Why won't they let go


Home Forums Relationship Advice For Women Why won't they let go

This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Eric Charles 1 year ago.

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  • #9915 Reply

    ‘Chele

    “I love you, just not the way you deserve” “I want you to be happy” “I don’t want to lose you in my life” There are two men in my life right now, one I’ve known for YEARS, one for 8 months. I’ve dated both of them. At the three month mark, each of them broke off our exclusive relationships (that they asked for) using the above nonsense. Neither of them can let me go. They both call me every day, send me sweet dreams goodnight texts. They are both life long bachelors. I’ve told them both that I am going to be dating since they broke it off, and they get upset. One tells me how perfect we are for each other…then why the break up??
    What are all the mind games about? I let them drive the relationship, and they freaked out at 3 months because they couldn’t handle it. I said OK and moved on, now they are freaking out because of that! If they don’t want to be in a relationship, then why do hang on and not let go?

    #9917 Reply

    Michelle

    Not sure if you’re answering when they make contact, but IMO, no answer = no chance. While we’re still answering, they have a ‘chance’…whether it’s too boost their ego or get sex, I’m not sure. Women are the ones that have to establish the strong boundaries before, during and after.

    #9920 Reply

    ‘Chele

    I do answer, because one I’ve known since high school (which was a long time ago) and I’m part of his family, and the other we really do enjoy each other’s company. We have so much fun together. I don’t ever initiate contact with either of them. It just seems like they tell me they want me to be happy and they aren’t “the guy”, but they try to keep me wrapped up somehow so I “can’t” find someone else. I am going on dates with other guys, however.

    #10175 Reply

    Eric Charles
    Keymaster

    Going on dates with other guys sounds like a good plan.

    You’d be amazed at how often a guy who says he “can’t” be in a relationship changes his tune when he thinks he could lose you for good.

    And when a guy doesn’t, it’s because it was never ever going to happen between you and him.

    Win-win.

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