My Boyfriend Broke Up with me After 4 Years


Home Forums How To Get My Ex Back My Boyfriend Broke Up with me After 4 Years

This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Aida 2 weeks, 5 days ago.

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  • #668220 Reply

    Claire

    Hey, so about three weeks ago my boyfriend told me he was unsure of our relationship. We broke up but still kept in contact a bit. We hangout twice within the next week, even slept together because he told me he thought he made a mistake. Then out of the blue during that next week he told me that we couldn’t do this anymore. He said he has been focusing on himself this past week and having fun with him friends. He also said he couldn’t let go of something that happened back in the spring. I was harassed by my two roommates after I had lied to my boyfriend about going to a frat party because I knew how he’d react and didn’t want him to worry as he had a major assignment due the next day. My roommates saw this as ammunition and made up a bunch of lies about me. He told me he can’t let go of that. So we broke up. It is now Tuesday, I am completely destroyed and we haven’t talked since Saturday morning. Is there any chance I will hear from him again? Will he ever realize that he made a mistake and come back?

    #668240 Reply

    Heather

    Who said he made a mistake? Maybe this is something that he needs to do. He does not want to be with you. It sucks and it is hard but you have to accept that. Take this time for yourself, i know that after 4 years with someone it must be really tough. My suggestion is to seek counseling, there you will be able to process the break up and find ways to focus on yourself and move on. Good luck.

    #668653 Reply

    Sophia

    I agree. He thought he’d made a mistake and tried again but then realized THAT was actually the mistake. I’m sorry for how you’re feeling right now, but you will survive this.

    Maybe there’s something in the fact that you had to lie about going to a frat party because it would upset him. After four years you should be able to tell him without any drama. He should just trust you.

    And then to listen to your roommates over you – why did they gang up on you? – is another bad sign.

    Looking at it as an outsider it seems that although you had four years together, you also had some issues in there.

    So try not to be overwhelmed and accept he just wasn’t right for you and go out and find someone new. Maybe at the next frat party! Good luck 👍🏻

    #668669 Reply

    Joe

    You’re the one who made a mistake by lying to him. In the future, you need to understand that lies are never the right thing to do. Honesty is the best policy. He’s lost trust in you because of your lie.

    #668670 Reply

    Sir Hugo the Bold

    “You’re the one who made a mistake by lying to him. In the future, you need to understand that lies are never the right thing to do. Honesty is the best policy. He’s lost trust in you because of your lie.”

    Miserable wretch! How darest thou accuse a fair maiden of the telling of untruths. Avant despoiler of fair maidens. I strike thy skinny buttocks with the flat of my sword.

    I live to serve all Womynkind

    Sir Hugo the Bold

    #668675 Reply

    Aida

    I’m really sorry, Claire, it has to be tough to lose him after 4 years.

    It’s a good opportunity to explore two things you mention:

    1) You lied to him but more importantly you think you were JUSTIFIEDin lying to him because of how he would react. You make it sound like a selfless thing because you didn’t want to upset him, but it wasn’t, it was a lie about you going to a frat party and it destroyed the trust you had with him.

    So you might want to explore/talk with a counselor about why you think it’s okay to lie to loved ones.

    2)Why do your roommates hate you?

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