This topic contains 30 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Laurette 1 month, 1 week ago.
February 17, 2017 at 1:09 pm #603326
So its my crushes birthday and I want to reach out to tell him happy birthday. I want to say “happy birthday, hope your bday wish is about me! (smiley face) To me this sounds fun and cute
But my friend said that sounds slutty and like I’m giving off a sexual vibe and i look desperate.
I met him a few months ago and been hanging out a lot. He went to Miami with his boys and we do plan to celebrate his bday upon his return. So I don’t see anything wrong with that message. Does my friend have a point?February 17, 2017 at 1:14 pm #603331
If he isn’t actually dating you, I agree with your friend that it sounds pathetic.February 17, 2017 at 1:15 pm #603332
and it’s all about your needs..not him or his birthday
Hope you’re having a great time!
btw…men HATE emojisFebruary 17, 2017 at 1:19 pm #603334
Wow, the other posters are a bit harsh. I’d say you should get to know the guy more and find out if has any feelings for you, before you start flirting with him. It’s best to be cautious and not creep him out.February 17, 2017 at 1:21 pm #603336
Harsh? I really don’t think so. Women are so busy throwing themselves at men that are making NO effort, then come here and cry about their heartbreak.
If you learn to date smarter, you attract higher quality men and save yourself a ton of hurt and confusion!February 17, 2017 at 1:37 pm #603343
Yeah,don’t do it.February 17, 2017 at 1:39 pm #603345
Your friend sounds smart in these matters-listen to her.February 17, 2017 at 1:39 pm #603346
Do people older than 5 years old still make birthday wishes?February 17, 2017 at 1:44 pm #603351
L-I believe the official cut-off on that is 12.February 17, 2017 at 1:44 pm #603352
lolFebruary 17, 2017 at 1:50 pm #603356
I don’t think it sounds slutty exactly, but yeah, kind of desperate/attention seeking.
I’d go with “Happy Birthday Handsome”.
Direct, but casual. He’ll know you kinda like him, but you could also play it off as innocent and not meaning much if he doesn’t pick up the ball.
I did somehting similar with someone I was interested in once, and he got the hint. 😉February 17, 2017 at 2:02 pm #603360
Your Bday text can too easily be construed to be sexual.
And let’s face it, MOST red-blooded men will take it that way whether you meant it to be, or not.
I would err on the side of caution and not send anything that can be taken two ways.
Since this guy is a crush and not your BF, I would be careful to not lead with sex. Otherwise that is all you will get from him.February 17, 2017 at 2:05 pm #603361
We are dating and as I men tioned we hang out a lot, every weekend we do fun and adventurous stuff, and we talk 24/7 some nights he picks me up from work and drives me home. we both came out of bad relationships so we agreed to take it slow and really get to know each other before we take it to the next step. I think its safe to say that he likes me as its pretty obvious and I like him a lot too. If he doesnt like me then he should become an actor lol…February 17, 2017 at 2:07 pm #603363
If you are dating, I don’t even understand the question.February 17, 2017 at 2:08 pm #603364
I think the fact that she actually remembered his birthday is a ‘hint’
you can never go wrong with being short, sweet and direct.
works everytimeFebruary 17, 2017 at 2:09 pm #603366
If he is basically a bf I don’t understand why you are making this a big deal? Have you had sex with him? If so, then what is the issue about a sexy text? Women just love to create problems where there are none.February 17, 2017 at 2:10 pm #603367
And…if you are dating why did you call him your crush. Makes no senseFebruary 17, 2017 at 2:12 pm #603369
No I have not had sex with him yet! 90 day rule…I guess I see what some of you are saying. I just that sending that would be fun and cute but after my friend told me I sounded like a slut. it threw me off.February 17, 2017 at 2:15 pm #603370
@philly Dating, crush, its all in the same familyFebruary 17, 2017 at 2:16 pm #603371
I don’t think it made you a slut, but if you aren’t sleeping with him yet, don’t get him worked up into thinking something is gonna happen that isn’t.
Also, if you want a relationship and will be hurt if he sleeps with you and disappears, or ends it, don’t sleep with him.
The 90 day rule is stupid. The only rules should be the ones that align with your values and morals.
Sex does not bond a man to a woman. But most women bond to a man this way. So don’t have sex if you can’t handle casual outside of a relationship (and aren’t in one with him). Also I would never sleep with a man who is sleeping with others!February 17, 2017 at 2:18 pm #603372
Yes, calling him your ‘crush’ if you are actually dating is confusing.
I still think that unless you are exclusive, committed and ready to be sleeping with him your original text could take you into dangerous territory of sending the wrong message.
My other concern is:
does HE think you are dating?? You say you hang out a lot but to a guy that may not be dating.
What does HE think you two are doing??February 17, 2017 at 2:20 pm #603374
@phillygirl…good point on the 90 day rule, and I doubt he is sleeping with others.February 17, 2017 at 3:17 pm #603398
‘Doubt?’February 17, 2017 at 3:28 pm #603403
Hahaha, “Doubt” ruining relationships since 1982.
If you two have not discussed exclusivity, you are a fool if you believe anything without a conversation and monitoring his behavior.
Know how many women say they don’t believe their guy is sleeping around, but they never had the convo? And when the guy isn’t available or reaching out he just “couldn’t be with another woman”.
I’m not saying your guy IS. I am saying that making assumptions about this without confirming with him what page he is on, is beyond foolish. And a great path to your own hurt.
I know what a crush is, and I’ve never heard anyone refer to someone they are actually dating this way.
To me, a crush is someone who has NOT reciprocated your affection. Not trying to be a jerk, but your nomenclature is part of the reason you are getting the mixed responses you are.
One sounds like a guy you have a thing for that barely knows you exist, the other indicates a connection.February 17, 2017 at 3:37 pm #603407
Calling him a crush and someone you “hang out with” is very weird if you are dating. But he does believe he is taking you on dates right? Anyway if you are not ready to have sex don’t send that text.