Please help me to figure this out


Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals Please help me to figure this out

This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Amanda 4 months ago.

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  • #612707 Reply

    JenniferJ

    I can’t seem to break away from my ex. We had a wonderful relationship that went sour when I wanted to move in together. He dumped me, confused me, we were on/off. The longest I’ve been able to go no contact is 4 months. Then I cave. The first time he caved. Each time I’m hoping he realises he messed up but this time around he told me that he realised we are too different and that he doesn’t want to be with me. Apparently we use to have fun and be relaxed now he feels like I’m pressuring him. To that I will inform you that the only pressure I have applied is that we are together or we are not because he wanted to be in touch. However seems playing that card has worked against me. Now I’m just the needy ex-girlfriend who keeps trying to fix it.

    I feel hopeless and helpless. I’m stuck. I love him so much still and he’s moved on.

    I don’t know how to feel happy without him. I’ve tried everything. I block him, stop talking to him, exercise, even meet other guys nothing works. I just want him. Please help me. It’s so painful and I don’t know what to do anymore.

    #612708 Reply

    Nat

    The first time when he caved in this was the time to apply that pressure, i.e. we are either together or we are not. You missed that point and now it can be too late.

    The only thing you can do is go no contact again. But for a much longer period of time, a year or even longer. And keep on doing what you’ve been doing, it will eventually have an effect. Nothing lasts forever.

    #612716 Reply

    Crisula

    Jennifer,
    How long was your relationship?

    #612734 Reply

    Amanda

    You have to go complete no contact. It will slowly fade, but it can take 2 years to go away completely. Give it 2 years. You can do it, just distract yourself with any activity you can.

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