Is he over me?

Oh sweetie! How aweful that he is such a jackass. I have no idea what happened, but he is acting like a jerk. After two months, he owes you a breakup, not a fade out, especially when asked directly. Please lose his number, and remember what he is showing you is who he is. Not very nice. That is who he is….

Thanks Vanessa and Tallady for your input! I am definitely going to give him a lot of space. I haven’t contacted him since Thursday. I’ve been noticing he’s been adding different girls on instagram..idk what’s with that. Today I also saw he had a new top follower in his snapchat best friends list. I can’t figure out if it’s a girl username or boy username.

I guess i’m going a little crazy over this because I’m so confused. The days prior to the last weekend I saw him, he had suggested seeing the rockefeller christmas tree (I was so happy- you don’t do that with just anyone!) and also mentioned that I was probably going to be meeting his brother soon. We ended up not seeing the tree because it was raining really bad. But both of those statements/comments were pretty strong and made me realize how he felt about us.

Maybe he is taking a little break. I mean even after I asked if everything was okay after he didn’t reply to me twice, he kept texting and making the conversation continue. I guess he felt bad that I felt bad? He recently received a new job and works very long days. I do understand that he’s exhausted, but I’m still worried though that he might have met someone else or something.

I wish I could read his mind :(

I’ve gone through something similar recently and I know how frustrating it is when you know you did nothing wrong. SO confusing!! but we must remember when we are feeling bad that it’s something in the GUY’s character.. a guy who is a gentleman wouldn’t behave like such a jerk. once you truly comprehend that a guy is just a jerk, you won’t even want him anymore! :)

Yeah i’m going to see what happens tomorrow. I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m reading through our text messages from the past two weeks. After I contacted him about asking if everything was okay, his responses are actually very normal. It’s just that he hasn’t been initiating/contacting now as much as he did.

I weirdly also noticed that when I put up a snapchat story- he doesn’t look at it. (It tells you which friends view it). So that’s making me scratch my head as well.

If i don’t hear from him tomorrow, I would like to say something to him next week. I don’t know what, but i think it’s important. And this wouldn’t be to get him back, but to say how rude it is for him to fade on someone after seeing one another for 3 months. He should have been honest that he didn’t want to continue dating.

Any advice on what to exactly say?

Amy,

Three months of relationship is still new and you don’t know the real him. Please don’t let someone you don’t know that well to rob your very Merry Christmas. As female, we put so much effort in the relationship by nature. It may not be the best idea to ask men to behave the same in the beginning of the relationship. Relationship is generally not their top priority and purpose being here. Have yourself a merry Christmas and forget him today and appreciate that we can and will create a good life for ourselves.

If I were Christian and dating someone and they did not even send a text on Xmas, it would be over. I just got a text from a man I never met and had said I was not interested in meeting, That is how it should be. It takes 3 seconds.

I felt better last night thankfully. I decided I will not reach out to him at all. I’m always the type of person that wants to know “why” and it bothers me that I can’t figure out what happened. I guess though it doesn’t matter now. He is showing he doesn’t want anything to do with me. It hurts, but there’s nothing more to do.

Part of just feels like it will never work out with anyone. Definitely going to take a long break from dating

I agree with what Vanessa initially posts. Just be cool and let go of trying to control the situation. Know that no matter what, if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be and someone else is in your future. He may just be taking space to assess his feelings and whether he wants to take it further. I would not confront him at all. Not even if he fades. Just know it wasn’t meant to be.

I know the feeling Amy. My situation is slightly different, the ‘guy’ is my sisters boyfriends best friend. We have been texting for over a year now and when we first met he had a girlfriend, it was an on/off relationship that had been going on for nearly 3 years. In March of this year, he was single, we met up for one date and everything was great, we continued to text, but in May he got back with his ex (again). In August, he text, just general conversation (I had been told he was single again prior to him texting me), I was going on holiday 2 days after so he asked could he see me when I came back, I said I’d love to. As soon as I got home, he text me asking how my holiday was. We met up 2 days later and I knew instantly that if I carried on seeing him, I would fall for him. He said straight away that he did not want a relationship for a while, which I respected. We continued to see each other 2 or 3 times a week and I could feel myself completely falling for this guy, which if you knew me, you would be completely shocked by that, it takes me a very, very long time to even reply to a text! I knew he was till in contact with his ex and had also heard he was texting other girls, but I felt I didn’t have a right to say anything because we were not ‘official’ and he had said from day one that he did not want a relationship. So as much as I knew I was falling in love with this guy, I still held back and kept my guard up.
We started seeing each other (by chance) in clubs and bars in our home town and it was just.. awkward. He would just stare at me from across the room but not come over and when I approached him he wasn’t making any effort with me whatsoever, but would continue to keep an eye on me and make sure he was close to me all night.
At the beginning of this month, I realised he would hardly text me anymore, he was starting to ‘like’ girls pictures on Instagram and all his ‘best friends’ on Snapchat were girls. I was obviously confused by this because a couple of weeks before we were absolutely fine.
Two weeks ago, I had a text from him saying ‘I’ve heard you’ve had ‘company’ these past few weekends’. My sisters boyfriend was in the house and I had brought back my GIRLfriend to stay the night, he just presumed it was a guy. I text him back obviously saying that its not true and I wouldn’t do that because I liked him, he replied saying ‘You can do what you like’. He’s obviously bothered, but I know for a fact he has slept with at least 3 girls since we started seeing each other, I don’t understand why it’s one rule for me and another for him.
Like any normal girl, I asked my friends’ advice and they said it’s because he was doing all the work and I was giving nothing back, I went over and over our texts from when we first started talking and not once had I text him first.. In 4 months! On Christmas Eve I phoned him and he declined the call, so I text him everything I thought, regretting not making an effort to start with, but I didn’t do so because I obviously thought he was going to get back with his ex and he didn’t want a relationship, so I didn’t want to get too attached. He phoned me straight away and we talked for over an hour. He said he would phone me the next day and he wants to make ‘us’ work.
Yeah, it is now the day after boxing day and I still have not heard from him. You have no idea how much I wish I could turn back the clock and do things differently. Have I blown it completely with him?

This has been over a month.

Amy, sometimes a guy will go quite for a day or two, he may send a short message but otherwise sometimes unlike us girls their not always up for chatting however this sounds like it’s been going on for more than a few days and it’s obviously bugging you.
As someone who’s been through something very similar, save the upset and right him off. I believe if someone cares they’ll at least explain when you reach out and ask directly, if they can’t well enough said.
It’s news years eve tomorrow so get your friends together and celebrate and I wish you a happy 2015.
P.s I know it’s easier to say right him off and move on but honestly if you can it’s probably the best for this situation otherwise you’ll drag it out rather then cutting loose.