This topic contains 16 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Ok 4 weeks, 1 day ago.
June 18, 2019 at 8:02 am #754071
Apparently some men are sending women a bill after a date that didn’t turn into anything. In a way I think that this is a good thing. After all a man’s time and money are valuable and few men have a lot of disposable income to lavish on dates that go nowhere. If sending women a bill after a failed date becomes a thing then we’ll see hopefully a sharp decline in the numbers of women who have the following attitude:’ maybe after you’ve wined and dined me and spent $500 and entertained me for 20+ hours I might let you give me a brotherly kiss’.
Men need to get far more proactive and honest when dating. Too many men just go with the flow and follow the women’s lead. They agree to things they have no opinion on or desire for all to keep the woman onside. If a woman says she wants a relationship,he’ll say ‘Oh me to. I am looking for something serious’. If a woman says she wants children,he’ll reply:’wow so do I”.* Men need to get over their fear of upsetting or offending women. They should make a point of always being honest even to the point of rudeness. They should remember Marcus Aurelius’ maxim at all times:’if it is not right don’t do it,and if it is not true don’t say it.’ The holes men dig for themselves out of fear of a women causing a scene!
*The terrible truth is that most men have no idea whether they want children or not,they just sort of fall into fatherhood. My brother-in-law however is a notable exception to this rule. He was naming his future children at 14! He got married at 21 and my sister was just 19. He was the one always pushing for marriage. My sister was the one who wanted to wait. They have been married for 20 years so things worked out just find for them.June 18, 2019 at 8:19 am #754072
This is definitely true, Stephen. Many a time, I’ve seen men agree with the woman just to agree, not because they truly feel that way. As a woman, it’s extremely frustrating to not be able to trust a man’s word. We’re are just looking for clarity and aren’t mind-readers so we rely on what others tell us.
My friend’s husband told her he would have kids when they were dating because he was head over heels in love with her. But the fact of the matter is he doesn’t. And that’s a real problem with them. Why can’t men just have to balls to say what they truly feel! It would save so much time and energy. I would LOVE some brutal honesty!June 18, 2019 at 8:31 am #754073
I am sure that many women here have experienced the following:
Woman:’I had such a great time with Bob! He is looking for something serious and he also wants children. He also shares my political and social values ‘.
Girlfriend:’Oh wow Marcy could he be ‘the One’?!’
Woman:’Yes I think that he might very well be the one!!’
Girlfriend:’ Oh I am so happy for you! So, has he asked to see you again?’
Woman:’Well be said he’d call tonight as he has a lot going on a work’.
A week later
Girlfriend:’So Marcy how did you second date with Bob go?’
Woman(fighting back tears):’He never called me and he’s blocked my number!! What did I do wrong?!’
Woman:’Well you dodged a bullet Marcy. He is clearly a shady dude.’
Marcy didn’t really do anything wrong per se. Bob was simply not being honest with her.Perhaps he was really only after sex,or had no desire for children,or privately he disagreed with her political opinions. Honesty is always the best policy.June 18, 2019 at 8:31 am #754074
Stephen, you’re so pathetic.
This isn’t “new” and it’s not going to become a “thing”. There are some clueless people on this site but you’re in a category of your own. You know next to nothing about men and women and dating and like BOS you’d be better off getting off this site and dealing with your personal issues.
You really need to get a more useful hobby than posting nonsense here.June 18, 2019 at 8:35 am #754075
Haha stephen, i dont know why so many women here have issues with your posts because a lot of them make me laugh, including this one. You have a funny way of pointing out that the there are a lot of diva ladies expecting a man to wine and dine them. But a lot of men will do the dating dance hoping to get the sex sooner than laterJune 18, 2019 at 8:40 am #754076
When i first started ti read this site i was highly surprised about the guy has to pay attitude. That sort of makes dating a part of a buyers and Sellers market. So i figured Yeah that makes sense for the usa where everything is based on capitalist priciples. We date in europe obviously but it was never so extreme. It soon turned to home dates where one would cook while getting to know each otherJune 18, 2019 at 9:08 am #754079
In the article that generated this post all the women interviewed by the reporter stated that they would much prefer to split the bill rather than feel obliged to put out. However as even occasional readers of this forum know women despise a cheap guy and would never go on another date with them. Only a very naive man believes that when a woman on a date is fishing about in her purse supposedly looking for her card she has the slightest intention of paying half. Women pretend to offer to pay half and men pretend to believe them. So women in their own way are almost as dishonest as men.June 18, 2019 at 9:19 am #754080
You’re looking to blame women but really this is an issue about societal norms…June 18, 2019 at 9:43 am #754084
I am not blaming women. I am saying that both sexes have a very bad habit of talking out of both sides of the mouth.June 18, 2019 at 9:48 am #754085
Stephen, I agree and disagree.
I read up on the term ‘dating’ and that IMO is what has killed what used to be called “Courtships.” The term came about in an article when a man was married but another man was taking his wife on his “dates” (outings that should have been with him).
I actually enjoyed the ‘courtship’ process back in my day as there were rarely any “dates” (‘wining or dining’) involved in that process. It was based on two people meeting each other at a party, through a friend, at school/work, local hang out/club and wanting to get to know each other better. This took place by by sitting on the curb in front of your house, going to the beach/mountains, local park, or other ‘non costly’ venues where you enjoyed an activity and learning about each other either cost free or low cost because that wasn’t ‘the reason’ for going out, it was for the sole purpose of determining if the level of interest was enough to decide if you wanted to become a couple (only see and spend time with each other), or not. It didn’t need to cost anything, in fact, those were often the best ‘dates’ because the investment wasn’t in how much a man spent but the amount of time they wanted to spend it with you, and only you.
Its become a big huge complicated mess today. Sorry, but there are a lot of ‘time waster’s’ out there…men who are dating willy-nilly with no intention or purpose but scoring some easy NSA sex. If they want to spend gobs of money for easy sex, then that’s on them and should try being upfront and HONEST with the ladies…just sayin.
Men who fall in love with a lady will proclaim it and do everything to make sure the lady feels safe and secure with him. All this takes is some time with little money involved if the man is smart (there are many places to take a lady without spending loads of $). All the lady has to do is sit back, do nothing but be her authentic self, and allow the man to vie for her attention—its how human’s have been mating since the dawn of time. A smart lady needs to be observant, not quick to fall for flowery words (especially texts), carefully listens by asking soft with harder questions peppered in (“what are your thoughts on marriage?”) but above-all watches to see how much TIME the man invests (not $) in getting to know her, as a person (not pushing for sex), as that’s the biggest ‘investment’ a man makes to those he truly cares for or loves…its not rocket science.
BTW, my beau was overspending where I’m the one who curbed it by offering we do something free or inexpensive like checking out a historic park/venue, going to a local event, or picking up some food at the store and cooking it together v. going out—that’s one of the things he loved about me when we were ‘dating’ and I still do it because we don’t need to break the bank to spend time together and have fun doing it :o)June 18, 2019 at 10:10 am #754090
Here is a likely scenario in answer to Land’s comment that dates don’t have to be expensive.
Mary:’Oh I was so looking forward to my date with Ted. He is so handsome,charismatic and he has a great job. However I can’t believe that I once liked him!!’
Girlfriend:’Why what happened?’
Mary:’What happened?!!! He took me to the park and bought me an ice cream that’s what happened! He spent all of $5.00 on me! God what a total cheap ass!!’
Girlfriend:’He only bought you an ice cream?! You are right he is such a cheap d**k!! What is up with guys today? Don’t they know how to treat a lady?!’June 18, 2019 at 10:25 am #754092
I wonder why its always Mary who says the nasty stuff. And Bob on the other hand is the guy who keeps getting dumped. Poor Bob, dont be like BobJune 18, 2019 at 11:21 am #754095
Sorry Stephen but not all ladies are like that, at least a lady who’s looking for a mate, not just a date…those are a dime a dozen haha.June 18, 2019 at 12:51 pm #754114
But of course as always Lane and Stephen have to use these threads to promote themselves. Never miss a chance Lane to brag about the beau now and not boyfriend? He used to spend too much and you complained? LolJune 18, 2019 at 12:59 pm #754117
Anyone else totally tired of OMG and her negativity? 🙋♀️June 18, 2019 at 1:05 pm #754121
Sometimes i agree when she is not in attack mode. But i know she stated on a threat somewhere she is posting because she is unhappy so lets give her some slackJune 18, 2019 at 9:14 pm #754188
If a man sent me a bill, he would have to send me to small claims or collections to get me to pay up on it. That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard and sounds more like a writer attempting to compose a provocative article. I’m a big fan of not believing everything I read or hear. Stephen you naively seem to believe everything you read and hear.