Missed Texts-more than that wrong here?

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This topic contains 33 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Nicole 1 year, 2 months ago.

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  • #603142 Reply


    I’ve been dating this guy, still very new. Things are fine except sometimes he doesn’t return texts. He usually does soon, even when at work or busy. But in total there have been 3 maybe 4 that I never got a response too. I’ve only send a few texts and they’re for a purpose, we don’t have texting conversations.

    There’s another recent thing. I think something is going on with his job, I don’t know what though. He’s been acting stressed and said that he had a lot going on so I gave him space and it’s been several weeks since we saw each other. Previously I asked if he was still interested and he said yes. He has checked in a bit. And I noticed that he’s no longer listed in the directory on his workplace website, like everything about him has been erased on that.

    I don’t know what’s going on or if he’s fading out because he’s not longer insteresed or what. Thank you for reading my post, any advice is really needed!

    #603148 Reply


    Does he take you on dates?

    #603152 Reply


    Hi L- yes he does. About one a week but we haven’t seen each other for a few weeks.

    I should point out we texted each other about 10ish times total, so the few missed texted seemed fairly significant to me.

    #603153 Reply


    why are you on the directory listing on his workplace website?

    Nicole…leave him alone…if he’s interested…he’ll contact you

    #603155 Reply


    Does he contact you on the phone? Does he ask you out? Pay attention to that. Your relationship is new and if he is having issues at work he may withdraw, especially because the relationship is new he may not feel comfortable opening up to you yet. Don’t take it personally give him some space.

    #603157 Reply


    I just re-read my comment and maybe should clarify. The 10ish times were since we started dating. I’ve reached out once to him during the past few weeks.

    I was searching for an article and found that it was missing, so I was trying to find it and came across the directory.

    #603160 Reply


    We call or text to make plans and save conversations for dates. Except for the occasional check in, but we can go more than a week without contact.

    I will give him space and since my text today got ignored, I’ll let him initiate.

    I guess it’s not even so much that we haven’t seen each other, more like throughout all of when we were dating there were some of ignored texts. It just makes me feel like I can’t reach out.

    #603162 Reply


    A New Mode explanation
    Why a guy doesn’t text back.

    1) If I wasn’t that into her.
    2) If I was really busy with work.
    3) If the girl was being needy.
    4) If I honestly did not have my phone near me.
    5) If I’m with another girl

    #603167 Reply


    Crisula, do you think it’s number 1 or 5? Either of those would be bad.

    I don’t think I’m being needy, I haven’t really done anything I don’t think. If it was 2 or 4, I would have thought he would just get back to me later?

    #603169 Reply


    I really don’t know Nicole…all you can do is see if he will contact you. He is aware that you want to talk to him.

    A good rule in dating, is to ALWAYS have him text first…stick to that rule and you can never go wrong.

    You should also cut off the conversation first.

    Men like the chase Nicole…so just hang in there and hopefully he will contact you.

    #603186 Reply


    Just be ready for the fade-out just in case.

    I’d take my mind off him for now and go do sth else and date other men. He might come back, he might not. Who knows. Just don’t fret about it.

    #603293 Reply


    Thank you so much everyone! I really appreciate it.

    I’ll try not to think about him and will let him do the initiating from now on (if he comes back).

    Let’s say he does come back and I still get some ignored texts, what is a good way to deal with that? It’s really annoying and I want to tell him to know it off but that’s probabaly not going to go well.

    #603297 Reply


    Do not double text, if you get no reply, leave it as such. if you break this rule, then he’ll be ok to “ignore” your texts again and again.

    #603302 Reply


    Nichole, if I am reading this right, you haven’t had any contact with him in a few weeks and the texts you sent were ignored? This relationship sounds over to me. In my book, if I haven’t heard from a guy i am dating in a week I consider that a ghosting. Especially if he’s ignored texts from me. This man is not interested. There is no other explanation. Sorry.

    #603310 Reply


    Please stop playing detective and get on with your life.

    If he is interested he knows exactly how to find you.

    #603312 Reply


    His behavior indicates very low interest. Always assume a man is dating other women until an explicit and honest conversation (and his actions) prove otherwise.

    Never assume anything other than you are one of many women in his rotation. A man who is really interested is calling and reaching out in between dates regularly and making plans to see you more than once a week. And if the ONE day he is seeing you is a weekday….that usually means you are a really LOW priority. He’s saving his weekends for other women or his friends in that case.

    I absolutely think it’s both #1 and #5

    #603317 Reply


    You haven’t seen each other for a few weeks, he ignores your texts, he hasn’t replied to 3 or 4 out of maybe only 10 texts that have been sent since you started dating…and you don’t know if he’s fading out?!?! Come on! I mean use some common sense here. If a guy was interested he wouldn’t go weeks without contacting you, wouldn’t ignore most of the texts you send him. Please just leave this guy alone and move on with your life. He’s not into you.

    And you say you’re not being needy but texting a guy to ask if he’s still interested IS needy. Stop it. You will KNOW when a guy is interested and you won’t have to ask.

    #603377 Reply


    Thanks for the comments.

    I actually did assume he wasn’t interested. When I asked if he was still interested, I was just asking if he wanted to contiune or not just so I know. I didn’t act upset or anything. I thought I was not going to hear from again. It just started to confuse me when he said that he was interested and afterwards started checking in. I never asked him to meet.

    I’m not trying to over-analyze anything. This just felt really weird because he’s not using me or anything. I don’t get why he just doesn’t break if off, because to me these actions indicate someone who isn’t interested.

    We got into an argument after the 3rd date and I think he lost a lot of attraction over that. I mean doesn’t matter now but I don’t like it if he’s not being honest about not being interested.

    #603379 Reply


    We have gone out on weekends. There have also been times where we met twice a week, but mostly it’s just one.

    The reason I asked here, is because I’m on the verge of telling this guy to never contact me again. I don’t know if that an overreaction at this point or not.

    #603380 Reply



    that won’t be necessary since he’s not contacting you

    move on

    #603382 Reply


    Oh I meant if he contacts me, I’m about ready to say that. Sorry I should have more clear.

    #603384 Reply


    no worries hun

    yes..if he contacts you, you should say that

    best of luck

    #603385 Reply


    Nichole, welcome to the wonderful world of dating.

    Plenty of men out there (and women too) do not “break it off.” They just cease contact and let you get the message.

    It’s called ghosting. Hang out here. It is all too common. My definition (some people do not agree) is a ghosting occurs when a person with whom you understood yourself to be in some type of relationship ends it by simply ceasing contact. Some people on here disagree with me and says it can also be ghosting if you disappear at any point…even if you’re just chatting with them and have never met.

    In your case, since you were not exclusive, and you never were in contact with any regularity, he just figured he would fade away. He’s gone though. That you can count on. The worst thing about ghosting is that period where you are left hanging and not knowing what is going on. Once you know, then you can heal.

    #603386 Reply


    The accusations of you having a needy mindset come from you even asking what he wants. This point is so tough for so many women to grasp.

    A truly confident woman, who is secure in her value, doesn’t need to ask! She just sits back and watches a guy’s behavior.

    If he isn’t respectful and thoughtful, and moving things forward in a meaningful way (which will be completely obvious) she cuts bait and throws him back.

    I would be dating other men until someone worthy comes along, to make we want to be exclusive.

    I would NOT be asking this guy what he’s thinking or wanting at this stage, because his LACK of effort would give me ALL the info I needed.

    As in, buh-bye.

    #603387 Reply


    Also, if you didn’t discuss what goals each of you have in dating right now (in general/with the right person) then that is the first mistake.

    If he wants only casual, and you want a relationship, you started off mismatched and wasted your own time.

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