Why Is he always on my mind?


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  • #606499 Reply
    Julia

    There is this guy who has pretty much always been in my life. We met my sophomore year of high school because I was dating his best friend. A few years later, I had a class with him. This was long after I broke up with his friend. We had a very strong attraction to each other, but I was still a virgin and very naive. He texted me a few times over the summer to hang out, but it was usually just to have sex I think. He would call me in the middle of the night, then when I didn’t answer he would frantically text me asking why I didn’t pick up. He talked to a mutual friend about me and the friend told me that this guy was clearly into me. But I was very shy so I didn’t do anything about it.
    Anyway, one night we kissed and it wasn’t great. Like I said, I was still a virgin and a bit sexually awkward and I think that’s why. He texted me again a week later at 3am to “hang out.” Of course I declined because I wasn’t ready to lose my virginity. After that, I stopped hearing from him.
    He got a girlfriend a month or two later and this is when I instantly regretted not talking to him about my feelings. I don’t know if he ever would have dated me then because we were very different but there was something there.
    Anyway, I saw him a few times two years ago after we both graduated and we kissed once but since then I haven’t seen him.
    I still think about him all the time. On a daily basis. I don’t know why but I can’t get him off my mind. It’s been four years since we had those “feelings.” No matter who I date, I still think about him. Every time I’m in his presence It feels like I’m burning, that’s how intense my feelings are. I don’t know what to do about it.

    #606501 Reply
    Hannah

    He’s turned into a fantasy for you.

    Remember the reality was this guy used to try a 3am booty calls on you. He didn’t try to romance other date you. He just wanted sex and you’ve turned him into prince charming in your head. No man will match his now because he’s not a real person. He’s a fantasy.

    So start seeing him for what he was. A guy with little interest who wanted sex. Even if you were shy and naive, you shouldn’t be chasing a man. He would have told you if he had feelings for you. You didn’t need to do anything. But he didn’t say anything because he wasn’t that interested.

    Sorry to sound harsh but you need to kill the fantasy!

    #606518 Reply
    redcurleysue

    In reality you know very little about him so Hannah is right…he is a fantasy.

    These feelings you have are based on a puff of smoke…if you really got to know him they would disappear.

    You have the feelings of an intense crush of your imagination, actually this is the stuff of romance novels….maybe you should write a novel….probably be a best seller.

    What you need to do is see him as human. Consider how he treated you…contacting you in the middle of the night….that was not romance calling…that was a jerk. That was disrespectful and lewd…not good for a romance hero.

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