My bf loves me for sex


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This topic contains 13 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Torch 3 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #703945 Reply

    C

    Hi,
    I am with my bf for two years. He is a patient guy, mostly with good temper. But the thing is, he puts too much importance on sex. I accused him of wanting sex too much many times, he tried to be more caring in other areas but eventually it would all Come back to sex. He talks about marriage and family, but only when he feels the sex with me was so good that he cannot leave me ever. When I keep having enjoyable sex with him, he keeps falling in love more. But I feel sex is such an important part of our relationship that if we are married and one day I cannot have hot sex with him, he would soon go to other women, even though he might still take care of me. Is it a red flag?



    #703952 Reply

    rebecca

    Hi C

    I read your thread, and i suggest to you to find someone that love you not only for sex.
    In relationship sex is not number one, connection each other is important in relationship.
    And if you feel comfortable with your relationship,keep it..
    Or visit this site girlstravelling(dot)com, try to find someone that can listen your problem or find someone that changed your dating life.
    I used this site once and found someone special in my life

    #703955 Reply

    Bedazzle


    Sounds like you two have differing sex drives.

    #703958 Reply

    Hannah

    How often does he want sex? How often do you want sex? What happens when you say no?

    Sex is a really important part of a relationship and most people feel closer to their partners when they’re being intimate with them regularly. But there’s a limit and everyone’s sex drive is different.

    #703970 Reply

    C


    He talks about it often and it kills my sex drive. When he is absent I feel I want that too. So I think our sex drive aren’t that different.

    You know for some men, if you push them for marriage they’d rebel. But if you stop mentioning it, they end up wanting it naturally. I feel I am like that for sex as well.

    He used to be kind of pushy when I said no but nowadays if I said no, there won’t be hard feeling. He’d quickly fall asleep. He becomes more understanding when I explain to him I am tired. But very clearly I feel that out-of-control desire and it is a turnoff for me. If I cook him a good meal he’d compliment it but won’t chase it when hungry. But if I make him very satisfied in bed, he’d come running after me, falling more deeply in love. Am I not thinking it right?? Or we aren’t compatible?

    #704003 Reply

    L

    So after two years, where is the marriage ?

    #704006 Reply

    C

    L – You nailed the point.

    #704010 Reply

    Ali

    You have a man who is very attracted to you and desires you. Obviously sex is one of the key ways he feels close to you and bonded to you. This is GOOD! Especially because if you guys stay together for a very long time it might start to taper off a bit so you want things to start out strong.

    You say you don’t have different sex drives, so in which case I’m pretty confused as to why this is a problem? Do you feel like there aren’t other things he likes about you?

    #704016 Reply

    Pam

    She just said what the problem is. She wants a proposal.

    #704041 Reply

    Danna

    C

    I get it..while sex is great, you want to know if that’s all that’s keeping him. I think what you lack is to see other forms of appreciation. That he genuinely loves you for other things too and the sex is a bonus.

    Honestly if it was me, I would thank my lucky stars that after 2 years my man desires me so much he falls in love all over again when we are intimate. IMO You don’t have a problem here, all you have to look at is if there are little things you guys do together that’s showing LOVE. Are you feeling loved?

    Personally, I would start to wonder if you were in your 4th year. But 2 years together is still early for a proposal. Unless you’re 30+ and experiencing a ticking clock crisis.

    #704156 Reply

    C

    Thanks for the advice. Yes I do want a proposal. But lately I am working on improving other areas of my life, surprisingly getting a proposal has become less important for me.

    Danna you are right I don’t know if there is anything else that will keep him other than sex, because his focus on sex feels very very strong. I am not sure whether I am allergic to it or what???

    I know it isn’t fair to say all he wants is sex. He does do the things I like to make me happy as long as I voice it to him. And he put up a lot of my temper from the beginning and gradually I get rid of my hot temper as well.

    But comparing to his reaction t OK sex, I feel nothing nothing else is that important. I give you one example.

    Every time we go out shopping on weekend night, he would ask to get a herbal pill from the adult shop on our way to the supermarket. He is very energetic in bed and he doesn’t need it at all. But every time he has to ask with that kind of eager look. One time I just got angry I told him “look, you are so young and strong you don’t need it. I am on a homeloan and I am struggling to put food on my table so please don’t tell me you want to get a pill that isn’t very necessary! ” He was a bit shocked he said “why you said you struggled to put food on the table? I always make sure you have enough food that’s why we come shopping. And the pill is for the enjoyment. ” We didn’t get the pill that night but he thought my reaction was exaggerated.

    Another example is, I do try to arouse him in bed so obviously he loves it. But the more I arouse him the longer he lasts. Practically he just won’t stop. (Maybe I shouldn’t say our sex drives are similar) I could spend the whole night making love but we have work next day especially him. But he would just go for it, he’d rather go to work late next day.

    So I really get annoyed. I doubt he stays with me mainly for the enjoyment.

    #704188 Reply

    L

    Maybe you could find him a job where his work IS sex. Sounds like a win win to me.

    #704190 Reply

    alia

    From what your describing sex means something different to him that showing love and desire. Like it’s an obsession of sorts? That is somewhat removed from you? I would ask him.

    #704896 Reply

    Torch


    C,

    He is just being honest , nothing else !

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