This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Jacklyn 3 weeks, 5 days ago.
June 20, 2018 at 11:55 pm #708973
I have been with my ex for 2 years. I have broken things off for a few months before, and for the second/last time several months ago. The second time I didn’t leave the door open- just said it wasn’t working for me and wished him the best in his future. The reason I left was because he was quite passive (he would always do what I ask though) and I wanted someone that would pursue/initiate more. The only other downside was that he wasn’t all that happy with career-he does very well in general, but hasn’t met his career goals and I think this effects his happiness.
After several months of no contact with him, I am wondering if I made the right decision. He and I “clicked” very well. Except for the above mentioned, he is what I am looking for. I am insanely picky with my checklist of what I look for, but also we get along very well-it just flows. I have dated A LOT, before and after him. I have met such fantastic guys, but my mind always goes back to this guy every time something else doesn’t work- I don’t really get why.
I appreciate any advice. Thanks!!
June 20, 2018 at 11:58 pm #708974
Sorry one more thing- when I broke things off, he didn’t “fight” me on it. He just accepted my decision, which is why I am hesitant to try again as well.June 21, 2018 at 12:03 am #708976
Gah! No!June 21, 2018 at 12:04 am #708977
You dumped him twice. What makes you think he wants you back?June 21, 2018 at 1:01 am #708980
His personality, which is highly unlikely to change, was a reason for you to end things twice. Why would you go back? And it would probably be hurtful to him if you did at this point. You don’t like him. Love means accepting someone the way they are.
I think your mind will stop drifting back to him once you meet someone else you connect with. You aren’t saying “I can’t stop thinking about him, I made a mistake, I’m still in love with him” you are saying ‘yeah, I dunno, can’t seem to find anyone better”.
You really think someone you broke up with twice deserves to be your “settled for” person?
Leave him alone and let him find someone who appreciates him. What you consider passive could be someone elses “sweet and easy going”.June 21, 2018 at 8:11 am #708994
Agree with others. he’s not going to change that part of him, nor should he as its what makes him HIM . You can’t accept that part, its driven you to break up with him TWICE for it, your break up ultimatum didn’t work because you can’t change a person that way—they have to want it more than you do in order for it to happen and he’s perfect OK being him.
Do not contact him. He is not the man for you and you are not the woman for him. The woman for him would be totally OK with that part of his personality. Let him go and eventually you’ll find a man who connects ALL your dots and will love all of him and he’ll love all of you too—anything less is a waste of time and energy.June 21, 2018 at 8:33 am #708996
I’m with the others. You’ve already broken up with him twice because you’re incompatible. You’re not going to suddenly become compatible.
If another guy came along that you liked, you wouldn’t even be considering this.June 21, 2018 at 3:07 pm #709049
Thank you so much. I’ve thought about it more too and I’ll just leave things as is then.