Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › We stare at each other from across the room, I made a move, should I wait now?
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 9 years, 8 months ago by
Lane.
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Dulce
I started going to the gym about 2 months ago. One day, I went with my sister to work out and she told me that one of the employees was staring at me.
I looked over and sure enough, Mr. Gorgeous was staring right at me. Being shy around guys, I just kind of looked away and my sister STILL kept telling me that he was following me with his gaze.
This went on for weeks.
I would walk out of Zumba and him and his friend would be looking at me and talking, then looking away when I caught their eye.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him and have now developed a massive crush on this guy.
So one day, I decided to tell him straight up that I thought he was cute. We bumped into each other near the restroom, and there was no one there but us.
He apologized about being in the girls restroom (he was changing the towels) and I told him there was no worries. As he started to walk out, I said, ‘Hey, has anyone told you how insanely cute you are?”
He gave me this really shocked look and said, “No, thank you!” It was the cutest thing ever.
After, “confessing”, if you will, how I felt about him, I left on a trip to Disneyland, so I didn’t go to the gym for about a week. When I returned yesterday, he was sitting at his desk and when he saw me, he shot up and began to workout around my area and kept checking to see if I was watching…
NOW, I keep asking my friends what to do now. I mean, I’ve told him how I feel, am I supposed to wait for him to talk to me? If he is interested, that is, which I have a gut feeling he is, or else I would have NEVER told him he was cute lol.
Another thing I think about is, are gym employees under a certain rule of “no hitting on girls/guys or asking them out while on the clock?”
Like, some people could see it as sexual harrasment..
But I don’t! :) My friends tell me to ask him to help me with a certain machine, weights, etc. That guys love that. What do I do? Wait? He’s adorable! And he looks at me! LOL
Talllady
This man is capable of finding you. Please stop chasing him. Yes, he may have a rule, so if he is in your area,mast hello, and ask how his day is etc, but let him lead…
Misia
No, please, not the gym guy. Yes, I am sure they have rules like that. No flirting with customers. He would need to make the effort to get in touch outside of work. You gave him enough of a hint. No more!
Ali
Wow for someone who is shy around guys, that was a pretty bold move! just saying hi and introducing yourself would’ve been enough I think… But now the ball is definitley in his court. You’ve totally given him the green light, so anything more than that would be too desperate. He should be the one to approach you now and start up a convo. I’d be hesitant to develop too much of a crush on this guy. You don’t know anything about him. He could be flirting it up with a lot of girls. For now just enjoy the eye candy and the motivation it provides to go to the gym.
Allison
Yeah, I would agree with the other girls. A similar situation happened to me, except he was my trainer. He was to give me two free session because of new membership but he did 5! I thought nothing of it until one of my friends joined me and pointed out that he seemed interested. Of course, he was beyond handsome, so I got excited cause we got along great!
In my case, i never gave any hint to being interested. He would text me “to check up” and then we’d text for hours. He made the some effort but never asked me on a date. Unfortunately for him because he never made a move, few weeks later I became exclusive with my now boyfriend. When he saw us working out, he backed off, and hardly will even say hi to me now.
Moral of the story, just take a few steps back. These guys are handsome as hell (for the most part) so I feel you on being excited about it, but if he’s interested, let him make the move (he will find a way if he really wants to) otherwise its going to be awkward going to the gym.
Ivy
Well, I have a slightly different opinion. If he finds you very attractive and perhaps even his ideal in terms of looks then he will not see your compliment as chasing. So I would say that at this point you just smile at him and that is enough of his green light at this point. I say this b/c even gym guy has a type of girl that he will get nervous for but he does have enough to now try to ask you out, though according to work policy not sure how that would happen.
My aunt said to her husband the first time they met “you have eyes like God”, well they were together ever since 40 years. And my cousin looks like a supermodel so when she worked with a guy she liked she had to ask him out cause she is so gorgeous that he was too intimidated to take the first move. They are married and have two kids now.
Now neither women chased, but my point is that if a woman is a man’s ideal, she can certainly give a big flirt and it will work out. If she isn’t the ideal then the man may just be flattered or see it as too forward.
Sometimes women get too much into the chasing theories.
Dulce
Thank you girls, for all your help! I definitely agree with “gym guy probably flirts with other girls” and “the ball is in his court”. I’m going to just smile and say hello and if he is interested, he will pursue!
Harley
Ar you doing multiple posts ?? The guy following you around campus ??? because if so, your life is seriously messed up. Report campus guy to dean of faculty, get a barring order. Seek professional help.
Dulce
Harley, my life isn’t messed up, it’s actually fantastic. And it’s a forum, lol is multiple posts an issue?
Lane
Hi Dulce.
It OK to post a different problem as this and the other were unrelated and trying how to deal with them.
With you’re gym guy, I agree that they most likely sign a contract that they won’t engage with clients and employees too. A lot of companies are doing this ensure they maintain a positive brand and aren’t taken to court for obvious reasons should it not work out.
As to the ex. 1) Video him using your phone when he harasses you and report it to the campus police so they can create a record of it; 2) Talk to the teacher after class and tell him/her that you broke up and if he calls you out in front of the class request the teacher put a stop it immediately and report it if he doesn’t; and 3) take with administration or a counselor and request that if the both of you are enrolled in the same class that you be informed so you can transfer to one on a different day or time.
Hope this helps.
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