To pay towards pet upkeep or not

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This topic contains 16 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Jens 9 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #653691 Reply


    Just recently moved in with my partner. We discussed finances and how we would split them before i moved in, however we didnt discuss his pets. I just assumed that because they’re his pets then they’re his responsibility. However once i moved in i discovered that i’m expected to pay half the food bill for them. Im a bit annoyed and unsure if i should or not. If it was the other way round i would not expect him to pay half for any pet i had..what do you ladies think? What would you do?

    #653692 Reply


    Splitting hairs isn’t it? Are you feeding elephants?

    #653701 Reply


    L has a point. How much does this pet food cost? Are you guys living paycheck to paycheck?

    Would you consider him to be a good pet owner….pets are trained and regularly vaccinated and bathed?

    #653719 Reply


    They’re horses…and im not well off. He has a much better job than me

    #653787 Reply


    That is different, horses (and you said horses, meaning more than one), that is way different than one small dog. Of course you were under the assumption that he would be covering those expenses.

    He had them before he met you. His idea to have them. Why should you have to pay half for something you had no choice in. Makes a big difference that the pets are horses.

    Have the conversation and talk as a mature couple. You had no idea that the talk about splitting the bills meant that you cover half of “his” pets. I can understand and be annoyed too, that he would assume that I had to be responsible for half of that big expense.

    #653789 Reply


    I have friends with horses. The upkeep is a small fortune. I think it takes a lot of nerve that he expects you to pay ANYTHING towards them.


    He would have them whether you are in the picture or not. I would not supply any of the costs on that.

    #653791 Reply


    Does he want you living with him because he wants a relationship with YOU?

    Or does he mostly want a woman around, and especially someone to help with the bills?

    Does he buy you gifts? and pay when you go out? or do you split most things? is he generous with his affection?

    #653797 Reply


    Is he always this sneaky?

    #653799 Reply


    Horses don’t qualify as pets, they are far more than that. Horse riding is a serious hobby due to the cost and time required.

    He shouldn’t be assuming you will split the cost for his hobby. That’s a rather odd and large assumption. Do you ride the horses at all?

    #653803 Reply


    I agree, sounds like he wants a roommate to pay bills. Not a relationship with someone he loves.

    To be fair, you didn’t give any background, so Anne’s questions are VERY relevant and in need of reflection.

    If the answer to those questions are NO…YES…NO…NO..YES…NO then this is not someone I’d live with or even date.

    #653820 Reply


    What? He makes way more money than you and he wants you to pay for his horses. HELL NO. This is more than enough to make me question the whole relationship. In general, the male keepers (the mr rights) go out of their way to pay for the majority of things in a relationship, expect maybe rent. This is especially so when he makes more money.

    You need to first refuse to pay, and second reevaluate the relationship.

    #653822 Reply


    Amen Amanda

    #653823 Reply


    Yeah I wouldn’t be paying for horses. Nothing to do with you. You’re already helping him financially by living together you’re cutting down his outgoings (unless he already had roommates before?) Horses are not pets, he cannot expect you to take on that responsibility. No one would disagree with that.

    #653839 Reply


    Key piece of data we are missing before we sign his death warrant, LOL… is she riding the horses at all? I find it odd that someone would expect their main squeeze to pick up half the cost of the feed if she has nothing to do with the horses. If that is the case, and he is making a lot more than you, then end this relationship and get out of there. I’m just wondering if we are missing some of the story.

    #653858 Reply


    Horses are livestock. If you are not the owner of a commercial venture that lists these horses as property, you are not responsible for their feed.

    #653866 Reply


    I do think we are missing part of the story, but even if she rides the horses on occasion it would still be ridiculous to ask her to pay. Only if she makes use of them regularly and as much as him would any payment be warranted. And even then, it should not be a split. It is still his decision to keep the horses, AND he makes more money.

    #653867 Reply


    I agree Tiff… i’m just trying to figure out his logic or some reason for his behaviour. It’s weird behaviour to make a lot more money, keep horses and then with no discussion about it upon moving in, hit her with half the bill for their feed.

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