This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Asha 3 weeks, 1 day ago.
June 23, 2018 at 5:46 am #709331
He broke up with me two weeks ago and said he doesn’t think our relationship will work when he moves to a new city (only an hour train ride away). WE have done LD before but then he moved back to our home town.
Later when I questioned this, he said ‘I’m not in love with you, you need to accept that’
His family love me, as do his friends, we had a fun relationship and the whole thing came from out of the blue – everyone was shocked. His mum thinks he is focused on this new job, and wants to put his all in to it.
I honestly can’t find a reason for him to have fallen out of love with me, he was happy with me, I supported him in getting this job, and we even travelled the world together.
Does he just think the grass is greener on the other side and is hoping for a new life, new success, new everything?
I am doing no contact in the hope that space may make him realise he has made a mistake. But I feel like he is already moved on.
June 23, 2018 at 6:04 am #709333
Oh ASHA I’m so sorry. You are doing absolutely the right thing by not contacting him. Your only hope will be that he has space to miss you and realise he made a mistake.
As you say, it doesn’t sound very hopeful I’m afraid, but who knows. I can’t tell you why he fell out of love. My husband and I fell out of love with each other and I don’t know why that happened either! I’ve spent months wondering and I think we just changed in different ways. I think some people are supposed to be in your life for a lifetime, others just temporarily. You had lots of moments of fun and happiness together, but maybe it just wasn’t supposed to last forever. Fate has a different plan for you both. I am sorry.June 23, 2018 at 2:27 pm #709373
We can’t forsee the future. Try not to obsess. You will only drive yourself crazy.June 23, 2018 at 3:54 pm #709382
I am sorry that you are going through this. The best thing you can do is just move on as is clear that he already moved on, he told you that he is not in love with you, believe him, I am telling you this from personal experience, as my ex told me this and a few months later he already had another gf and a year later he married her, and through all of it i though he was going to regret it, (he didn’t).June 23, 2018 at 4:17 pm #709386
He doesn’t love you. No, he won’t regret it.
Sorry, let it go and move on.June 23, 2018 at 4:21 pm #709387
An hour is not long distance. he is using that as an excuse because he has lost feeling for you. I know it hurts but its best for you t accept it. He’s been very clear that he doesn’t want to be with you.June 24, 2018 at 12:54 pm #709495
Unfortunately I had to contact him today as er… long story short.. one of his mates was talking to me inappropriately and he had logged on to his mac (apparently i was still logged on on his facebook) and he ended up reading the convos and messaging this guy!!
So NC will have to start today!! – there was no gushy messages though just to the point about the situation..
Also expecting a text from him in about a month as he owes me money – any advice on what I should do about that?
It is difficult because we were together two years, and when i said goodbye he cried, hugged me, kissed me, said he loved me bla bla. His mum and her partner cried when they had to say goodbye to me, it has effected everyone.
The messages were nice and he did say things like ‘would be nice to see you’ and ‘it was nice to hear from you’ but i do think maybe these are just him trying to be nice as i told him off for being a poobag towards me (I do not tolerate people people speaking to me like poop)
In responses to the people who say ‘It is clear he has moved on’ can I ask why it is clear?
A lot of the things he is saying he tells me ‘he thinks its the right thing to do’ so I cant help but think he told me about the not being in love thing (this was after break up via text message) just to try and get me to forget about him.
Thanks guys xoJune 25, 2018 at 2:03 am #709571
Asha, I know this is painful, but he told you this because it is the TRUTH for him. When a man says I’m not in love with you and breaks up with you, his words and actions match so it’s crystal clear that he means it and this is over.
He’s not in love with you and he isn’t going any further with you and this is over. You’re grasping at imaginary straws. The sooner you accepted the reality of the end of this relationship, the faster you can get into the process of moving on. He’s moved to a new place and has a new job and he wants to start another life without you in it. This may look like out of the blue to you, but it’s either been brewing for a while or he’s met someone else he wants to date.
You need to cut contact for 30 days for starters so you can take care of your needs now. Delete him from social media, etc.
How much does he owe you… you realize you might not get that back, right?June 25, 2018 at 8:08 am #709582
He isn’t pretty trustworthy (lol) he has always paid me back, we had an ammicable split and he is a good guy.
I know when he gets paid, if he doesn’t give it to me I will go through his Mum who would definitely give it back to me, we have a close relationship.