This topic contains 22 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Sweetie187 6 months, 1 week ago.
January 9, 2018 at 3:39 pm #677806
Me and my ex decided to make a break a month ago. After one week of the break, I saw him on Tinder trying to date on line.. It broke my heart. 3 weeks later, he is still on Tinder and I sent him a message to wish him a happy New year. He never replied… I believed he moved on but it really hurt.. I needed your advice. Thank you very much for your replies.
January 9, 2018 at 4:43 pm #677811
Hi Cindy-no advice ,as there is nothing to do here. He is gone,you are sad-time will help. Maybe quit haunting his on-line stuff.January 9, 2018 at 5:21 pm #677818
Really, we didnt even make a breakup, we said it was just a break..January 9, 2018 at 5:25 pm #677820
Taking a break is a ‘nice’ way of breaking up…
Would you really really want him back after this ‘break’ where he’s on a hook up site, trying to get with other girls …?January 9, 2018 at 5:36 pm #677826
I’m sorry Cindy, he has definitely moved on. It sounds like this was more than a “break” but you didn’t get the closure you may have needed.
Once you understand it’s over you can start healing. You know it’s over, right?January 9, 2018 at 6:06 pm #677833
Yes it’s over, and he moved on completely, maybe he just didnt like me in the first placeJanuary 9, 2018 at 6:20 pm #677834
How long were you together?January 9, 2018 at 6:48 pm #677842
5 monthsJanuary 9, 2018 at 7:40 pm #677851
Cindy, 5 months is not a long time. He did not break up with you “officially”, to keep you available just in case. This is a very low brow move, open your eyes and see it for what it is.
Men don’t take breaks from relationships after 5 months. Neither do women. Things are still very fresh at this point.
If he hasn’t even responded to your wishes then you need to take it for what it is. Too bad this dude ended up being a douche, but good that you are rid off him now, having wasted only 5 months on him.January 9, 2018 at 8:01 pm #677866
You’re right Emma Thank youJanuary 9, 2018 at 11:22 pm #677888
“taking a break” is usually a polite way to end a relationship at least for men. One thing that men do very badly is communication. What is so hard about saying:’look I don’t think this relationship is going anywhere. Why don’t we just go our separate ways?” Or “I am sorry but I am just not feeling it”. Men bring a whole lot of trouble upon themselves by not being honest and forthright with women.January 10, 2018 at 2:36 am #677911
The way I see it, he’s just not that into you. Maybe he just wants sex with you. I’m sorry to say that. So move on, stop dwelling on anything about him.
And in your next romance, pls don’t fall for a guy easily, don’t dedicate yourself to a man quickly, men won’t cherish you.January 10, 2018 at 10:38 am #677981
Jay thanks so much, it makes senseJanuary 10, 2018 at 9:31 pm #678175
I broke up with a guy and he told me that I have a week to come back and that he loves me. I wasn’t going to and after exactly a week I saw him back on OkCupid. It made it so easier for me to go through the break up as it means his “love” means nothing and didn’t worth my emotions. True love is different I think, or I see it differently. Now he dates my ex friend that he found on that website lol.January 11, 2018 at 1:55 pm #678331
Feeling for you, stay strong lady. I don’t know the recipy to go thru pain but a new guy might be helping. What is you also go on Tinder and attend a few dates? Could be nothing serious with those guys, just to feel yourself wanted and attractive woman again. Everything is going to be alright with you 100%. Hugs <3January 11, 2018 at 2:35 pm #678335
How did you find out he was on Tinder?
Sometimes people go online after a break up because they want an ego boost. it doesn’t always mean what you think. I am not saying this time that this is the case as I have no idea, I am just saying that some people are straight back on to date as they are over the finished relationship, others are on there as distraction and ego and to feel better about themselves. Could be either in his case.
What were your reasons for being on there? or where you checking to see if he was on there….
about the lack of response to you saying happy new year. again you don’t know his thinking and reasoning. If you time together was good, then it could just be he doesn;t want to give you the wrong impression and thinks it best not to respond. None of this takes away from the time you had together, Don;t let it deminish that for you.
He is moving on with his life though. you need to too.January 11, 2018 at 2:49 pm #678336
When you decide to go on a break you are supposed to set ground rules. For example how long is the break? Will you have any contact during the break? Will you be dating or seeing others? And generally you agree on a time in the future when you two will discuss your problems and the future of your relationship. It doesn’t sound like any of that happened. And I agree with the others than 5 months is nothing and if you need a break after that short period of time you obviously aren’t compatible. Also the fact he is ignoring you after a month is hurtful. I suggest you consider this over and move on.January 11, 2018 at 2:55 pm #678339
I’m starting dating again now and feel much better.
I think as Ana said his love for me meant nothing otherwise he would never be on Tinder again..
Honeypie I was on Tinder just to check if he was there, but I’m not doing it anymore.
I’m moving on slowly but surely!
Thank you all for your messages it really did help me to have a support.January 11, 2018 at 2:57 pm #678341
I agree, throw this guy to the side. For me, when a guy suggests a “break” — i say it’s either continue to fight for it, or just let each other go completely. you’re either in or out.
a few months ago, a guy i was seeing for about 3 or so months had this same type of discussion. he wanted a break to see if things would change (according to him)– at first, it seemed like a very appealing plea. but with some afterthought, i thought ..what if after the break, you decide to go your own way, and i decided to just keep waiting to see if the situation or your feelings changed? that was way too risky. i accepted that a break = OVER. and the mental part of processing that it’s over helps you to move on that much faster, than having some “safety net” of something called a “break.” there’s no point – don’t ever agree to that. accept that it’s over and take osme time for yourself.
posters are right. 5 months is not a lot of time, but also take this as a lesson learned – there must’ve been some red flags along the way. were there any talks of exclusivity? did he want something monogamous? let this douche go because he’s back on Tinder and that tells me that he’s interested in his next adventure. you deserve better. take your time in dating to suss out those guys who are there for you, compatible with you, and willing to give you what you’re looking for. don’t settle – be with the person is the RIGHT fit FOR YOU.January 11, 2018 at 3:40 pm #678363
I’m the one who suggested the break because of too many red flags. He was radio silent on weekends, never called me when I asked, and never did things as he promised.. I suggested the break and he’s back on Tinder.. I’m glad I havent waist too much time with him. I was hurt because I thought we had a connection. Dating nowadays is horribleJanuary 11, 2018 at 3:45 pm #678364
Well if these red flags were there then good riddance to this guy.
He doesn’t sound like he was invested in this relationship at all.
I see no loss here, now you’re free to find someone who wants to be a boyfriend to you and a good one no less.January 12, 2018 at 4:53 pm #678544
Khadija you’re right he was not invested at all. Now he is on Tinder 24/7, maybe he was on this app while I was with him. It’s funny though he was the type of guy REALLY busy with work and now he is really busy with Tinder.
Finally, I’m happy about it because it shows me that I was not the problem ..
So easy to move on now!January 12, 2018 at 7:18 pm #678555
Tinder is notorious for seeking hook ups (aka searching for sexual encounters). It’s not the kind of site that you join if the intention is to look for a committed relationship.
No wonder he was very non committal towards you.