tomorrow my ex and I exchange our stuff :(


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This topic contains 26 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Honest 3 weeks, 5 days ago.

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  • #379284 Reply

    maggie

    I am so sad. I have had a rough go with my recent break up. However, after a month my ex finally contacted me and we agreed that I would come and pick up my stuff tomorrow. It’s the first time I talked to him in weeks. I’m devestated. Neither of us wanted to break up, but have hit a impass. So here we are, broken up. Please someone share their stories of strength with me, I need it.



    #379294 Reply

    Harley

    Just be cool , calm and collected……….. on the outside anyway.

    Don’t get into convo or discussion.

    Make it QUICK. Don’t stop for tea/coffee or chat. Let him miss you.

    Wish him the best.

    IF/WHEN he asks to stay in touch, say you need some space right now, that you are sure he understands that ! leave him thinking and wondering whether he made the right decision.

    NEVER want a man that does NOT want you !

    YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS.

    #379304 Reply

    maggie


    Thank you Harley. It was actually the first time I have heard his voice in so long. You know? And right now, I feel the pain. I am so afraid of what tomorrow will bring.

    #379310 Reply

    Harley

    Yup………… don’t think I could bear to hear the vice. Would cry my eyes out. rather you than me………….but it has to be done.

    Just try NOT TO CRY……….think horrid, evil thoughts !

    Get IN and OUT ASA.

    Good luck.

    #379311 Reply

    Harley


    ASAP

    #379315 Reply

    maggie

    Yes, I will definitely heed your advice. He was very business like on the phone. So, the call was probably only 30 seconds. I knew better than to talk anymore and sensed he knew I felt that way too. It just totally sucks that this happened cause, we were fine up to this stupid argument.

    #379321 Reply

    Harley

    You can’t go backward.

    Only forward.

    a 30second call………….means he’s not ready to talk. YOU will make things worse if you do call.

    get your stuff… GO NC for minimum 30 days.. better 60 or 90.

    Time brings clarity.

    Stop feeling sorry for yourself.. it’s happened, over………..just be brave tomorrow.. go back to feeling sorry for yourself the day after. Then………take it from there.

    #379323 Reply

    maggie

    Ok. Yeah, he has been a lil short with me and kinda mean, the little conversation we have had. So I realize that he’s probably hurting just as bad. I guess time will reveal things cause I don’t know how I will feel in that time, but I am sure I will start to feel better. Thank you Harley.

    #379375 Reply

    maggie

    Help, I am feeling a lil distraught. My day has been pretty shitty cause of my exes call. Then his old lady neighbor from across the street called me. She is like his adopted grandma. We talked and she admitted to me that she knew my ex and I had broken up but that my ex told her the reason is we had a disaggrement and agreed to disagree. Then that he’s just been quiet but that she knew something was wrong. So, we had a nice conversation. Then my little sisters boyfriend is friends with my ex. My sister called me tonight to tell my my ex just got off the phone with her bf and they talked about me coming over to pick up my stuff. My ex saying he didn’t understand, cause he said he’d bring everything, does she realize how much stuff is here…etc. just had more of a conversation with my sis bf. Then my sis said my ex told her bf that he just wants to get it done and over with so he can move on. So, I immediately got really hurt and upset cause, well first I do want to move on too, but second why cant he tell me these things? I got the sense from my sis that my ex was panicking cause he was going to have to see and interact with me. I just find this behavior so odd. So now I am thinking and wondering should I even go or arrange for my ex to bring it? I just figured it was the mature adult thing to do…help?

    #379407 Reply

    Harley

    He doesn’t have to tell you anything. You are OVER.

    STOP……….interacting with friends and family………it’s too hard now.

    STOP……….overthinking.

    CONTROL YOURSELF…………. you sound like you are having a meltdown. You really need to get a grip of yourself here.

    Leave the original arrangements stand.

    DID you reply to his messages ?? What did he say ???

    #379429 Reply

    maggie

    Hi Harley, I did have a meltdown last night. It was just all too much. I talked to him, heard his voice, for the first time in weeks. Then his neighbor called me. Then my sis told me what she told me. It all culminated into me feeling like I was last night. So, my post was a coping thing.

    I feel better right now, but we will see how the day unfolds. Today I see him to get my stuff.

    I was just upset because he really hasn’t talked to me at all…..not even that we were breaking up. Kinda took the most cowardly approach.

    #379433 Reply

    Claire

    Hi Maggie,

    Can someone mutual collect the stuff for you? I think seeing him will upset you too much. You’re in a fragile state right now and should try and avoid seeing or speaking to him until you are a lot stronger. Obviously it’s upto you but that’e my opinion. I just think it will really upset you and you could do without it. xx

    #379437 Reply

    maggie

    Hi Caire, yes my sisters bf can. I really was ok. Until I realized he is not. I got the sense that he is feeling the same. But the thing is, I don’t think my ex knows all I have at his house, further, I wont be able to get it all in my suv. I guess my bf told my sis bf this yesterday. What really pisses me off is my ex told him, not me. Like, seriously, let’s be adults about this, tell me that you know I won’t be able to fit it all, you know?

    #379438 Reply

    Harley

    Maggie………..it was probably just a ” lads thing “, talking man to man,and…….. he’s doing you a favour by not talking.

    Stop thinking about all.FOCUS…all you NEED to do……..is get your stuff back

    If you can……..have someone else pick it up.

    Let time take care of the breakup.

    #379441 Reply

    maggie

    Yeah, I may think about letting someone else. I just wanted to get all of I could so I could move on.

    #379556 Reply

    maggie

    He is on his way over!! Change of plans.

    #379557 Reply

    Harley

    Say hello with a smile

    let him start convo and talk

    listen.. don’t interrupt

    don’t feel pressured to answer.. tell him you will think about whatever he says and get back to him in a few days

    do not cry, get clingy, sound insecure

    be calm.. sgree the breakup is a good idea…. it’s reverse phsycology

    #379559 Reply

    Carrie

    Maggie…stay strong. Do not give in to your emotions. Remember this is just a step to take to a better place, whatever that may be. Also, agree to the breakup. Lots of love from me to you.

    #379561 Reply

    Stefanie

    Hang tough Maggie!!! You’re going to get through this!!!!!

    #379648 Reply

    maggie

    Welp, he did come over. I felt like it went realitively well. He did bring his young nephew (12 years old) and a friend. So I thought that was weird. See, he did change plans on me, guess he didn’t want me to come over, but that’s fine. I just knew I had more stuff he didn’t even realize I had. So anyway, back to my story. He did not say hi, barely looked at me. It was weird. We’ve been together 2 years. I said hello to his nephew, and he acted weird too. But seriously girls, I was so freaking peachy keen and nice, you would have been proud. I did ask my neighbor next door to watch. He’s a cool guy but has a girlfriend :(. Anyway, so my ex and his people were bringing me all of my stuff. I have to say I was impressed that my ex had it all packed up and such. I mean, I thought that was awefuly nice. Then all was done, he walked up to me and said, “do you have my key?” I said, “yes sir it’s right here.” handed it to him. Then as he went to walk away, I go, “um, what about the cable bill that was due?” He said he’d pay it when transfered. I said, I already initiated the transfer yesterday, asked them to keep it on at his house until today when I have to activate it. He said, I will log on and pay, ’cause that’s how he used to and I thought, okay. Then he stood there, looked me in my eyes and I swear he leaned a little towards me, almost like he wanted to hug me good bye, but he stopped. So, as he was walking out of my gate/fence, Freudian slip, I said, goodbye to him and called him by my pet name for him, then corrected myself and said his name. But he couldn’t get in his truck fast enough. So, that sort of sucked. But 5 mins later he sent me a text that said he paid the cable. And sure enough he did. I was like, “what a decent freaking guy.” My parents came over for moral support, I had felt so much better, and even better that maybe he and I could find our way to each other again someday. So, I play a game and it is through facebook, and so does the ex. I logged onto the app of my game (because I’ve been very mindful about not getting on social media) and I no longer saw his face. We always played together. Then it hit me, he must of defriended me. Sure enough girls, I logged onto Facebook and he defriended me. Now, he did not block me, but he defriended me. I was just like, you know what, whatever, be like that. My guy neighbor and I talked and even my neighbor said, “wow, you can tell he is really hurt.” So, Idk. At this time, that was all I needed to move on and I seriously still feel that way. Something hit me after that act, I was like, I am going to be okay and I will find someone better. And I now I will. I just don’t get all of that game playing bs of ending things like he did. So, his loss really. It actually helped me.

    That’s my story girls!

    #379659 Reply

    Stefanie

    Maggie, so glad to hear you got through this OK!!! Good going!!! You must be so happy it’s over. You held up really, really well.

    #379667 Reply

    maggie

    I know, it’s odd. I kinda am. I’m kinda excited about the future. Now, that’s not to say I won’t have my moments. Like the am, I have been waking up feeling terrible. The past 3 days leading up to this have been hell as I haven’t eaten, my stomach was a wreck, I even felt extreme guilt for hurting my ex. Then after he dropped everything off, man, it just felt good. I cannot even believe, I still feel good. Although I am afraid of what tomorrow will bring, but I think I’ll be okay. Got this great attitude. Realized I also have a great support system. This site and the completely supportive people who have been kind enough to read my post and offer advice, my family and friends. I am so lucky.

    #379673 Reply

    Carrie

    Well done Maggie! Now the real healing begins…it’s only once all the cords have been cut that you go through the process of figuring out whether you want to create new cords. Tomorrow is a brand new day and a brand new opportunity to do things better. SO proud of you:)

    #379692 Reply

    Harley

    Yup. …well handled. best of luck with the recovery.

    #379749 Reply

    maggie


    Morning, or at least it is for me. Yeah, I am absolutly suprised I still kinda feel okay. I suppose I was a little taken aback when he unfriended me, but he has proven to be immature so I expected it I guess.

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