Wanting to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re ready for a relationship. It could mean you’re lonely or that you have some other issue in your life that you’re overlooking, and you believe a relationship will be your cure-all.
As women, we’ve been told for as long as we can remember that love will save us … that a relationship is that missing piece we need to complete our lives. It’s no wonder so many women focus on this so intently and think a relationship is all they need to make them happy.
I’m not denying the power of being in an amazing relationship. It can be transformative, and the benefits are immense. But before you can enjoy those benefits, you need to be in the right place internally. Unfortunately, this sometimes takes work.
I know better than anyone what this is like. During my chronically single years all I could think about was how badly I wanted to be in a relationship. I focused on my wanting, on the lack of decent, available men, on how hard it is to date in New York City, on how unfair the whole thing is … but not so much on whether I was even ready to be in a real relationship. And for most of that time, the answer was no. It took a few years and many epiphanies before I got to the right place internally and sorted through what needed sorting.
So trust me, I’m the last person to pass judgment. But I’m also the first person to give you a dose of honest truth and help you along the sometimes daunting road to get to where you want to go.
And with that, let’s take a look at the most glaring signs that you aren’t ready to be in a relationship.