Just Trying to Move on Over Here


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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  JB/Jess 6 days, 17 hours ago.

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  • #627859 Reply

    JB

    There was a guy and I that hung out a couple times. They weren’t dates, although he was quite touchy and flirtatious. I was interested in him, however, things never went anywhere. If he was interested at all, he wasn’t interested enough to pursue. We have to see each other a couple days a week during the winter. He finally told me that he had a girlfriend and that I should “move on and accept it.” I took this as “I have a girlfriend, but also, I’m not interested if I didn’t.” Ok. So I tried to move on in my own way, which included not texting him about anything, not acknowledging him for a while after the fact (I didn’t even say hi or bye), not starting in person conversations, etc. Honestly, I was quite cold towards him, but this is because he wasn’t allowing me the opportunity to move on. It was obvious I was trying to get over things by not engaging with him. After awhile, he stopped letting me ignore him and would say hi and bye/start conversations which I would cut short/compliment me on things/would bring up an inside joke/would try to talk to me even if I was talking to someone else/even if I was blatantly not looking at him, he would tell me to have a goodnight/etc. His friends and brother all started saying hi to me, and I acknowledged them. I warmed up a little (very guarded, though) and asked him how he was a couple weeks ago, because he had come up to me to ask me a question. He told me that he wasn’t dating his “psycho” girlfriend anymore because she was still with her old boyfriend while she had been dating him. I’m not sure if he was looking for sympathy, or what, or what prompted him to tell me about that instead of work or what else was going on in his life. We talked about a few other things, but that was it. Now that I don’t have to see him really until the fall, I am thankful for the opportunity to actually be able to really move on. I’ve got no hopes of him being interested, but why would he tell me to move on and still try to talk to me all the time if it was obvious that I was trying to move on and keep my distance from him? I wouldn’t exactly have called him a friend before the whole thing, but more of an “acquaintance” and he made no indications that he even “wanted to be friends.”

    #627863 Reply

    L

    He was bored?

    #627869 Reply

    Jose

    Yeah its pretty obvious he wasnt interested in you, but rather, the fact that you were interested in him. Once you stopped giving him any kind of attention, he wanted it. Not because he wants you, he just want your attention, and not to sound mean or anything, but that attention could have been from someone else. Im glad you got over him, he was no use anyway 😉

    #627992 Reply

    Jess

    Thanks, Jose. That’s pretty much what I figured, which is why I have tried not to give into it. I sometimes wonder if he thinks maybe he would get a little something-something out of it. Being that he kept finding ways to be touchy and sent a kiss-face emoji after we hung out the first time, I am not really sure what those would’ve been for otherwise. Plus, he once sent a text telling me about how much “p****y” he’s gotten. It was pretty random and I called him out for it, as I wasn’t going to do anything with him if it didn’t involve some commitment first. It’s just annoying when he would walk past me and stare at me, would tell me things such as “I really trust you,” etc. Just buttering me up so I would give him more attention, I guess :/.

    #628014 Reply

    Marina

    He probably just missed the attention. I guess once you started acting disinterested, he wanted the attention again. Not because he was interested in you, but just because he wanted your attention and probably wanted you to chase him to boost his own ego. Sometimes guys like attention from girls, even if they aren’t romantically interested in them. It’s happened to me recently and it sucks.

    #628059 Reply

    JB/Jess

    I’m sorry that happened to you, as well, Marina. It’s so frustrating! They give you just a little hint of interest, but it’s only so they can get attention from us. I had no idea how to act towards him and will have to figure that out before I have to see him often again. The past couple months I’ve struggled with wanting to act cold/ignore him and wanting to talk to him and be friendly at the same time. I was mostly cold. I enjoy talking to him, but at this point, don’t want to give him another second of my attention, no matter how hard he tries to get it.

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