This topic contains 11 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by L 5 months, 2 weeks ago.
December 4, 2017 at 5:48 pm #670763
Let me preface by saying I’m not a millennial and I’ve had plenty of romantic experience. Why does everyone on here seem to think that texting is such a problem in relationships? Every successful relationship I’ve had has been full of text conversations. Not in place of face to face contact, but in addition to it. All the men I date seem to enjoy it too. It’s an effective easy way to share banter, links to things, talk about activities throughout the day, and generally get to know someone better. If it’s a lazy form of communication then I guess I’m the lazy one, because I HATE setting aside a chunk of my day for a phone call. That to me is unsatisfying time spent together. It feels unnatural to me to speak without seeing body language, and I’m a busy person. When I’m not hanging out with my significant other, I’d rather be doing something, not stuck on the phone. With texting we can keep chatting even while watching a movie or making dinner, and it doesn’t take away from my day.
December 4, 2017 at 6:02 pm #670766
Your life, your choices.
If it works for you, keep doing it. I personally, have seen many budding relationships circle the drain because of bad communication due to texting. My best relationships, romantic or otherwise, succeed because of real conversations. Texting is not the devil, but it’s best to be used for covering the superficial stuff, not the important stuff.December 4, 2017 at 6:04 pm #670768
Your post explains the good aspects of texting. Getting to know someone primarily through texts is the problem as you need to do something and actually talk to someone in person to get to know someone.
Texting should not be used to discuss issues or have a serious conversation and that’s why it can be bad- you can’t really show empathy through a text/emojis well while a phone call is better.December 4, 2017 at 6:05 pm #670769
It’s more natural to read words on a screen without body language, tone of voice, or having to give your full attention to someone? A ten minute phone call is more productive, more personal and when done you put the phone away. What your saying is that You really ARE tethered to your phone if you have to work in a conversation in between work, movies, visits with friends. Id rather have someone’s full attention than one tenth of it in between commercials. I used to have a female friend who would text guys in between while we were at the pool, grilling, or I ran to the bathroom lol. I finally told her to let me know when she has time to spend without sending text messages. It’s rude to multi task when having company. And what’s even worse is people who feel this need to text while sitting at stop lights in the car. What honestly is so important or cute that you have to be in non stop contact with anyone? No one really enjoys life anymore because they can’t take their nose out of the phone long enough to live in real time.
In terms of dating there are thousands of posts on here with arguments and break ups that probably never would have happened if the people spoke and didn’t text. Maybe you have had good luck but most of the women on here haven’t and are posting thing to figure out how to in do something they shouldn’t have written or how to interpret a cryptic text from some guy.December 4, 2017 at 6:10 pm #670770
I never text while I’m driving a car or talking to another person. I agree those things are dangerous/rude. I’m probably tied to my phone much less than the average person…I can go days without even turning it on if I’m out camping or something. I just think texting serves a useful purpose. I guess it’s a personal preference thing.December 4, 2017 at 6:21 pm #670773
Like you say, you can’t read body language in a phone call, I can’t read tone of voice in a text. Many people can’t.
I think it’s fine for some communication, especially when you’ve seen each other recently and/or are really close. But other times it can be very confusing and impersonal.December 4, 2017 at 6:22 pm #670774
I think texting isn’t bad when used in certain ways.
Unfortunately, many of the examples here are people using to get to know someone else, used to discuss sensitive topics, or people arguing with one another.
Texting initially was a very small feature on phones, allowed only a certain amount of characters.
Now its turned into something else. I think less is more for texting.
I use it to communicate plans with my bf, greetings, funny inside jokes, small talk. However, I think something is special about receiving a phone call on the days we don’t see each other.
All relationships are different though.December 4, 2017 at 7:47 pm #670787
I agree if you know the person well, and you do fine with it, go with it. But the problem I see on here constantly is that women and men text in lieu of real dating. Texting creates a false sense of intimacy. You think you are getting to know the person but you really aren’t. You can know a person unless you see how they interact in person with and others. That you see for yourself they are single and not some guy blowing smoke up your azzz while his gf or wife is in the next room watching television. So many women come on here heartbroken because a guy they texted and ‘fell for’ after weeks or months of texting stood them up or disappeared when things started to get real.
I guess I’m surprised at your comment because if you even read for a few weeks on here you will see what a mess texting can turn into. My bf then, now husband, and I rarely texted. I can think of two times that we had a conversation and it was sexting and flirting. Otherwise we talk on the phone. And still do. Texting is for quick updates. I find most people text when they are bored or killing time. That’s, to me, isn’t romantic at all. I get doing it with some random guy you are dating, but if they guy is your bf, you actually believe taking time out of your day to talk to him is wasting your precious time? That’s sad.December 4, 2017 at 9:39 pm #670825
Exactly what kind of “conversations” can you have via text? I can see jokes and some banter, but not real meaningful conversations, and those are the ones that bond you and help you get to know someone. Sending jokes and exchanging links..how is that getting to know someone better? everyone can find and send those.
Texting can be a good addition to your normal communication after you’ve already developed a relationship, after you’ve known someone for awhile, but not as something to start with and build things upon it.December 4, 2017 at 10:07 pm #670828
Texting is a poor way to get to know someone. Texting is fine for jokes and light conversation, but for anything heavier it is useless, it is like trying to discuss philosophy through smoke signals.December 5, 2017 at 12:10 am #670837
Years ago it was called the Dear John letter. To breakup with someone you do not see or are directly speaking to.
I have emailed people and had to explain what my attitude was behind the email. Another person cannot see the body language or hear the tone of voice in written script and the communication can be misconstrued. If this can happen in professional emails I ask what can happen in text?
Relationships are too important to make and break in text. That is my opinion.December 5, 2017 at 12:15 am #670839
Omg! Stephen had an intelligent thought! Maybe he’s a savant with mostly stems and twerks. But he was LUCID!