Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › why would a man add tons of hot girls on Facebook?
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AshDurham.
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truesunshine
Hello there :)
I’ve been searching for this topic on the site and the forum but haven’t found posts on this subject.I have a pretty silly question I guess: why would a guy add tons of hot random girls on Facebook? (a 28 years old man, not a teen). I’m casually dating this guy for a while, I really like him but I’m not sure how he feels about me, he does like me but each time he gets closer and opens up, he suddenly backs off and is out of reach for a while. I’ve learned that if I give him space, he’ll come back. However, I couldn’t help but notice that he adds tons of hot girls on Facebook, no mutual friends, not necessarily from the same city, no ugly girls, no guys. I didn’t notice him liking or commenting on their pictures, not sure if they chat, but it’s bugging me… Does it mean he’s keeping his options open? Does he want to look cool, like a player or maybe he wants to impress someone, to get over an ex? Should this bother me?
Thanks in advance for your replies guys. have a nice day :)
Stefanie
As Phoebe would say on Friends… well, DUH!
He’s actively dating around. He comes back to you when it didn’t work out with someone else. Isn’t serious about you at this stage.
Up to you to decide what you want and if there’s any reason to keep seeing him.
Amy
My bf had been doing the same on facebook for the first 5 months of our relationship, although he never backed off from me. I raised my concern a few times. He was scared I talked to other men on facebook myself so he deleted all those girls and changed his relationship status and he demanded me the same.
For what I know, guys like him actually don’t take online stuff too seriously. But it does take some work to make them more committed.
buttercup
An ex of mine did this. Girls accounts that were typical man magnets. Saucy selfies, horny status’s, no mutual friends, and girls from all over the world.
He was not very facebook savvy, and didn’t realise his new friends and comments to them showed up in my news feed. Also meaning they showed up in other peoples too! Family members, his and mine. He was in his 40’s these were young girls, early twenties.
I brought it up to him one day, and he was really embarrassed, and worried people would think he was sleazy!So he deleted them!
However, if a man’s into doing that he’ll probably only stop for a bit. I find guys like this like the attention. They crave it. Especially when their self esteem is a bit low.
This ex stopped the adds on facebook, but then continued to seek attention and pretty girls elsewhere on line.
I’ve reached a point now where I dont want a man that feels the need to do this. If he was 100% happy with me he wouldn’t need to seek out others.
Lola
Ditto to the self-esteem thing.
Getting attention helps people feel wanted.
Should it bother you?
It would bother me.Jessica
Not saying that you should.. but, if it was me I would put random hot guys on my Facebook page since he’s ok with doing it to you. Just saying but, that’s me.. Lol
buttercup
I thought that Jessica, but in my case, although I’m an avid facebook user he wasn’t, and didn’t watch my account like I watched his! So when I did add guys as friends (men I actually know) he never noticed or questioned. So random hot guys I doubt he’d notice either!
sarah
A guy I liked did the same and I used to check his profile every now and then. I started stalking like a psychopath. But one day I decided to unfriend him. Now I have given him enough space and he knows that I have unfriended him.
Boo
Likely, because he’s a pig.
Robert
Some of these responses are hilarious, especially the first one! you sound resentful, did you get played?
To answer the question, he is probably masturbating over their pictures.Mary k
I’m boyfriend keep add female to become friends on Facebook, he was my photo in his photo cover and he put in a relationship, he only care about me, I should worry about it
Linda
Mary K, this post is two years old
Trying to be a Healthy relationship
Hi my ex does this but he actually has conversation to some not all. We are trying to make things work again and I wanted to be clear so I ask him straight out if I could see his messages and he did he has been adding a lot of hot women very hot women from all over and yes it did bug me, but yes he talking to them but he’s not hitting on them. So I just take it as he loves beautiful women he always have. I ask him why he does it and he said I don’t know but I’m not trying to get with any of them i am just talking to them. I say don’t freak out and if you have doubts then ask him its better the snooping and driving yourself crazy and if he doesn’t show u then I would say then u have a problem. I been with my ex for 3 years and we decided to take things very slow and try make our relationship last in the future if we decided to be together one last time and try make things work. I’m still learning to accept he looks for women on fb but if he’s be true to me and not being s seezy then I think you and I shouldn’t freak out so much am I wrong?
been there done that
Are you kidding me Trying to be a healthy relationship? He doesn’t know why he talks to these gorgeous women and it is not hitting on them? I don’t get it why women bear all this just to be in a relationship? So if you start adding hot dudes and talk to them on facebook or social media he wouldn’t care? I don’t think so. There’s more to his story. He may have showed you the censored version of his conversation. Why aren’t you enough? or his friends enough to talk to? why does he need beautiful women around who aren’t even his friends they are random chicks.
Something to re consider.
Crisula
OP from 2014
Lisa
I agree with you Been There Done That. If he’s not grown up enough to give his real relationship the attention instead of random women online, then move on. Talking to these women turns to emotional cheating….he can become obsessed and fixated on someone by chatting with them online. It can turn to him doing whatever the other woman (women) want him to do….send them money, gifts, kill their husband/lover, or even kill you so they can be together.
That stuff has happened in real life. He needs to nip it in the bud or lose you.
Brielle
We are all humans and sometimes need a little attention from the opposite sex. I don’t think its a major red flag, but I would monitor him from time to time to see if he slips up and express to him the boundaries your comfortable with.
I go thru my boyfriends fb and he has a bunch of friends men & women, but I did notice him contact a few random women that lived thousand of miles away. These women never replied to his msg but when I confronted him about it he points out that he doesn’t even know these women and doesn’t see it as a big deal basically. Not defending him, but if your innocently flirting and have no plans on physically meeting I can see how one might not think its a big deal. I go thru his phone and he msgs his old female friends from his home town. Its playfully flirty sometimes, and they sometimes exchange pics (nothing nude or explicit). These women live in another country. I know ppl who read this may think im stupid for staying but he’s a sweet & good guy. Plus we are always together so the likely hood of him seeing one of those girls is unlikely.
But the main reason why I’m probably cool with is because i do the same things but its a little worse. My bf never went thru my phone but if he did I would have some explaining to do. My male friends all live within my area too, and on top of that Im a woman so new men, old flings, old fwb contact me & probably will never leave me alone unless I move, & change my number, & delete all social media lol but seriously. My bf litterally has or at least portrays more trust in me than I have for him. Because thats what this is really about trust.
But some ppl just want outside attention other than their relationship. Me & my bf talked about it & we both agreed. The bigger picture is when dating or being in a relationship, (investigate lol) communicate, trust, compromise, and get on each others page. If yall cool with it who tf cares what other ppl think
Vika
Hello,
I wonder how are you going doing? Are you still together?
Lisa
Well.
It’s hard to say, there could be many different reasons other than “the dude really likes girls”., but
I do believe that when a man falls in love with a woman, and if he respects her and her feelings, he wil rid himself of juvenile & selfish motives.
If not:
Well as for me, I do not believe nor did I teach my children double standards. In other words, what is good for him is good to me too.😊
pretty much anyone who is in a relationship with me will be eating what they dish out.
commitment is only given from me to another who deserves it. men who are constantly filling thier heads and hearts with fantasies of other women’s genitals (which all females have) are simply too small minded for me and not worth my heart or commitment.
So for a shortened explanation:
These type of men are not to be taken seriously, other than a play toy that is, until they actually become serious.
Until then ….girls stay happy, single and free 😘TINA
I went through this. I was dating a guy who I met online. When we became facebook friends, he was hesitant. I searched and found he was still friends w two exes, and they actively continued liking pics on each others pages. He did this with more than one. I ignored that, but then when he popped up on my IG, I requested him and he took a few weeks to respond. He’d say, “You’re not going to like my page I have women who flirt with me on there.” I didn’t care, we exchanged IG and i was floored by how many beautiful women were actively liking everything he posted. I couldn’t see if he liked anythign of theirs, I found that he didn’t. One day I posted a pic of myself and he became jealous at the ONE man who commented. I reminded him of his IG and he stopped his bull.
Finally, I checked his online screen name on google and found he not only had a hidden account, but was using this account to remain in contact with a woman he was living with a woman for 2 years, and even while with me. I noticed they didn’t share ig or fb and could be the reason they are still together, she’s obviously retarted.Anyway, point being – don’t let this stuff slide…investigate…well
Lisa
Well.
I’m short explanation….dude has a problem with lust.
A problem YOU can not change.
My honest opinion?
He is too small minded. I wouldn’t see this type as anything other than a toy until he actually becomes serious in love with you. 😊
Until then, these guys simply aren’t worthy of your reaoect, much less your heart.so…. ladies stay happy, single and free.
It’s worth it!😘Raylene Gardner
Well….damn it.
My husband does this,but mostly through people he knows or I know or his mutual friends of or his younger guy friends current and ex girlfriends, or some from past he says;” she’s married ” or…”she’s like a sister” or ” I’m married to you”… they are usually young in 20’s or late teens up to early 30’s. Keep in mind we are in our 50’s!
He claims they sent him the request . Then I find out it was him that sent it. Other times its after we are in a social setting and he receives request from the young hottie he was saying hello to or “catching up” with, he will refuse to accept request. Ha! but does not remove the request either. Much later it has been accepted. I can’t talk to him about it. He denies, lies and claims I do the same :(
GeeshHeather
I wouldn’t go as far as saying he’s a huge pervert or an awful human being etc etc buuuuut it’s quite a public way of getting ‘masturbation material’ or attention or whatever validation he may be seeking. He either doesn’t give a s**t, isn’t very tactful or isn’t very Facebook savvy.
I would cut the stalking of his profile and just accept he probably isn’t for you regardless of if you really like him or not. You seem like a nice girl, and this will probably bother you more and more the longer you continue to see him. I’d think realistically if you can overlook this and trust that it’s nothing serious, or mention it to him but he will probably be offended and/or embarrassed OR make excuses.Amy
He does this because he wants to. What are you hoping to learn by investigating potential motives? This line of thinking will only wear you out.
deva nargis
hello.thank you for your post.it saved my very new relationship,as i noticed on my b/f f/b page,recently added friends,always girls,specially stunning half naked call girls-on line sex.-because i am interested on the guy ,i decided giving him time,and see how things will go…or,-i am really confused,and angry and mad wanting revenge,putting nice looking dudes on my wall,and declaring him straight away i will not tolerate such a behavior .that’s better.anyway thanks.
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