabulous sundae (life) not the sole source or center of it.

    #743326 Reply

    tammy

    jane if someone seems annoyed on seeing me next to him when he wakes up I would be very hurt and on my guard. maybe he was just having a bad day and that it had nothing to do with you?

    you say he is going away for 2 weeks. in the circumstance I think that that’s a gud thing. normally if a guy is interested in you he will laugh off the drunken tests and tease you unless you were nasty in the texts or too intense. anyways the texts are gone and you cant take them back. so let that go.

    if I was in your place I would go silent. Especially after his rude behaviour and no response to you drunk msgs even the next day. if you stay silent he may either message you before leaving. or if he doesn’t, then pls don’t panic. he may be taking these two weeks away from you to figure out things. I think its very important that you don’t try to connect with him during this break. even if he doesn’t message at all, be patient. let him miss you. let him figure how things are for him without you around. let him revert when hes back from his 2 week break. its a wait and watch thing for you. do not under any circumstance message first. let him get back to you. he will I think. maybe now or maybe after his return. but he will.

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