New to Long distance relationship


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This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Shoshannah 3 months ago.

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  • #610170 Reply

    Becky

    Hi everyone 🙂

    Ive been with my bf for 3 years and we are yet to live together. We see each other on weekend due to living an hour apart and me being at university. At the end of March he is due to go away to work in East Africa for 5 1/2 months. I am already feeling very emotional about it and struggling to come to terms with the separation. Im so happy for him because its a great work opportunity however im a little unsure how i will cope with the distance. Does anyone have any advice on how they have coped with a similar situation and whether they experiences similar worries

    Thank you 🙂

    #610176 Reply

    Amanda

    Plan ahead of time for regular communication. For instance, set two days a week to have skype conversations and maybe one day where you two can watch a movie together. There are also a ton of cheap international cell phone plans (and internet skype calls are fee of course) so he should get one of those. Even a few texts a day telling each other about your day help. Distance is hard, but as long as there is a clear end date and you have a strong foundation it is possible to maintain the relationship. Just don’t stop communication for half a year! Also, if it is financially possible for either of you to visit once or twice, that helps too. If you hunt (Scott’s cheap flights, for example) it is possible to find really great deals.

    #610181 Reply

    Mae

    Don’t listen to those who will tell you it won’t work. I did long distance a year and a half with my now-husband whom I met while traveling Italy. Now he’s here, we’re married and he’s on his way to getting a green card. How did it work? You need face time, if only for 5 minutes a day. Also come to terms with the time differences and face the fact that sacrifices will need to be made on both ends for the sake of communication. Luckily for you, 5 and 1/2 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I wouldn’t even stress about planning a trip. Many long distance couples (myself included) went about that time without physical contact. You, of course, have to be on the same page. You don’t mention his stance at all. Have you discussed this? What are his thoughts on how the relationship will progress during this time?

    #610196 Reply

    Becky

    Thank you so much for your lovely words! My boyfriend is very confident that we will work out, whereas i think im much more of an overthinker and quite a sensitive person. Ive never felt so in love and i still feel fear that he could break my heart. Our contact will be limited as he is still not sure about what kind of phone plan he will be able to get and will only have internet access on weekends. Im finding myself very emotional when he leaves me at the weekend knowing that in two weeks time it will mean saying goodbye for what feels like i extremely long time. My family live 3 hours away so im also worried about how i will cope without their support

    #612705 Reply

    alice

    you need to keep yourself busy and distracted, focus on your studies.its going to be hard specially when you say you are a over thinker. but you love each other you can manage it and five months is nothing. trust your relationship.

    #612711 Reply

    Nat

    Half a year is not a very long time, stop crying and get ready. Plan your time, plan projects that you’ve always wanted to try, try a new wacky hairdo while he is away, go the gym more often, go to the gym every day, plan to have facetime and calls as often as possible.

    Once you start feeling lonely do not nag him. Simply cope and endure. People go through worse. 6 months is not that long and you have a solid foundation. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so do give him an opportunity to miss you too.

    #612747 Reply

    Shoshannah

    I, personally, have a bad experience with LDRs. It was not an identical, but a similar situation. We’ve been together for years, we just got engaged. he just bought an appartemnt for us both, when I found out that I got this great scholarship… for 4 years. The first year was fine, but we broke up (dramatically) in the second year. Everyone tells you how to keep your mind clear. I would, instead, plan visits. Any possibility that you could go with him (for the whole period)? If not, can you at least spend some of the weekends together? The more the better. I don’t want to sound too pesimistic though, Mae’s exerience is different. And it’s also true that 5 and a half months is not bad. As I said, if it was not more than a year, we might have made it with my ex. But the truth is, I think we agreed to this situation (me leaving for so long), only because we already knew that our relationship won’t work.

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