Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › Pregnant and might be reaching an end to the relationship
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 2 years, 12 months ago by
Andrea.
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Nat
My boyfriend has been getting upset with me over every little things, and we’ve been bickering a while now. From the way I cook to me keeping quiet during arguments in order to not make things worse because before I would respond and trigger him more, now that I watch my mouth it’s still an issue. When I’m at his house, he does other things with his time, when I’m at work that’s when he wants my attention, and when I’m busy he feels like I’m ignoring him and not doing what I say I’m doing. It’s like everything I do is always wrong. I feel so low and to blamed for everything. I don’t understand.
Last night I once again found myself apologizing for things that I did not know I did wrong, he has been ignoring me since last night, did not talk to me the whole day today. Normally I would reach out and ask him to talk but this time I’ve been quiet as well because I don’t know what to do anymore.
I am 7 months pregnant and I am worried for our future.
AngieBaby
Was this baby planned?
I’m guessing not, because this is the way a man behaves when he’s looking to create excuses to get out of the relationship.
The best you can do is ask to sit down and have a conversation to get to the cause of the bickering and passive aggressive behavior. You’re going to have to use your best conflict management skills and stay calm. “I love you and I”m concerned that you seem unhappy and we can’t get on the same page. Please tell me how you’re feeling about things.” And shut up and listen. Do not interrupt. Get his point of view and go from there. Things can’t go on like this, it’s unhealthy for you and the baby to be so stressed.
But he may want out and there may be nothing you can do about it. I’m sorry.
Nat
Well baby was neither planned nor prevented. We were happy about it. He’s on board with doctors appointments and buying registry.
I did have the conversation with him that maybe he wants out. He said if he did he would be out. I’m just getting the vibe that we all of a sudden not compatible together. I’ve pulled away from him now giving him some space so he can find me again because if everything i do upsets him I don’t want to make it worse. I’ll give it some breathing space.
AngieBaby
At some point you have to have a talk. “Breathing space” is only going to get you so far, and it’s not going to solve anything.
Good luck.
Lane
This is not a good environment to bring your baby into.
Would you both be open to counseling? If he’s not, and you are, then try to find a counselor who deals with relationships, as they may be able to help you understand why he does what he does; why you do what you do, and why its causing so many problems in your relationship.
Neither of you have the skills, or tools, to correct or fix this. You shutting down is not effective, its called ‘stonewalling’ which is a passive-aggressive tactic that doesn’t solve problems but is actually very hurtful to the other. You are both hurting each other, in different ways, and if neither of you are willing to find a solution, preferably together, then you need to end it for the babies sake.
Andrea
Babies are a huge deal emotionally, financially and physically. To neither “plan nor prevent” pregnancy with a man who hasn’t married you is irresponsible. When that baby comes, the majority of the responsibility and sacrifice will be on you. It’s time to change the focus from the dysfunctional relationship to being a good mother. Now is the time to prepare yourself with parenting classes and budgeting classes. You no longer have the freedom to worry about a man who doesn’t seem to want the relationship anymore.
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