Second date at his place!?

I would just be upfront and tell him you’re really looking forward to getting to know him better, but upon thinking about it, you would feel more comfortable meeting somewhere public until you guys know each other a bit better– there’s tons of stuff you can do without drinking– if you are both athletic, why don’t you do something outdoorsy? or just go see a film, go to a museum, get coffee and window shop, I mean I have no idea where you guys live and what kind of stuff there is to do around there, but just not drinking and needing to watch diet doesn’t mean you have to hang out at his place. And i agree he is probably hoping to fool around/have sex.

if he somehow has a problem with this, he’s not a keeper anyway… good to find out early.

A guy once asked me on a second date to his house– he said he’d make me dinner and show me his rare book collection (he was legit a rare book collector but it was just so funny that I couldn’t resist making a joke and saying” “Would love to see you again, however, my mom always told me not to go over to see a man’s “book collection” until I’ve known him for a while” ;) he laughed and said gotcha, and took me out for a nice meal at a restaurant instead. A good guy will NOT want you to be uncomfortable, and going to strange men’s houses that you only know from tinder is well within the range of something you should be cautious of.

I’m with the others. Just say you’re not comfortable going to someone’s house when you hardly know them. He will understand and arrange an alternative if he’s interested in you.

Yeah, that must be a bit frustrating if those are the kinds of guys you are mostly coming into contact with– perhaps all the more reason to put the brakes on physically until you get to know a guy a bit, it is a GREAT screening tool– the ones that are just after your hot bod will fall by the wayside!

Status update: I took the advice here and decided to go hang out with him expecting to suggest we go out. Immediately when I got there, he was like “we don’t have to stay, we can leave or whatever is comfortable for you!” I didn’t even have to ask. We hung out outside near a dog park and chatted, then went back to his apartment because it was getting cold and rainy. We ended up kissing and cuddling for a while, and it escalated but he was the one that said he wanted to wait on having it go further. I was getting ready to stop and say something but he beat me to it saying “trust me I want you, but it’s important to wait on this.” I was floored because this was the first time I had a guy say that, which means that it was the first time I didn’t have to feel like an idiot saying I wanted to wait. Should I take this as a good thing? I mean we’re talking now after the fact but I’ve never really been in this situation before

Yes, it’s a good thing– he’s a gentleman. Now, of course, it remains to be seen if he is the RIGHT gentleman for you, but he passed the gentleman test IMHO

Moderately confused by the last comment, but thanks for the insight guys! I haven’t really been on the “dating scene” until recently and I feel like I’m very conservative with guys (I’m 24 and my only relationship was my senior year of college.) I’m trying to step outside of my comfort zone but I also just don’t have experience with dating so I appreciate it!