Why is he still contacting his Ex?

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This topic contains 61 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  L 1 year, 1 month ago.

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  • #619892 Reply


    My boyfriend and I been together for a year we live together and have a son together. The problem is I keep catching him talking and getting in touch with his EX Gf this will be the fourth time. Every time he tells me he doesnt want her anymore he loves me. Until I saw messages between the two of them he was asking if she loves her boyfriend and telling her he is going to leave me, wants to know if he lost her. He acts like it when he is around me because we both laughed at her voicemail she left on his phone. If so why is he still contacting her? I finally told her to get over it and to leave him alone….

    #619895 Reply


    Me finding these messages was recent he told me the same thing he doesn’t want her but he still acts like he wants me we make fun of her all the time. I made sure she knew that….

    #619901 Reply


    Good luck. Your problem is not with her. It’s with your lying cheating boyfriend. You saw proof with your own eyes that he engages with her, ASKS her if there’s still a chance, tells her he still loves her, and that he’s going to leave you. But for some reason you believe him when he tells you what you want to hear, and because he makes fun of her voicemail with you. Guess what. He’s making fun of you WITH HER too.

    You can do whatever you can to get rid of this girl, but there will be another girl along soon enough and you’ll find yourself dealing with the same old problem. You can’t cure a disease by treating a symptom.

    #619902 Reply


    I’m sorry, but all the evidence of the truth is right in front of your face. The problem isn’t really the ex, it’s your BF. He’s reaching out to her because he still loves her.

    He said so, and in fact said he’s going to leave you. I’d bet six months salary that is exactly what he intends to do.

    He’s lying to you. He most likely makes fun of you to the ex, too. He’s playing both sides. At the very least he is emotionally cheating on you, he may also be physically cheating. If he isn’t…yet…he soon will be.

    I’d be talking to a lawyer to ensure he is held legally responsible for his share of supporting your child, and other than that I’d be done with him.

    I certainly would not be living with him one more second. You are very naïve if you believe his nonsense. Sorry.

    #619906 Reply


    Why do women always want to blame the other woman and not the MAN who is causing the trouble. You two make fun of her? Guess what he’s doing with her behind your back… wake up and smell the espresso babe. He wants her and is only with you because of the kid. And this is why I fail to understand why women have kids out of wedlock. Losing proposition a lot of the time.

    #619909 Reply


    Well this explains why he isn’t trying to marry you.

    #619916 Reply


    Jeeeez…you saw the messages, but you choose to believe his lies.

    BTW…he’s a terrible liar

    #619924 Reply


    He hasn’t left yet? I would think he would by now that doesnt count for anything…. I know he doesnt have great credit but he hasnt left and still acting like my boyfriend.

    #619925 Reply


    So, it’s okay by you if he chases after his ex and you found messages from him to her as long as he stays?

    There can be numerous reasons why he stays. Such as, he doesn’t want to pay child support. He will if he moves out.

    A friend of mine from college split with her husband over the last year. She said that when she thinks back to the number of times she went after other women begging them to leave her husband alone, she had just gotten rid of her husband already. Because if one woman left there was always another.

    #619926 Reply


    Hi Really-this is classic commitment phobic man behavior=he can’t make a commitment,not even a commitment to not commit-so he behaves badly to have it both ways-because you allow him to treat you like a doormat. In plain,non-therapy speak-he is an as@hole. This will get worse and not get better-He is totally disrespecting you and your child. Kick him out.

    #619928 Reply


    There hasnt been any other woman besides his Ex. It will fine or quiet for a couple of months after I caught him and then he gets in contact with her again. I dont understand his motive what is it sex? Cause that doesnt make sense. She is allowing it even if they are just talking she cant have him. Im not forcing him to stay…

    So thats why I told her to leave him alone

    #619929 Reply


    You’ve only been together a year and already have a baby? So you got pregnant less than 3 months into the relationship? Sounds like you were a rebound but now he’s saddled with a kid with you and feels stuck. If he doesn’t want her anymore why would he tell her he’s going to leave you and want to know if he’s lost her? You don’t believe what you read in black and white with your own eyes? You’d rather choose to believe his lies and blame the woman for it!! She’s still contacting him and leaving him voicemails because he’s contacting her!! I bet you don’t know half of what he’s said to her. He’s probably been really good at deleting a lot of their conversations. I realize you have a child to think about but this guy is a liar and possible a cheat. Good luck!

    #619931 Reply


    It’s not sex
    he’s obviously still in LOVE with her,

    and she with him

    but he got you pregnant…he’s trapped
    I have a feeling you’ll only be able to keep them apart so long…

    #619939 Reply


    This is why cheaters get away with bad behavior. The woman refuses to accept and see the proof right in front of her eyes.

    He doesn’t respect you in any way. And if you think anything he tells you resembles the truth…good luck with that.

    Maybe when he finally leaves you, you will believe the truth. He is using you, and as others said probably feels trapped by the baby.

    #619941 Reply

    Crisula and

    You know what I think?

    I think you don’t give a damn..you just want him regardless of whether he wants out or not, and you’ll scratch anybody’s eyes out that comes near your ‘property’

    that’s how I see it…
    I wouldn’t put it past you that he WAS trapped ;)

    That’s my take

    #619948 Reply


    Oh honey.

    Why would you want to be with a man who wants to be with another woman? Even if he’s telling her that? I would kick him out on his ass so hard and never look back. Who cares if he doesn’t “leave.” I wouldn’t let him STAY! You know you sound pathetic, right? I don’t say that to be mean. I say that to be HONEST. you need to take a hard look in the mirror and realize you need better for you and your child. because that’s the only reason he’s there because of the child. if you didn’t have a child he wouldn’t be there. i’m not necessarily saying he’s still in love with that woman but he wants to mess around on you and it’s easier to do with an ex. he doesn’t want to be with you and only is because of the kid.

    show him you know deserve better and kick him out.

    #619950 Reply


    True,Crisula-Really is gloating a bit-like she has won-even as she is worried about losing.

    #619955 Reply


    Do you really want this guy?!

    #619961 Reply


    Who pays the bills? If he isn’t physically cheating yet, he’s emotionally cheating on you. real love does not look like your scenario. And no woman would tolerate this except one with extremely low self esteem and who is maybe afraid she can’t support herself and child.

    One thing for sure, he’s a good actor .. he has you fooled, doesn’t he?

    #619962 Reply


    If my BF did this I would have been gone…would not have let the screen door hit me on the way out.

    I do understand that you have a precious child to think about…but this guy is a walking nightmare.

    Gone girl.

    #619968 Reply


    Im a young woman 21 he makes the most money and pays the bills. The apartment is in my name I have a son with him I got my to know his family. This girl had her chance while thy were together she slipped with her birth control and ended up pregnant and had a abortion because she wasnt ready. He claims he would never get back with her because of the abortion she had her shot and gave it away. If she is so wonderful why hasnt he left.

    #619969 Reply


    Because she isn’t so wonderful
    And neither is he.

    #619977 Reply


    You keep ignoring the question of “Why are you still with him if he told her he’s going to leave you?” He flat out said it. Are you just going to wait around until he finally does it? Or kick his butt out?

    #619993 Reply


    “If she is so wonderful why hasn’t he left.” – because of your son.

    #620000 Reply


    Umm, what? You read and saw the messages for yourself… Isn’t that proof enough? He’s contacting this girl and telling her he is going to leave you. I would not be okay with that if I were you, no matter what he tells me. Because of the written proof.

    He sounds like a mess. I wouldn’t want that. Even if by some miracle he didn’t mean what he tells her, that fact that he is in contact with her and is telling her these things is concerning enough.

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