Will he ask for a second date?

Hi Lynn.

If a man doesn’t ask me out by the end of the first date I don’t fret nor care if I hear from him again. I clearly express that I hate texting when I meet them, so if he plays the texting game without solidifying another date (specifying a day, time and activity), I bow out and delete his number. However, if a man is truly interested he will lock down another date within a few days (give him some time to plan one), but if he doesn’t I would stop entertaining him and move on.

You need to continue to live your life normally, make plans and stay busy to keep your emotions in check. If you’re into a guy way more than he’s into you then the odds of it progressing are slim to none. Don’t stress or you’re coming from an emotional place, not a rational one because you really don’t know this guy—he’s just a stranger you only met for a few hours.

If it doesn’t appear as if he’s progressing towards another date by tomorrow then tell yourself “WHAT A BORE—NEXT”!

Hi Lynn
In my opinion there is definitely not a timeline where I would say okay he hasn’t asked by now so you should ask. HE needs to do all of the pursuing in the beginning. Guys are all different in their timing but I would think he would have asked by now. Just keep on dating other guys and looking for a guy who can give you the relationship you are looking for. How did seeing him briefly last night come about??

Well that’s what I’m saying. I DON’T want to be the pursuer. At all. I guess the more of “wait to see” is just like, how do I say this? Like if he still talks to me but hasn’t secured another date just to write him off, in a week? 3 days? I’m talking to and lining up dates with other men, so I’m not sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. But I don’t want to be the girl that looks desperate that if it’s been two weeks and he asks me out again, I accept. To me that says I’m willing to accept that kind of behavior. but if it’s typical for it to take that long, I don’t want to just write him off just because of a little thing like that. When clearly we do like each other’s company. Seeing him went well last night, and he came to see me.
Just wondering from other’s experiences how long it seemed to take to get that second (or now kind of 3rd lol) date. I’m going to be honest, I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time. I’ve never had a problem finding a man to spend time with, but I’ve always been the one to pursue things. And I don’t feel like I should have to. I’m a great person, smart, pretty, and if someone wants to be with me they will. But like I said, since I’m out of the loop, nowadays what seems to be the typical guy MO of asking for that next date.

Thanks LAgirl. I have to agree. He knows I’m available Thursday this week. Only other day I had free besides the Sunday we met. He knows this because when he originally asked me out I suggested Thursday, but then threw caution to the wind and said, hell, let’s meet Sunday! So I would think, since I know that he knows I didn’t have plans for Thursday, that if he doesn’t set something up for that day or at least by that day for something next week, I could say goodbye.

“But I don’t want to be the girl that looks desperate that if it’s been two weeks and he asks me out again, I accept. To me that says I’m willing to accept that kind of behavior. but if it’s typical for it to take that long, I don’t want to just write him off just because of a little thing like that.”

The problem is that there is really no formula so nobody can give you an exact answer, like if he doens’t ask you out after a week then don’t accept. You want exact, we can’t give you that.

All you can do is take it step by step and be present, in the moment. For example, let’s say he said “Oh, sorry I have been out of touch, my mom was in an accident”. Well, this early on that would be reasonable to lose contacts with you for two weeks, you barely know eachother, and I would accept a date offer. Let’s say after 2 weeks, he says “”Hey babe, wanna come over tonight”, well that isn’t a date so unless you want to be his booty call you say no. So let’s say it’s 2 weeks and he says he’s been busy but you would like to meet for a drink, I’d say ok, and then I’d not get involved with him physically and really try to get to know him and see if he seems genuine and the kind of man I am looking for.

This is why we can’t give you an exact formula, cause it depends on how it happens, how he communicates etc. Does this make sense?

After a long period of no dating, I decided to test the waters and felt really good about this date or at comfortable. The date went well, conversation flowed beautifully, a little hugging and light kissing. Nothing too forward. We both had a difficult time ending the evening. I thank him for the dinner and great company and made sure he knew that I would like to see him again, without just attacking him. Then, I receive a text stating that it was nice meeting and getting to know me and that he’s sure we will do this again. “I’m sure we’ll do this again.” That is like saying nice to meet you, but no thanks. I am so busy that I will not let this bother me, but now, how are you suppose to know. I am a Lady and keep hearing how beautiful I am. I am intellengent, articulate, funny, sincere, worldly, confident, spirited, caring and honest, those are the qualities I attempt to convey before meeting anybody.

So, I can say, I understand what you are faced with. Just continue to be you. Don’t let anybody change who you are. It’s okay to be a woman, but make sure you are treated like a Lady. I know you wondered why, but men are unable to make decisions sometimes and when they do, it may be the wrong one or too late.

I do not plan to contact the man that I dated, because he left it cold and was not that way on the date or on the many phone conversations. I feel that texting is cool for conveying somethings, just not for conversations.

You are worthy and when you meet the right man, he will respect and acknowledge you as such.

I do understand the shock of having a great date and just not understanding what happened. Makes you want to just confront him and ask what his deal is…poor English, but you get the point.

I’ve been on both sides of the coin with this one.

I’ve had guys say something like that, then ask me out a few days later, then follow up a few days after that with the plan.

I’ve had guys act all needy, ask me out again, then never follow up with the plan.

I’ve had guys text me that and never follow up.

Unfortunately, there is no way to tell. You just have to wait and see.

Almost two years old, in fact.

I was actually wondering this same thing. I went out with an old high school friend for dinner and we talked and laughed for hours. At the end of the night he told me he wanted to see me again and kissed me goodnight before I left. He’s really busy with work, school and his child and we talk sporadically. He said he wanted to see me again and has implied a few times about future plans but has not asked me on a second date. Should I just give it more time?

It’s been 3.5 years, the suspense is killing me!