This topic contains 11 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Phillygirl 8 months ago.
June 18, 2017 at 8:02 pm #635222
I was married for the past like 5 years or so and got separated a while ago. I’m 33.
I don´t get out much, so I don´t meet new people on a regular basis.
A friend of mine recommended I gave tinder a try.
Within the first few days, I met this guy. Let´s call him Fred.
SO, he was super sweet at first, and texted constantly. Whe set up a date, and he flaked on me. And that went on a couple of times, until I got bored and told him to stop texting me.
Like 2 weeks later, he hits me up with a complete bootie call message, like at 6 am. I don’t remember exactly what he wrote, but I remember that was the feeling I got.
I texted him like 2 days later. Please don’t judge me, It’s just I Liked Fred at first.
We exchangex texts for a couple of days, and set up a date.
HE STOOD ME UP.
I basically, told him to leave me alone.
Like 3 weeks later, he texts me all of a sudden saying things like “I acted like a jerk” “I really want to get to know you” and so on.
Two days later, I found out my ex had a new gf, so in my deppressed state of mind, I texted fred.
He was super sweet as first, as usual. We actually met (huh, by this time I wasn´t even sure he would ever actually show his face.
Not much happen, we kinda kissed and walked around the street like teens.
He was sweet for a couple of days after that, he texted like he could imagine us together, and blah blah. But then, when it was time to meet again, he sort of lost interest.
So I am not really sure of what is going on, but it´s like the third time this guy playes games with me…
I told him i got tired, and he should never text me again
and then he goes like “can I know why I should never text you?”. Like why would he even want to continue the conversation if he´s not interested?
Is he married?
Is tinder only like this? Like all chat?
And plus I am made because he always gets me to like him again even after he’s been nothing but rude.June 18, 2017 at 8:06 pm #635223
When you are sick enough of the headache, you will stop banging your head against the wall. But until you get sick of it, no point in complaining. No one is forcing you to bang your head against the wall.June 18, 2017 at 8:11 pm #635224
If a guy cancelled on me even once in the early stages of dating it’d be “BYE FELICIA!”
Have you honestly been out of the dating game so long that you’re willing to put up with ANYTHING? As it’s better than nothing?
If so, maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t be dating yet. Not until you get your self-esteem back…June 18, 2017 at 8:39 pm #635225
I can’t get past a 30 plus women who keeps using the word ‘like’ I all her sentences,June 18, 2017 at 8:54 pm #635228
You sound like a gullible teenager. Block the guy or are you too desperate for any sort of attention even when it’s negative? Everybody knows Tinder is mostly a hook up site.June 18, 2017 at 9:27 pm #635237
I would work on your self-esteem and boundaries before you get back into the dating world. If you continue this way you will find yourself getting constantly used and hurt by men. I don’t know if it’s post-divorce depression but it’s clear you need to work on yourself before you think about dating. You should never, ever, accept disrespect from any man and you shouldn’t accept flakiness ever. Learn to not tolerate these sorts of things or else you will end up alone and used. Also, tinder is the worst possible suggestion, most dating apps are a joke and majority of the time ARE used just for hook ups and flakey guys like this, not serious relationships. If you want to use an online dating service then use the reputable and mature ones.June 18, 2017 at 9:31 pm #635239
You can do better than what you described.
This goes on because you let it.
If you stop and chat with a little decent man, you would not be writing.
Don’t forget ; it is you. Not him, he got what he looks for.June 18, 2017 at 9:46 pm #635240
Hey L, You always hit the nail on the head with your funny comments. Your girlfriend, boyfriend, and all your other lovers must be proud of you. Some people DO need to be hit on the head to knock some sense into them, lol. Even then, it usually doesn’t work.June 19, 2017 at 1:11 am #635254
Agree with above comment. ^^^ L says what the rest of us are thinking.June 19, 2017 at 1:51 am #635256
Thanks for all your replies.
I will try to take your advice, regarding the dating situation.
As for the constant use of the word “like”, i don’t really mind.
English is not my motherlanguage and I don’t speak it on a daily basis, so the fact that that’s what you critizice about my English still feels like a compliment 😉June 19, 2017 at 8:26 am #635286
What’s worse, is that what I said had more of an impact on the OP than any of the great advice you all shared. Like what?June 19, 2017 at 10:59 am #635335
Tinder is mainly a hookup site. In other words most men on there are ONLY looking for casual sex, and many are already in relationships looking to cheat.
I agree you need to work on your self esteem and boundaries before you date. Anyone who stands you up once DOES NOT get a second chance.
You are not ready to online date. Many, if not most guys on those site ls are dating multiple women. Which you should do-date many different men until one earns exclusivity with you, by being the most worthy and best man for you.
That does NOT mean sleeping with multiple men. Just so you know, most of the guys multi-dating are sleeping with multiple women. Be smart and protect yourself first and foremost.
But you can’t do that until intentionally you improve your self esteem and learn to love and respect yourself first