This topic contains 63 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Kayla 3 months, 1 week ago.
January 11, 2018 at 2:55 pm #678338
For the first time – I spoke to my friends regarding this guy – I normally keep my private life away from my friends and family
I hold a guy friend and female
And the both said I was in the wrong on how I spoke to him.
So I started feeling bad.
I send him a message saying “regarding us – what happened happened- I just need a little time, maybe next week we can meet when we are both free”
And then I said: “I do miss you though regardless of what’s happening”
This was this morning- he has been active online and haven’t even read it.
I feel sick and feel like crying.
I haven’t eaten properly.
Don’t why I am telling you all – I guess you can all say – we told you so blah blah
I am just venting sadly
January 11, 2018 at 2:57 pm #678342
Jesus woman. What is wrong with you? He is not ignoring you, he answered your text. Please decide what it is you want and stop leading this poor man on.January 11, 2018 at 2:58 pm #678343
How did he answer my text ???January 11, 2018 at 3:10 pm #678345
I am finding it really hard to break free – it’s strange- normally it’s not so difficult for me.
I thought few times deleting him but backed down-
I thought about sending a clear broke up message but that might seem like I am attention seekingJanuary 11, 2018 at 3:17 pm #678348
Hi Dee, I think you obviously don’t want to break up, at least not now and not like this. So how about you give him some more time to reply and see what happens? You had an argument or something, didn’t you, perhaps he is angry too and that’s why he is taking time to reply.January 11, 2018 at 3:20 pm #678350
So instead you post here for attention. Yawn. It’s not like you actually want advice. You’re a royal pain.
I don’t think anyone here blames him for being done. You’re extremely high maintenance for a casual shag.January 11, 2018 at 3:24 pm #678352
Shoshannah Yes deep down I don’t wanna go end it – I always I had to end it – but never wanted it.
It’s painful knowing he is finally done with me.January 11, 2018 at 3:26 pm #678353
Oh Dee…you poor insecure Dee. Do you not see it that if you tell a guy that you need a little time, you are sending him away? “regardless of what’s happening”…You can’t tell him something nice without any disclaimers?
What is happening? You are playing games with him? Even your friends are telling you this. From your description he is not the classiest guy out there, I am not arguing this point, but you are so wishy washy and so annoyingly “evasive” that in his shoes I would have lost interest a long time ago.
You can’t stop being who you are, but you certainly can learn how to consider another person’s perspective. Review your relationship and what you were saying to him, pay attention to the little hints he had been throwing your way all the time, for you to push them away and brush him off. He is not the guy who would sweep you off your feet, he is not a communicator either, but he had interest in you and had feelings for you, I remember some of the things he said to you and how you replied (which to me was brushing him off!)
Your problem with this guy will continue until he loses his feelings for you completely. Or until you (unlikely!) learn to be genuine with him and consider his point of view and how he might be feeling.
And if you ever going to listen to any advice here, why do you TEXT about such things? Your text came out abrasive, it was not clear how you felt. Do not text to sort out relationship issues. Call and speak on the phone, and not after he comes from work, tired and hungry, when you know he is ok to talk about something sensitive. Or better speak when you are together, when you can hug him, smile at him. Let him see the vulnerable you. Instead you are this little porcupine always ready for an “active defense” while expecting the man to want to hug you. I hope you can see THIS side of your own behaviour. I know I am the only one who is defending this guy, but I am not actually defending HIM. I just see how your behaviour can be perceived as off-putting by him or other men for that matter.
And next time try to pick a classier guy, someone more civilized, with polite communication manners. LOL.
Oh and ask yourself, who messages do you NOT rush to read? someone who never says anything genuinely nice, someone who ALWAYS has needles in every sentence. Has it occurred to you that maybe this is how he feels about your messages?
But then again, who knows what’s going on, with you one can never know what really happened. Sorry if it is unpleasant for you to hear but I am saying it to help you. LOLJanuary 11, 2018 at 3:36 pm #678361
Thanks Emma – I find your replies very soothing lol
I don’t think I said anything negative- I only said “regardless what’s happening” because we are not at good place now.
Yesterday when he messaged me he didn’t start the messages how he normally does – there was no “babe or beautiful or anything sweet so obviously the situation has changed for both of us.January 11, 2018 at 3:51 pm #678366
Maybe he does not read the texts because he knows its going to say something stupid. You can’t stop yourself from the texting of stupid things.January 11, 2018 at 3:54 pm #678367
This is my fave episode of “Love hurts”!
Honestly im so confused by this I dont even know what you two are anymore.January 11, 2018 at 3:57 pm #678370
Lol Jose definitely confuse.com
He definitely done with me now.
And even if he isn’t it – I don’t think I go back to him anymore – too much damage has been done
But I want the hurting to stopJanuary 11, 2018 at 4:23 pm #678381
I think when he said- his so messed up that he can’t think straight to know what to do”
I think he meant he doesn’t know weather to broke up with me or not
Because before that I said to said to “if you wanna end things – just say so”
Where he replied “why would you think I wanna end things with you”
Where I said “don’t worry about it”
So maybe he thought about me suggesting ending things and he just left me without saying anything.January 11, 2018 at 4:33 pm #678382
I don’t know why I am even bothering to reply to this post. I have been ignoring most of your posts because it is all SSDD (same sh*t different day) and you aren’t going to listen to advice and are going to continue to drag out this dysfunctional relationship until both of you get tired of it or bored. Not only that but you continue to have conversations regarding the status of your relationship and whether or not you are broken up over TEXT! Two people like you who have such a hard time communicating the most simple things to each other shouldn’t be discussing any of this over text. What did you really think he was going to say back when you pushed him off until next week?!? If you wanted to talk now then you should have said let’s meet and talk about this now. Don’t tell someone you need time and want to wait until next week to talk and expect them to reply to you right away. That doesn’t even make good sense. But then I have to remember who I’m talking to here. Take the time you said you needed and leave this man alone for awhile. Lord knows he could use a break from this drama for awhile.January 11, 2018 at 4:38 pm #678383
Dumb and dumber
And all this is over text because you prefer not to talk in person or by phone. Call him and figure it out. He isn’t a boy friend . He’s just some guy who gives you occasional attention and sex. I don’t see what you are losing, you have been upset with him more than ever happy. This is the only guy you can find to have easy sex with?January 11, 2018 at 5:09 pm #678387
“What did you really think he was going to say back when you pushed him off until next week?!? If you wanted to talk now then you should have said let’s meet and talk about this now. Don’t tell someone you need time and want to wait until next week to talk and expect them to reply to you right away. That doesn’t even make good sense. ”
What kaye said above is so right.
Dee, please read it again and againJanuary 11, 2018 at 5:51 pm #678391
Dee, what do you mean you want the hurting to stop? YOU are 100% in control of your “hurting” because you are 100% the cause of it. You seem to thrive on the drama and if there isn’t any, you make sure to create some. He is not your boyfriend and you are only each other’s casual sex partners. You’ve been posting here for months about this guy practically every time one of you turns around or takes a leak. You get worried if he gets too close, you get worried if he goes too far away. At some stage, people get worn out of this crap and leave. You have gotten loads of great advice that you keep ignoring. You seem only to use this site as Dear Diary and it’s really boring. Get a grip. Get some counseling.January 11, 2018 at 6:50 pm #678394
Shawnee is right! I, for one pledge to stop responding to any more of Dee’s drama. Over and out!January 11, 2018 at 7:53 pm #678398
Dee don’t mind us on this forum. We’re just old, used up b@@ches that can’t hold on to a man. We criticize others for their foolishness, then post practically the same scenario. About 80 percent of posts on here are the same problems. Just different participantsJanuary 11, 2018 at 9:17 pm #678406
That last post sounded like our friend StephenJanuary 11, 2018 at 9:49 pm #678407
Readings comprehension people !
He didn’t read my messages yet so he don’t doesn’t know I said “I need time”
He can only see the beginning of text on his phone so it has no idea what I said.
So he just blanking me totallyJanuary 11, 2018 at 10:28 pm #678410
YES Dee, we got that. Nothing anyone here can do. I don’t know why you expect any different or what you are telling us for. It’s not like you have taken anyone’s advice. You can only jerk someone around so far before they go as someone else pointed out. He’s sick of the drama and games. And so what, not like you were going to get married. This is what happens when you pussyfoot around on text rather than talking.January 11, 2018 at 10:31 pm #678411
When I read your posts I get sad…
Both you and this boy (and I choose that ‘title’ deliberately) need COMMUNICATION COMPREHENSION!!
NEITHER of you can communicate in a clear and concise fashion and that is part of the reason you are in this mess today.
You both text like mad… but say nothing.
You go back and forth…
and back and forth…
and resolve nothing.
What is it you really want from him??
You keep saying ‘I am OK with the way it is, no title, it’s casual’… but clearly you are not, because you are in such pain.
So… what is it you REALLY want???
Until you answer that for yourself you will continue this drama.January 11, 2018 at 11:03 pm #678413
lol you say you want to break up one day, and then are made when he doesn’t reply after you break up with him. I disagree he was a casual sex partner. This guy flat out said that Dee is his exclusive partner, but she refuses too accept that no matter what he does. Your relationship is toxic and you are the toxic one. Please leave this poor guy alone.January 11, 2018 at 11:20 pm #678415
Amanda have you read “Women’s Infidelity I & II” by Michelle Langley? It is a very interesting read. I downloaded a free pdf copy a couple of years ago.