the guy came back to offer me a relationship after 2 months of no contact


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice the guy came back to offer me a relationship after 2 months of no contact

This topic contains 29 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Hannah 4 weeks ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 1 through 25 (of 30 total)
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  • #694150 Reply

    HONEY

    i blocked him on everything he contacted me through another number. should i accept him?

    #694152 Reply

    HONEY

    i just don’t understand why, im cautious about it too

    #694154 Reply

    WHY

    Words mean absolutely NOTHING at this stage. If he treated you badly before (disrespectfully, rude, ignorant, or any type of physical or emotional abuse) its a hard NO.

    Even if he didn’t, be wary. If he’s serious, he has to consistently prove over several months (BOTH words and actions have to sync) that he’s a changed man deserving of you.

    Anything less than that gets the immediate boot.

    #694155 Reply

    HONEY

    hes never treated me badly he just said he wasn’t ready then now he is. we have texting each other since monday so far hes been communicating well. i agree to him saturday to accept i just wanna make sure im doing the right thing

    #694156 Reply

    HONEY

    now that im not asking for a relationship he wants too. he’s asking me for something serious.

    #694157 Reply

    HONEY

    if i ask him why now ill just sound insecure thats why im here

    #694158 Reply

    peggy

    Honey-give him a chance if you like but be clear about what you want and what he is pffering…make sure his actions match his words.

    #694159 Reply

    WHY

    Ask him what has changed-before you waste any more time on him. It will not make you look insecure, only BEING insecure will make you look insecure.

    A strong, confident woman doesn’t allow anyone to waste her time. She asks a man like this exactly why he deserves another chance, and makes him prove it.

    If he is flaky or unsure in any way, you stop wasting time right then. And if he offers a good explanation, he’s still on probation for several months until he proves he’s consistent and sincere.

    Many guys try to come back with promises when all they want is sex or to see how long you will put up with their BS. You deserve someone who isn’t playing games.

    Make him sweat (earn it).

    #694160 Reply

    Emma

    You did NOT ask him why now?? How dos it make you insecure? It is strange not to ask this question. He pops up into your life after months of no contact and boom, asks for a relationship, and you don’t even ask what happened?

    Make sure you find out the story. Chances are he was dumped by someone else..

    If he is serious he will understand you are cautious, he will take it slow, respect your pace, and you will have time to test him and his feelings and intentions.

    #694162 Reply

    Anne

    Well he certainly didn’t have to try very hard. Slow with the texting,. Be cool, don’t suddenly turn your world around at the chance of a possible boyfriend.

    Let him see that you are cool as is, he may enhance, or maybe not. Don’t be too eager

    #694163 Reply

    Hannah

    Ask him what’s changed. Give him a chance to prove himself but make him work for it a bit. So no home dates, he has to take you out and make an effort. Tell him he has to prove he’s being genuine.

    If that’s too much for him, he’s not interested in being serious is he?

    #694164 Reply

    Anne

    I personally wouldn’t question him much. Mainly because I don’t believe or take what people say as the complete story. Then you will go home and ponder what he said, and analyze it.

    Use your guts, smarts , intuition, etc. Don’t be gullible.

    Act like you don’t care what his story is, either he’s good enough for you or not. You retain the power.

    Don’t be real interested in deep conversations for now.

    #694165 Reply

    HONEY

    the only thing i asked him was has he dated anyone he said no

    #694166 Reply

    HONEY

    i agree im taking his word of a man hes never given me a reason to doubt him

    #694167 Reply

    Anne

    Questioning him is giving an opportunity for him to sweet talk and give you what you want to hear.

    Don’t put yourself in the position where you wait, until he says the right thing, having already fallen for him.

    Keep some mystery and excitement in the deal, don’t text a lot.

    It’s not about him saying the right thing, it’s about is he really a compatible man? Do people like and trust him? Is he kind, thoughtful? Obviously, it takes a yaer for a person’s real personality to come out.

    #694168 Reply

    WHY

    You aren’t being smart about this. He has done NOTHING so far to prove anything to you.

    Your eagerness is obvious. It seems you want to badly to have him back you’re jumping in without any evidence anything has changed.

    You really need to slow down and make him earn your time. Don’t interrogate the guy. Just ask him “why now, what’s changed”?

    If he gives some half witted thoughtless answer, you need to cut if off.

    #694171 Reply

    Hannah

    If you don’t ask him, you’ll come across as a doormat who lets him back in your life with no questions. Actually you’ll sound secure, confident and like a woman who won’t be messed around if you do ask him.

    How many men do you imagine wouldn’t ask questions if the woman dumped them and disappeared for a few months? Would you find it insecure if they asked questions? No! You’d find it normal and what a discerning person would do.

    No one should just let someone in and out of their lives when that person feels like it.

    Of course don’t take his word to be gospel, You listen to what he has to say and decide if it sounds genuine.

    #694173 Reply

    HONEY

    im not eager he reached out to me ive known this man for over 6 months . ive been doing my own thing . it feels right this time.and i also didn’t want a relationship then i just told him i won’t have sex with him unless where in a relationship

    #694176 Reply

    HONEY

    true ill ask him that on saturday before i accept him . i don’t i should do it through text

    #694177 Reply

    HONEY

    i set my boundaries before we stopped talking i told him im about to be 35 and im not goung to be anyones sex buddy

    #694178 Reply

    Danita

    I have accepted a guy back once and it was a mistake. I wouldn’t repeat that now. I would probably be too suspicious to let him close. I agree that there is a possibility that he is back, because someone else dumped him.

    #694182 Reply

    HONEY

    i have accepted him back because he wa never anything more than a friend then we never even kissed we just spen time as friends . hes a good looking msn im sure he has options too thats why i believe him too

    #694183 Reply

    HONEY

    his last relationship was about 2 years ago

    #694187 Reply

    WHY

    6 months? That means nothing, it’s certainly not even a substantial amount of time . I’m betting he’s back for sex, he knows you won’t sleep with him without a relationship, so he just said what he needs to, to get what he wants.

    #694190 Reply

    Hannah

    Well give him the benefit of the doubt if he works to regain your trust. If you don’t want casual sex, you do want a relationship.

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