Should I call him or give space?


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  • #894053 Reply
    Marie

    I’ve been seeing a guy for a short time sort of casual. We were together last night he called me and asked me to go out. We had a great time and slept together. He left this morning but asked me before leaving to meet in the night maybe and what were my plans for the day. I told him I will hang out with friends but will be home at night if he wants to hang out. He said he’ll call me later if he doesn’t go out. I’m not sure if I should write him and confirm we can meet or wait for him to call. I believe giving people space is healthy but my friends told me I could drop him casually a message and ask his plans. I don’t want to do that as it may seem like a gf and we’ve only been to a few dates. We slept together already many times. I know he isn’t shy or something cause when he wants to see me he texts and calls in advance. We reunited only recently as he’s living in another country but apparently he returned back for a while. Another factor that makes me treats this casually is I know he’s leaving again in September but we’ve got a good thing going on, we like each other a lot and when we get together it’s always intense and fun and we talk for hours about lots of things.

    #894066 Reply
    Lane

    Since this is casual, you can reach out if you need clarification, however, he clearly told you he would contact you IF he was going to go out tonight. So you really shouldn’t reach out as he made a ‘tentative plan’ (may, may not) whereas, he will notify you when he knows if he wants to go out, or not. You really shouldn’t re-clarify something that has already been stated, as that will become annoying if you do it too much.

    The ball is in his court, let him decide if he wants to toss it your way if he decides he wants to go out, if not, probably won’t hear from him. Make other plans if you don’t like being limbo with those who make ‘tentative plans.’

    #894068 Reply
    Marie

    I agree with you actually wouldn’t make sense to text and ask him since he can call if he wants to hang out. It’s more simple than I thought.

    #894096 Reply
    Raven

    Well… Do you want to sit idle at home in chance he might/might not call?

    #894270 Reply
    Marie

    We talked in the evening in the end and he said he got some plans for the night but we can meet up in the following days. I simply replied its all cool, have fun.

    #894326 Reply
    tammy

    i think if i was in your place i wld have simply messaged him erly on and asked him. as you say its just a casual and friendly thing so why think so much abt such a small thing?

    #894917 Reply
    Marie

    Because he told me that he really likes me and that I’m an amazing woman. Whenever we have sex he stares deep in my eyes after but then we don’t really talk or communicate till the next time we see each other. He is texting me every two days to meet up but I know this has expiration date so I’m trying to not fall for him and keep it casual. I left my bra at his car last night accidentally but haven’t texted him about it. I guess he’ll give it to me next time.

    #895312 Reply
    Erin

    Uh oh, it seems like you’re catching up feelings for this guy.

    As someone wiser once said, if you’re in a casual hookup with a man, the only thing you should contact him about is for your ‘Di*k Appointment’. That’s the only time y’all should vibe.

    What he does, who he does, what he’s thinking when he’s not with you, shouldn’t be your concern, as long as he doesn’t give you an STD, meaning you have to protect yourself too.

    Of course he will tell you, you’re an amazing woman, he finds you attractive, otherwise you wouldn’t have be having this shindig if that wasn’t the case. But don’t let it go to your head.

    Most guys tend to look at you when they’re sexing you to see if you’re enjoying the the experience and see your reactions, it’s a turn on for them.

    Just don’t take things to mean more than they do. This is casual for you both. It’s not that deep.

    #895380 Reply
    Marie

    He’s also taking me out on dates. I lead him at this stage, almost all the time apart from that text I sent once. Usually he contacts me with a plan. We don’t booty call each other or text only to hook up. It’s still casual as we don’t communicate in between, we text when we arranging dates. Last time we were together, he asked me if I had plans following days and he said he wanted us to meet up again maybe go for a dinner or cinema. This is the first time I’m laid back and don’t initiate much if not at all. I do like him but don’t know if he likes me that way too cause it’s too early and I’m enjoying getting to know him without rushing it. He looks at me with awe and two nights ago gave me my best orgasms so far I was screaming from pleasure and he got so excited started kissing me on the cheek saying how happy he was. Anyhow, everything should be taken within context and I stand by only fools rush in so I try to let it unfold naturally without forcing it or getting attached.

    #895465 Reply
    mama

    You said he’s leaving soon, so casual is best. The looking into eyes thing and the great sex — that’s not personal at all. That’s just how he has sex. I guess he’s really good at it — must have had a lot of practice. Sorry my dear.

    Again, you said he’s not here permanently. Put a hold on your heartstrings. ;)

    #895472 Reply
    Liz Lemon

    What mama and Lane said. Sometimes guys can be sweet, loving, and attentive precisely because it’s casual, and they know things aren’t going anywhere. They just live in the moment, and enjoy the moment. He’s leaving soon, this is not a permanent situation. Don’t read anything into the fact that he looks in your eyes during sex, kisses you, or says sweet things. Guys can do that even in a casual situation, it doesn’t mean they see a future with you.

    #895501 Reply
    Erin

    Personally, I think a lot of women really suck at this causal arrangement thing.

    I’ve seen a lot of girls here have the same issue, things start casual until they start catching feelings and reading too much into things. I guess sex causes a lot of women to feel confused and somehow amplify their feelings.

    I think that you ladies need to protect your hearts from unhappy endings. If you find yourself catching feelings then maybe you might want to consider it’s no longer casual for you and keep yourself in check or call the whole thing off.

    I once read a quote saying, someone you meet at the wrong time is just not the right person for you at that time, nomatter what it looks and feels like.

    Some of these casual relationships are just people settling and hoping things change or because they feel they won’t find someone as awesome.

    #895660 Reply
    Marie

    Last night we were out for wine, he said he wanted us to celebrate us dating, and I told him I thought we aren’t dating and he said but I love that I met you and getting to know you. Later in the evening he just told me “I love you” and asked me if i feel the same way and I told him yes. We haven’t talked about it again but after saying I love you the first time, he kept saying it to me when we kiss.

    #895698 Reply
    tammy

    lets hope things move ahead between you guys from this point on. all the best. :-)

    #895710 Reply
    Marie

    Thank you!! I hope that as well and even if it doesn’t progressed I’m experiencing so many new emotions that it’s fascinating feeling stuff. When and if it ends before something starts, well it’s life.

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