10 Things Confident People Do Differently in Dating and Relationships post image

Healthy self-esteem is a prerequisite for healthy relationships. From my personal experiences, and my years spent writing about relationships, I’ve learned that poor self-esteem is the number one cause of unhealthy relationships, as well as the top relationship killer.

Self-esteem isn’t an essential need like food or water, but it’s a supplement that can either dramatically improve your life, or keep you stunted and unfulfilled. The fact is, you can only let in as much love from the outside as you feel on the inside. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you will never truly believe that someone else can love you and you will constantly be on the lookout for the other shoe to drop, for the guy you care about to leave, thus validating the fact that you are unworthy of love.

Poor self-worth is what traps us in bad relationships, what sabotages new relationships, and what causes us to feel so devastated and broken when a relationship ends.

Self-esteem doesn’t come from blowing kisses to your reflection in the mirror or repeating “I love myself” over and over. It takes time and it takes work and it isn’t always easy. Everyone’s path will be different, but no matter what, having a picture of what high self-esteem looks like, and how it can play out in relationships, is helpful and can help reveal the areas you may need to work on.

Having high self-esteem doesn’t guarantee a happy relationship, but it does equip you with the skills to identify what you want and realize you deserve to get it, and the strength to walk away if something falls short. Here are ten things people with high self-esteem do differently in their relationships:

[Click here to keep reading…]

How I Learned to Love My Body post image

Nothing drives me more crazy than listening to women complain about their bodies.  Like seriously, I have a visceral reaction whenever I hear phrases like “My thighs are too fat.” “I’m only eating celery this week because I have a big date.” Not only do you sound ridiculous when you speak like this, but what exactly are you expecting from your friends when you speak like this?

I was always that pudgy wannabe athletic kid.  Although I played outside frequently and, in middle/high school played two seasons of sports,  I was always a little pudgy because I loved food.

Later on during my first job, with the help of sales reps who wanted me to buy stuff off of them, I developed a penchant for wine, fine dining, and drinking into the wee hours several times a week. Before I knew it my 5’6 frame was carrying close to 200 pounds.  In the years that followed, like many women, I developed a hatred for my body: punishing it with extreme diets, juice fasts, over training, over eating, and self-loathing whenever I looked at myself in the mirror.

Over the last ten years I’ve been down to my lowest of 145 pounds because of the Master Cleanse: living off of lemon water and giving myself reverse enemas with salt water twice daily, to tipping the scale at nearly 200 because of foie gras at lunch, beer during happy hour, and the comfort of General Tso after a hard day of drinking, when my activity level was that of a sloth.

And in each of those times of extreme thinness or fatness I always found something wrong with my body.

I no longer live like that.  In my 30+ years on the planet, I’ve found ways that make me love my body. Here they are:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Link Love post image

Link Love


9 “Healthy” Foods That Actually Aren’t (And What to Eat Instead) – Her Campus

11 Birthday Quotes From Old-Time Celebrities – Your Tango

Why Self-Compassion is Healthier Than Self-Esteem – Rewire Me

How to Wear All those Fashion Trends Men Hate – The Frisky

Heat It Up: This Is The Best Porn For Women – Your Tango

How to Be Happy: 11 Ways to Find True Happiness post image

Most people spend their lives waiting for happiness. They cling to the idea that as soon as they get that job, as soon as they lose those last few pounds, as soon as they’re in a great relationships, then the gates will open and happiness will come rushing on through. Most people are misinformed. Happiness isn’t something that just happens, it’s something you need to actively pursue. True happiness doesn’t come from wealth or beauty or status or anything external, it comes from within.

In order to find true happiness in life, you need to work on yourself and make a few adjustments to the way you live your life. These tweaks are actually pretty simple and if you do it right, you will attain the kind of genuine happiness most people spend their lives pursuing.

Here are 11 tips to find true happiness: [Click here to keep reading…]

The Most Important Relationship Advice You Will Ever Receive post image

Over the years I’ve been in my fair share of relationships. I’ve also been what felt like the third party in many of my friends’ relationships as I used my years of wisdom to help them through every step of their relationships. There is one key ingredient that will determine the success, or failure, of a relationship. When I look back at the times when I’ve struggled and felt tortured trying to figure out why guys act the way they do, and when I see my friends in similar predicaments, one major and fundamental issue is invariably at the heart of the matter.

Eric and I dish out a lot of relationship advice on this site. We help you understand why that guy who seemed so into you at first is suddenly acting shady or why the guy that acts like you’re boyfriend won’t just call you his girlfriend. While we’re happy to supply you with these explanations, we’d be remiss if we didn’t cover one fundamental truth about relationships: you will never find love with another until you find it within yourself.

I know, it’s one of those facts that makes you roll your eyes but in truth, it makes all the difference in the world. When you love yourself, you don’t care why he’s being shady and blowing you off or why he won’t just put a label on it because you know your worth and your value. You won’t even need to call up your loyal girlfriends and listen to them tell you that you can do so much better than him because it’s a freakin’ given! [Click here to keep reading…]

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