Speechless #WTF


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This topic contains 16 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Anon 4 weeks ago.

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  • #656118 Reply

    Madison

    Hi All,

    I am a 31 (F) dating a 37(M) for the last three and a half months consistently. He has been a bachelor his entire life, never married, extremely good looking, comes from a solid upbringing, good family. He has never mentioned his feelings but has been consistent with his actions, asking me out at least 2 times a week on dates (dinner, concerts etc). We are also sleeping together.

    What is going on? Would a guy continue to see a girl this long if he was NOT serious?

    Thanks!

    #656119 Reply

    Jules

    Would a guy continue to see a girl this long if he was NOT serious?

    Sure he would. I mean look at it this way—at the worst your sex and occasional companionship. At the best, he just hasn’t expressed his feelings yet and he does see commitment in your collective futures.

    This is why it’s important in the very beginning to ask what someone is looking for? What is their purpose for dating? It helps prevent situations like this were your months in and completely lost as to whether this is leading to something or not.

    The short answer is, ask him.

    #656120 Reply

    Emma

    3.5 months is not that long but why are you asking what’s going on as if something is wrong? Good that he is asking you out isn’t it? You are 31, he is 37, things match well, then enjoy and don’t spoil it.

    He is at an age where most guys would want to settle down, so he most likely is assessing you as a serious long term potential. This is natural to assume but only he knows what he wants of course LOL

    Enjoy the good times and don’t overthink. LOL

    #656124 Reply

    redcurleysue

    I would enjoy for another five to six months and then evaluate where you two are.

    That is what I would do.

    #656125 Reply

    Holly

    Why is this a WTF question? Did he tell you now he’s not serious? And yes, guys can date women they like for years without being serious about marrying her or committing long term.

    #656128 Reply

    peggy

    Hi-give him a bit more time-a month or so. Then,if you have no clue,find out by asking. Use your intuition,if things don’t feel like they are progressing,they likely are not. Just a tip to those newly dating-avoid this situation,as the others said,by talking about what your dating goals are,early on and see if his match. Nothing has to sound like a serious/big discussion. Something like ” Just so you know,I don’t do “casual” in any area of my life-so with dating,I am hoping to find the right person for a serious,long term relationship”…etc.,etc.

    #656129 Reply

    Sandy

    How long have you guys been dating exclusively? If it’s already 3.5 months, I think you should ask him where is this going.

    #656133 Reply

    Lane

    If your looking for a temporary companion he sounds like a perfect candidate. If your dating to find a husband he would not be. Some men are perfectly happy being a bachelor and if he’s not asking yiu questions or brining up theses tooics then he’s not thinking of settling down. A man looking for a potential. wife wouldn’t be wasting time with a lady unless he sees her as “the one’.

    #656135 Reply

    Amanda

    Ask him.

    #656137 Reply

    Lane

    Correction “wouldn’t be wasting time with a lady unless your “the one’ where he would be making darn sure he doesn’t lose you to another man and would make sure you know so not to risk losing you.” If he doesn’t care then he’s not going to progress in any meaningful way.

    #656146 Reply

    Lisa

    If he is very good looking, then he might be a bit spoiled by women and attention in general through his life.

    I wouldn’t go exclusive with him yet,
    but i would enjoy his dates, like you do.

    I would be rather mysterious about whether i’m seeing someone else or not.
    Not always cancelling everything else when he asks you out.

    Don’t go exclusive until he initiates a talk or asks you about exclusivity.

    #656149 Reply

    HoneyBB

    This “be mysterious” stuff is so silly. It’s transparent. And to a good guy, it’s off putting. People can smell games miles away.

    #656158 Reply

    Phillygirl

    I don’t understand the WTF in this question either. Some men just love the company of women but never want to settle down.

    Especially good looking successful ones who have their pick.

    If he isn’t progressing things and looking to spend more quality time with other you outside the bedroom, I doubt he’s serious.

    That’s exactly why I state my dating intentions up front, and walk if a guy just wants casual.

    #656180 Reply

    Hannah

    What’s his relationship history? He’s never married but has he had long term relationships, lived with anyone, been in love etc?

    If the answer is no, there’s nothing WTF about this. He’s been happily casually dating for 20 years and it’s unlikely to have been a new girl every week. You can be causal with someone for years.

    I think you need to have the talk before you waste too much time on this man.

    #656184 Reply

    Aida

    Why are you speechless?

    #656395 Reply

    Niva

    yeah, why are you speechless? the title of the post indicates something more serius

    #656410 Reply

    Anon

    You are already providing free sex and he is paying for dates I hope.

    So you can ask a few months later , but you will lose a few more months to wait on him to decide your fate.

    I don’t think you really like him , because you sound like relationship, then boyfriend , then husband.

    He is not thinking that way likely, plus you did not have conversation before sex.

    So, you don’t have much negotiating room. I would at least ask his timeline for a wife, if he does not have one. You are at least informed with your future likelihood

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