On my period and he cancelled our date

You’re right khadija, I thought he was showing the right signs of wanting more, but this just threw me off balance. I’ve been working on my self esteem for a year and have come far, but still have some more to go. I told him it’s fine, some other time is good.

No Ester I wouldn’t be me miffed because the only person I can control is ME. I don’t allow small stuff like this to bother me—either you accept the person with all their quirks, flaws, character traits, likes/dislikes or you don’t.

This wouldn’t even be on my radar because I’m fully capable of finding something better to do like meeting up with friends, having an ice cream movie night, or whatever I want because I’m a grown woman who’s fully capable of taking charge of her life whether a man’s in it or not.

Why is this such a big deal to you? You’re just “casual” so your expectations of this man are too high—if he doesn’t want to engage when your friend comes along its his right to do so.

That’s great that you are working on your self esteem.
I also want you to keep in mind that you have a say so in this as well.
If, you think he may only want sex you are free to date other men who want the same things you want.
Really take a moment a look at this situation and how you feel about it.

Sorry ladies for such a detail but I love having sex while on my periods. lol. Many men do not mind it at all, but some do.

Ester, whatever the case, do not forget this situation, observe him more carefully from now on. Whether it is your insecurities or not, his way of dealing with it is not to my liking. One guy I’ve been with in the past told me straight up, but gently, that he is not comfortable with doing it when I am on a period, but he would still want to see me and spend time with me. So take a good notice of what happened and maybe pace your involvement with his guy a little down, a few notches down for sure.

Oh and asking such things is absolutely meaningless. Do you really expect him to tell you the truth, especially if this is something that he wheazels around?

I hope you stick to your decision Ester….you should not be so passive, if something is bothering you, you must voice your opinion and exit the situation. Guys usually will say, you didnt say anything…so I didnt know you were bothered. Happy you have had enough though…

Ester, He does not sound like the one for you – he sounds like a jerk honestly – good riddance. Next!

In your original question, I think you were unsure what he wanted. Next time voice your intentions and desires in the first or second date (looking for LTR, etc) and show that you have good boundaries by following up your words with actions (don’t let guys step all over you/push boundaries/disrespect you) – guys respond to women with good boundaries and who demand respect. I find that it almost excites them – they see you as a challenge. Those that aren’t that interested will realize you are too much work – and it weeds them out so you don’t waste your time. The goal for you is to really be the challenge – to be someone who is hard to get because you have such high standards – if you have this in your mind, you will find that guys will want to jump through hoops to please you.

I would just block his number. You don’t owe him an explanation.

I, too, am a bit passive and avoid confrontation. The one thing I’ve found is, if I’m uncomfortable telling a guy how I feel, I know he’s not the guy for me. The guys I’ve really connected with and who had respect for me, I have no problem at all voicing my opinions to them. It’s just a better dynamic overall, one in which I feel comfortable and don’t worry about “what if he judges me, what if he gets mad,” etc. If you think a guy is going to be mad when you tell him how you feel, either you’re very insecure, or your gut is telling you he’s not a match for you.

You don’t need to wait another month to find out if he is up to code. Time is invaluable. We can’t get it back.
Enjoy the ride and the person you plan to share it with and keep it moving.
Life’s too short to be floored by schmucks.

We have been friends for 7yers but we met one on one aweek ago and he asked me to travel with him just to check on some of his properties for 3 days, a day before we planned to travel, i started my monthly flow which was painful and i told him but he cancelled the trip, he said he has sisters and knows what it feels to have mensrual pain, he said he wants me to be active while away because we are going like tourists that we will reschedule the trip after my period. Is he being sincere or he has the plan of having sex with me? i don’t want to have sex with him yet, i told him before now that i want us to get to know each other first before sex and he agreed with me and says he won’t force me. Am so confused

Sounds like he sees what you two have as a Friends with Benefits type thing, especially since you sleep with him every time you meet up and he cancelled when he found out sex wouldn’t be an option this time.