No dating on dating site


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This topic contains 20 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Susan 6 days, 17 hours ago.

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  • #677665 Reply

    Simi Jori

    As I am on the dating site one month now, I am weeding out all the improper guys.

    There are some I already know from before.

    There is one who I know from before and we are talking one month now. He knows I was jsut after break up when I joined.

    All his ideas like “dont you wnt to change your plans for this Friday” I declined as I was not ready to date yet and I was not sure if it was not just a hook up.

    We talk one month now. Sometimes we just keep the texting on the dating site not dying for whatever reason even thought we have nothing to talk about. I really really fancy him. He told me many times he was upset I chose another guy over him before (my ex) and I was told I will chose another guy over him again too.

    But he didnt make any proper plans for a date yet! It got to the stage when I really got upset and bit insecure, and he keeps repeating I dont want any date with him actually, that I am not interested in him (actually when I read our conversation I soundreally horrible).

    I got his number but as I was just after break up I didnt use it. Yesterday he wrote to me that he is having champagne chilled on the balcony. I told him good luckwith the champagne to have fun with whomever he drinks it. He said that I should come over (another nearby city) that it would be for me. I declined (I am not a hook up, at least not after so long time of texting lol it took some effort lol) and he said we could drink champagne and to have some erotic thoughts.

    I really got upset at him and told him to drink whatever he wants with all the whole dating site if he wants. He said I was being silly he was inviting me not another one. I really got upset more and made sure he knew it as he really probably thought I should feel honoured by that.

    After that we kept normal discussion.

    I mean is there any way to get him to take me out not lie this? I guess he know how to invite someone out? He is 4 years divorced and his dating was just coffee and a few dates (two girls got to the third date with him but no more), one LDR 8 months (the girl was living in another city and he fell for her very much but they werent able to see each other at all all those 8 months!!! I mean that is really horrible). He was married 15 years. Maybe he doesnt know how to date properly or am I just silly thinking this? Today I want to make a hint or finish texting him as I am really really tired (we exchanged Facebook already).

    #677666 Reply

    Simi Jori

    not lie this = not like this

    #677668 Reply

    Simi Jori

    Just adding he lives in another nearby town, but works in my city, and his a truck driver (just for our small country) but he is at his home every day. Just adding this as the girl he had LDR was living near our capital city where he is driving nearly every day and still they werent able see each other….! How to hint hint to take me out properly? there must be a way 🙂 otherwise I am really tired of the word tennis with him. If I am tired (and I am a very patient person) of all that he will (or maybe he already is) tired of it too and I am afraid it would be too late one day.

    #677672 Reply

    Raven

    Time waster…

    #677683 Reply

    Simi Jori

    What to write asthe last chance to see if he mans up or ask me finally for a date? My friend told me my texts are so boring she wonders why he even texts with me.

    #677684 Reply

    Hannah

    You’re not giving much back are you? You didn’t want to go on a date because you weren’t ready, you told him you’d choose someone else over him and you said yourself you’re horrible to him. Why would he be motivated to take you on a date if you’re not nice and encouraging to him?

    #677689 Reply

    Simi Jori

    I am a very bad texter. I really wonder myself why he even texts with me. I give him 70% one word replies and he goes berserk lol but I am usually so busy + bad texter I dont know how to encourage him. I dont know what to write. Please help. I am so much better in person, I am kind and smiling, just those texts would really pis* of anybody and I understand that. Any suggestions what to write ? I feel stupid to ask in my age such questions, just I am not gifted for texting. I would love to hear hisvoice. We havent even called….

    #677690 Reply

    Amanda

    Why are you wasting your time with this guy? Any guy who asks me on a home date for a first date I am done talking to. It means they want just sex and they almost never change their mind.

    #677695 Reply

    Simi Jori

    For example now.

    me: Hello, funny when you talk to someone and you find out you actaully know each other :)))
    him: hi. that is interesting. At least we will not know each other because you dont want.
    me: you didnt ask!

    (till now no answer)
    and so on etc. any help or is this lost case?

    #677696 Reply

    Simi Jori

    now reply: Asked what?

    this is so nerv wreckingI really losing my nerves and closing this topic, this is nonsense this guy is nuts

    #677708 Reply

    L

    Your phone actually has a capability that allows you to speak on it.

    #677738 Reply

    Devil’s Advocate

    Let’s just cut to the chase here. You are on a dating site and yet you aren’t ready to date yet. Why waste your time and everyone else’s? Would you want to talk to a guy for a month only for him to tell you he’s not ready to date? It’s called a DATING site for a reason!! Then you say he hasn’t asked you on a proper date yet. Well if you’ve told him you’re not ready to date then what would be the point in him asking you out again? He invites you over for champagne and you get insulted. I’m confused as hell as to what you want and i’m sure he is too!! If you want to date him simply tell him he needs to make plans to take you out on a real date. If you don’t want to date because you aren’t ready then stop talking to him and get off the dating site.

    #677743 Reply

    Amanda

    Of course she is insulted. A first date of drinking at his house is an invitation for casual sex! There are thousands of people online to date. Why are you asking for advice and ignoring it? Move on from this creep.

    #678527 Reply

    Simi Jori

    I have additional question for this subject.

    I thought I would agree with it as I would like to have a new FWB meanwhile I would be looking for a good relationship. I used to have a great FWB rltnship before, the guy was great and I believe it was the best FWB ever. Unfortunately I had to let him go when I found my now ex.

    I agreed with a date with the guy, he got really enthusiastic and all went well, I thought I was lucky to start a new FWB thing. Three, two days we were talking happy and enthusiastic.

    We agreed to have home date through night tonight, after I finish at 10 pm in committee.

    Yesterday I was not talking to him much during day as I was busy. In the evening he was abrupt, coldish, I thought we would finish plans but he was reluctant and even I asked if anything happened he said nothing and that he did not want to interrupt me when talking with others (we were chatting on Facebook and dating site in the evening). Then he said he needs to go to another city abroad (he is a truck driver) and not sure how it would go in the evening.

    Of course today in the evening he said he got stuck in small town abroad as he driven his limits, needs to stay there. I replied I was sorry to hear that but at least I can go for wine with people from committee but it would be better with him. However his location shows he is perfectly at home.

    Can someone experienced advise me what went wrong? I mean I take care of myself, and was up for anything tonight but I cannot understand why he backed off. I would be perfect FWB lol I don’t mind him chatting with others, I do not really care, I miss my last FWB as it was FWB rltnship as it should be, but I cannot understand why, what went wrong. He is still on dating site chatting up others so he is OK, but I cannot understand why.

    #678531 Reply

    Anne

    He only has sex with women who make it easy. You have to go to him. If your lucky, he will let you shower before you go home. Otherwise, you will go home with a sticky twaaat. That is the guy you are chasing. Is this you?

    #678533 Reply

    Simi Jori

    Yuck lol

    We have agreed to meet at my home (as it is easier for me and I’m not going to travel anywhere). He was ok with it.

    #678537 Reply

    L

    How is it so difficult to meet a man that wants no string sex? You don’t think it’s you?

    #678540 Reply

    Simi Jori

    Yes that’s why it bothers me what I did wrong. Honestly I’m just about to ask him why he backed off but I think I would not get any valid answer anyway.

    #678541 Reply

    Omg

    Do you realize nothing you say makes any sense?

    #678546 Reply

    kaye

    This has to be a troll. One post she’s saying she’s not a hookup and she’s insulted that he invites her over for drinks at his place, next she agreed to a home date after 10 at night and wants to know why he backed out when she is up for anything and wants FWB.

    #678575 Reply

    Susan

    No, she’s not a troll. She’s just not willing to do the work on herself to be healthy enough to date normal men and have a normal relationship. Kind of like Dee. They both post here for months, get good advice, ignore it, refuse to see the problem is themselves and are caught in a twilight zone of crap and drama they keep creating for themselves. STOP DATING Simi. You’re just rebounding from the last one that was a continual dramatic disaster. Nothing has changed with you. You absolutely cannot handle FWB. Work with a counselor that specializes in relationships so you can learn to like yourself, raise your self esteem and understand how men operate.

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