Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › Sex with Ex – Any chance of getting back together?
- This topic has 12 replies and was last updated 5 years, 5 months ago by
Andrea.
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Ashley
I recently started hanging out with my ex again and we’ve thrown sex back into the mix. To keep it short,he broke up with me mid September. I did NCR for over a month, he came back around and asked if I was interested in getting drinks. Now we’ve hung out a handful of times since the breakup per his initiation. I recently traveled for the holiday season and he offered to take me to and from the airport. The last thing he told me is that he’s glad I’m back and wants to hang out again soon..does having sex screw up my chances of getting back with him?
Jen
Unless he says he wants to be your BF again,,, you just entered the world of fwb.
kaye
Does having sex screw up my chances of getting back with him? Well it doesn’t help!! Look at it this way…you want a new car. The dealership says you can test drive this car as long as you want without having to start making payments on it. If you can have the new car you want without any cost to you, then why would you commit to buying the car and making those payments?!? If you are giving him all the benefits of a relationship with you, including the sex, without having to commit to you, why wouldn’t he take that? Why would he turn down no strings sex?
When he came back around you should have asked his intentions. If he said he was ready to try again and was committed to a relationship with you, THEN you move forward. But you have left this ambiguous and just “hanging out” and you’re going to get hurt when you push for more and he leaves again.
Exactly why did you two break up in the first place?
L
Ashley if you continue as is without asking him what this means you may very well fall into the FWB arrangement. You had a relationship with this guy so asking him why he is back in your life would seem like the first plausible thing to do.
It seems very convenient that he broke up with you for whatever reason and now he is back without the commitment but soaking in the benefits.
Pauline
“The dealership says you can test drive this car as long as you want without having to start making payments on it. If you can have the new car you want without any cost to you, then why would you commit to buying the car and making those payments?!?”
Well said, I love this metaphor.
If you have feelings for him, you’ll get hurt. REALLY BAD.
Get out of here, fast!Jamie
Actually, I had sex with my ex who said at first he didn’t want to get back together and then we got back together.
BUT…he ended up wasting another couple of YEARS of my precious time. He was not the one.
Be careful what you wish for.
Newbie
I think you need a dose of phillygirl and her boundaries speech. He broke up with you, so you got dumped.
Then you use the non contact rule. Thats how you call it. Its not a rule, its a method to get the guy out of your head, not a tool to get him back. Yes sometimes that happens but only if a person really sees the light. And know they made a mistake letting you go. People are making millions of dollars with this nonsense theory. He didnt, he just wanted to hang out and the fact that he says he is happy youre back doesnt mean much.
I think you need to talk to him about what you want and if he doesnt want to, then stop wasting time on this guy. It sounds harsh but in the end it prevents you from finding the right man for youAshley
Hi everyone. Thanks for your replies. He broke up with me because he was overwhelmed by his feelings. He had just started school again full-time on top of working full-time. My plan is to talk about what we’re doing,talk somewhere outside of my apartment. Depending on his response,I’ll have more clarity around the situation. I know a lot of you say that I’ve basically ruined my chances of getting back with him because we had sex….but isn’t it equally possible for it to be more than sex? How can things be so black and white..
Peggy
Over whelmed by feelings of what-love for you or stress over work etc.? That makes no sense-feelings do not take up more time than jumping into bed (which he seems to have plenty of time for)-it is possible to do both at the same time. If he can’t multi-task like that-forget him!
N.
I am going through a similiar situation however my ex told me he wanted to be fwb (but exclusively with each other). He told me he wanted to sleep with me and not see other people and I was to do the same?
We broke up because he had commitment issues. Could I somehow turn this around? We broke up 2 months ago after almost 3 years together.
Ok
No you can’t. And if you agree to the demotion of FWB that’s a huge mistake. He doesn’t see you as a girlfriend. And when he does meet a woman he does want as a gf, he will up and leave you.
anon
N, that’s call having your cake and eating it too.
Also, he will be out there dating and courting new women. Will you be out there dating new men while you are hoping to reconcile with this guy? No, probably not.
FWB= providing sex while you wait for the “one”. If you are OK with that proceed, but at some point, the “one” comes a long, and its gonna hurt if it’s he who finds the “one” first.
Andrea
He broke up with you because he was overwhelmed by his feelings?? Lol Give me a break! He dumped you to go see what else is out there. He didn’t have success. So now he returns to you for a boost in his (now deflated) ego and for sexual gratification. You played right into his agenda by not controlling your hormones. The only real shot you have in this working is if you put your foot down and insist on a real relationship. You have to be prepared to walk away permanently if he isn’t truly interested in that. It’s mighty strange how men who don’t “have time” for a relationship always have time to meet for sex. Don’t let yourself be played!
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