why didn't he tell me?

Well i was standing in the kitchen and i saw from behind that he got a friend request and it was her but, he didn’t catch me seeing it. And later i saw she wasn’t on his friend list. Well he has lied to me about her for 7months said she is an ex, notthing about their affiar or that she was married.He even wrote here back then that he loved only her and she is more special than me.

Of course i am concered here, and if he starts talking to her then I’TS OVER FOREVER.

im just so scared..understand please.

Thanks, Jules,

Yes, he can’t see her now, me and him are leaving aboard but, she lives 6 hours away from him in his country. But she even offered him to come and work in her city when me and him was broken up, but for some reason he didn’t.

What is concerning is that he deleted her and deleted their messages, i wonder still to this day why he deleted her messags, was it something i wasn’t supposed to see?

To be honest, he lied about being on a dating site and talking to 20 other women on their while i broke up with hm, only 5 days he started dating other girls + his ex . i found this out he never told me about he started talking to her so fast.

I just dont know if he truly loves me, and i do not trust him fully. if i found out he talks to her behind my back, do you think i should end it?

Hi,,would you like your bf to read messages you wrote to your last bf? Why would he tell you about her having an affair – she wasn’t his mistress – he wasn’t the one married!!
You need to calm down sweetie! People have a way of revealing things as time progresses. We all have a past. Why would he want her – she’s not available, it was probably just sex but with you he wants a relationship properly. He’s done everything he can to appease you, if you carry on you’ll drive him.away!
Maybe when you ended he went back so quickly because he needed his ‘wonds licking’ men are not women – they don’t want to feel the pain, they just want it gone and for someone else to make it better….you have to trust he wants to be with you.
This is about your lack of confidence imo and that is something YOU need to work on – because whether its this guy or another, id you don’t sort that out happiness will evade you!

Well he lied about alot of things, you don’t seem to understand here why i misstrust him. IT IS NOT OK TO SIT AND TALK TO YOUR MISTRES ONLINE AND LIE ABOUT IT. You just try to tell me it’s me, well would you like your bf to sit and write to his ex messages about that he wants her …or that she is more special than you?

plus yoou are two people having an affair, he was helping her to have an afair, its just not “her”. like you are trying to makke it seem. there is always to peeople involed , and she still wants contact with him obivousltt and she is still married …she of course i am a worried. AND HE SAID HE LOVED HER?!?!?!?!+!!?

Emelie, you seem pretty clear on how dishonest this guy is. So why do you want to stay with him? If you don’t have a foundation of honesty, you have nothing to work with.

I completely agree with you. He is a cheater too since he is involved with her. It shows the level of integrity he has. It is not unlikely that he is in love with her, but he can’t have her since she is already married, so the next best thing…second best (you?).

You already broke up once because of her. Really the only thing you can expect from people is what they have already done. People do change, but he is showing you the direction he is putting his focus.

So, the question really is what do you want to do about it?

Hi Emelie-you answered your own question-you do not trust him, accept his habits rtc. etc. and feel you made a bad choice in him. Okay,this is easy-just un-choose him. Tell me that things are not working for you,wish him well and move on. Whether it is yor insecurity or he is not trustworthy the bottom line is that you are unhappy and this seems unlikely to change. Good luck.

I agree with Peggy. I think you have made it clear to yourself that this guy is not the right guy for you. He sounds pretty troubled to me too. Men NEED to be productive and when they are not their life can spiral downward. Sounds like he is moving in that direction and that you don’t want to go with him.

You are not a victim. Just like Peggy said, you can un-chose him.

If you feel something odd about him, trust that. Women’s intuition is very powerful and I think you are right.

If I were in your shoes, I would ask him to leave. It is not your responsibility that he has put himself in this financial situation. Plus, kicking him out might give him the motivation to get his life back on track. I doubt he is happy with himself. A guy sponging off a woman is pretty pathetic and deep inside him, he knows that.

Take care of you and always trust your gut. Once you get past this, I am sure you will find a good guy who wants to be with you and only you.

Emelie,

If it is a friend of urs fell in ur situation, I am sure u’d ask her to leave the guy. I get that u r constantly worried about him messaging her or “cheating” on u. When u said u had made a wrong choice, we all agree. But you really were happy to hear it when we suggested u leave him. So, what is it that is so difficult to leave him, what arr u scared of?

haha holy crap. this is one of those moments where i had to wrack my brains and try to figure out if the guy you are dating is an ex of mine. (it’s not.) completely spot on: the anger, the online poker, the weed, the aggression, the mooching, the low morals. trust me, girl: ask him to not let the door hit him where the good lord split him.

this is literally the gif i showed my guy when i realized what was happening and i was tired of his mooching:

i.imgur.com/BbFyP.gif

You’ve posted about this guy before … I thought you were going to end it…

So, what you do is make plans to stay with a GF for a few days. On the day you are ready you put on your hat and coat…you tell him this is not working for you and he has 3 days to get out….if he is not out by then you will call the police to escort him out.

You leave and go to your friend. You stay there three days, you call him on day three and ask if he is out…if he is out you go home….if he is not out you call the police to get him out…you do not go home until he and his things are out.