Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › My boyfriend has never gone down on me
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lady.
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Jenny
Hi I’m just looking for some advice/opinions. My boyfriend of 7 months has never gone down on me, I’ve never asked him and we’ve never discussed it. It’s not a major thing to me as we have a good sex life and I’ve never really been into it with previous partners. I just think it’s strange he hasn’t tried to as I give him oral sex all the time and he loves it. Is he being selfish? Are some guys just not into it?
Also I have a much higher sex drive than him! I would have sex with him twice a day if I could but he only seems to want it every couple of days.
Thanks guys! Any advice is greatly appreciated , Jenny xxGabi
Well before assuming anything, you should ask him to. See what he says.
Jenny
He doesn’t know I don’t like it, that’s the thing, We’ve never discussed it
redcurleysue
I would think he may not be into it since he has not tried to go there.
But, I would ask him.
Jenny
Is it unusual for a guy not to be into it? Any other guy I’ve been with in the past always wanted to go down on me and would initiate.
Lilith
It must really suck to be a man. No pun intended. Women just have to finding problems and create issues where there aren’t any. You don’t like it anyway. If you decide you now do want it, just ask him! Every person is different. Not all women enjoy giving head. Does that mean she is selfish? Or anal? Does that make her selfish? The key to great sex is communicating with your mate. We can’t read his mind or tell you what he is into or not. For all we know he is bi sexual and likes giving head to other men! Have you thought of that yet?
Jenny
Thanks Mike and red! And Lilith haha no I had never thought he might enjoy giving head to other men lol but thanks for the laugh… It’s just something I’ve never experienced before is a man having no interest in going down and was wondering was it common?
My relationship is not living and dying on this, it’s more of a general wondering and I wanted to give you guys some background info…Joe
About 50% of men enjoy giving oral. Others do it to please the woman.
Jens
Some guys like it, some don’t. I prefer a guy not do it if he isnt’ into it. For me, not a dealbreaker if all else is good in the bedroom.
Lisa
“Also I have a much higher sex drive than him! I would have sex with him twice a day if I could but he only seems to want it every couple of days.”
Ok, here’s probably the answer. Since you are the one initiating, you will only get sex on his terms.
Try waiting for him to initiate, and act a bit more cool, a bit more hard-to-get.
I promise, he will have sex with you more on your terms.
Robs
It was the exact same with my boyfriend for a while, Jenny. Turns out he’d never done it before and was shocked when I said that it was something I liked! He was actually pretty nervous to do it and we’d been together a year before he finally did, and I do think that’s because I told him that I like it. It’s not like he does it every time but when he knew I liked it, he made more effort. I think it’s kinda cute that he was nervous and hadn’t really thought to do it before.
I’d just tell him!! If you don’t want to bring it up in conversation I’m sure there’s a sexy way you could say it in bed, too. He might just not be experienced in it and scared he’ll ‘do it wrong’. Or, if he genuinely doesn’t want to, at least you’ll then find out and then you can go from there.
Amanda
My guess is either he doesn’t like it or doesn’t really know how lol. Anyway why are you so scared to talk about this? It is not a big deal just ask him.
Emma
I do find it a little odd that he never tried to say why he doesn’t do it. 7 months is a long time, if you always give him oral but he never even tried, and never tried to talk about it, it is not right. It is quite selfish and even quite rude, given that he enjoys receiving it from you, without reciprocating or even trying to.
I can see how you’d feel very uncomfortable asking him about it. It is a delicate thing!
But do not let it become that thing that brings resentment out of you. You do need to resolve it somehow. Maybe watch some porn together? and see how he reacts when there is a 15-min part of cun nili ngus comes up? LOL I really don’t know how best to approach it, because I would not want to be “asking” for it. But my ways are not typical LOL
Canezza
Omg I can do relate ! I’ve been with my partner the same amount of time and I have a high sex drive too! He’s never gone down on me and I also give head like all the time! I have however discussed with him and ask why he never goes down on me . He said he thinks he’s no good at it and he’s had a bad experience in the past. Made me think “ that he’s done it with other women but not me !?” Is it me then ?! He says not at all and if all the women he’s been with I’m the most that doesn’t have a smelly pussy lol. It’s no deal breaker for me but it would be nice to experience it with him too. Just be honest . It’s the best way to be. Some guys love it , some don’t . I also have friends who have never given head and refuse to (poor guys lol) hope that help x
lady
Ugh, I have the opposite problem — my man loves to go down on me, but I think I’m the only woman on the planet who doesn’t orgasm that way. I need penetration in order to do so. I’m trying to learn to enjoy it though — he seems to like doing it. I reciprocate of course.
I would bring it up — maybe casually and in a neutral setting (meaning, not in bed!) so he doesn’t feel pressured to do it right then and there.
How he responds will give you a good idea of your communication styles when it comes to sex. If you have a higher sex drive, you will need to hone your communication skills with him for any future issues that might come up in regards to sex. You both need to get to a place of comfort and safe space to learn from each other.
Good luck!!!
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