Is he or is he not into me?


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  • #371346 Reply
    lisa

    I meet my current boyfriend during summer taking a University course. We hit it off right away and he started pursuing me. We went out a few times and became intimate and he told.me we were exclusive and he wasn’t interested in other girls…and I told him the same thing. Summer is over and we’re still together, ended having 2 classes together that are about 2 hours long each and we spend lunch time together. We also talk on the phone constantly everyday. The issue is we don’t see eacother outside if school, we don’t go out on Friday or Saturday night. He always complains he’s busy and I am being impatient when I bring up, us not spending.time together.

    What should I do and what does this mean? I am new to dating and don’t really know much about it. TIA

    #371355 Reply
    Aries

    A guys most valuable time is his weekend (unless he works all weekend?) So i would be a little bummed if i never see him on his free time. And hurt!

    He can make any excuse he wants but theyre just excuses (again unless hes working A LOT on weekends or something)

    #371356 Reply
    Fire horse

    Hunny, get a date with someone else on the weekends. He’s busy…. You’re not. :)

    #371363 Reply
    lisa

    No he doesn’t work on the weekends, he babysits his friends child that works on Saturdays and not sure what he does on Sunday even though I talk to him through out the day. I don’t like to ask questions about what he’s doing on his free time so he doesn’t think I am checking up on him or being nosey. Like I said I brought up the issue and I am still waiting for him to do something but nothing and now its starting to effect my attitude towards him during school and we’re getting in stupid arguments. Its just not good.

    #371368 Reply
    Harley

    You are wasting your time.hes putting NO effort in. Are you SURE he babysits ???? All sounds fishy to me. And IF he does babysit. ..why can’t you go with him. Dies he even take you OUT on dates or is it just hookups for sex ! Honestly…I’d look for a guy who puts waaaay more effort into me and gives me attention. I say ditch him. And you have NO IDEA what he does Sundays but you are exclusive !???? Can you see how WRONG that is ???

    #371369 Reply
    Ali

    If he was really into you, he’d be spending his free time with you. He’d want to see you on the weekends and would make time for you. You’ve tried talking about it, but you’re continuing to date him even though he’s not making enough of an effort so why should he change?

    #371389 Reply
    Stefanie

    No weekend time= not serious about you. At a certain stage it’s OK to ask questions and you should know what he does on the weekends.

    #371497 Reply
    Stacey

    Hey there I also need some advice. I’ve been talking to this guy for almost two months now and I feel like I have to beg him to hang out with me. He has this friend that’s a girl and sees her every weekend and sometimes during the week! When he is with her he is short with me and tells me that she is getting upset that he is on the phone texting! He has told me that he told her he is talking to someone. He also tells me he likes me a lot! So anyways we were talking a lot phone calls texts but this past weekend he was at her house the whole weekend and has been very short with me since Saturday! I asked him why he has been distant and he said he was sorry he has been busy then said and I told you were are taking us day by day! What should I do ? I like him a lot we get along great when we are together but I feel like this friend of his gets the best of him and all his time! Please help me :(

    #371510 Reply
    Raven

    Stacey, see other guys!
    He doesn’t sound like much of a catch…

    #371526 Reply
    Jannie

    Women like you are a reason why the “family” is getting messed up. You stood before your friends, family and god and said till death due us part. That means “we are going to go through hell, but we will make it work”. Of course the going is going to get rough but ANYTHING can be worked out. This is just said. People need a licence to get married.

    #372148 Reply
    Gina

    Are you sure he is not married? This “friend” he spends all his time with could be a wife or serious girlfriend. I’ve had that happen.

    #372227 Reply
    carsyn

    im sorry to say this but he does not want to be with u any more and he does not know how to say it um aand i thank thats it

    #372228 Reply
    carsyn

    or he is cheatting with you with another girl

    #372543 Reply
    becca

    I’m a junior in high school and i had a really close relationship w this guy last summer… we were going really really well but then school started and i stopped taking to him and stopped replying to him because ive been too occupied w school… now i started talking to him again… but he doesn’t start the conversation anymore idk if that’s because of what i did or hes just uninterested. He doesnt say god night but continues the conversation the next day evem if my replies are not exactly worth replying to. He flirted with me the last time we talked and now he invited me to talk to him again but i refuesd then later last night he stopped replying… i dont know if he’ll reply tomorrow or not but do u think i should spill that i miss him and does this mean he still likes me or he doesn’t anymore????

    #372544 Reply
    becca

    Dude he’s probably cheating on u cos hes too chicken to break it off

    #372695 Reply
    Maria

    Lisa, I’ve been in a similar situation. I think this guy might either be married or have a girlfriend. Have you been to his place? Is he unavailable to take calls at certain times particularly evenings/nights/weekends? Have you met any of his close friends or family? The best indicator is your own intuition, you wouldn’t have posted this question if you weren’t feeling like something wasn’t right.

    I know you will probably ignore what you know because you don’t want to ruin what you do have but you are giving this man your all and you deserve better.

    #372710 Reply
    Joy

    After my break up of 8 years I reconnect with a high school friend who back then did not interest me. He is single no kids, I on the other hand have a little boy. We texted n talked for a few weeks before going on a date. We connected so well that we ended up sleeping together that night and went to see him the following week to his place for the second time I called him my ex guy name in his ear this time while being intimate, He never brought it up and I did like nothing happened, kept talking and texting but then we stoped. he didn’t text me and I didn’t either. I decided to try to work things out with my ex for the sake of my son who is four, I felt like I owed my son a family and their was still a lot of sexual attraction with my ex. Things didn’t work out with my ex and I completely broke it off knowing their was to much baggage and I did not trust him anymore after he cheated. one day i get a message from my friend he lives in a L.A and I live a little more then an hour away we start talking and texting and make plans to meet up again, then one morning I get a message from his girl friend telling me they were broken off but are back together so stay away from him I do. A month later we start talking again and he isn’t with her no more they broke up and we text all the time but don’t see him that much cuz of the distance and he recently got a DUI. In the whole time period we have been talking we have been intimately a few times but we talk on a regular bases like every day I know he is very attracted to me and we have fun when we are together so why does he not come see me were I live but he invites me to his place to stay a day or two but I live with my parents and it’s hard to get away and I have my son full time so I always say I can’t but yet he texts with me all day and tells me what his doing and we are friends on social media. I really like him and I want an honest opion if there’s hope. I am very attractive and hardworking girl who is recently single and have men asking me on dates all the time should I just move on an ignore him completely.

    #372711 Reply
    Harley

    Joy. ..he’s using g you like a piece of meat. just to have sex. dump his sorry ass. He will never change.

    #373164 Reply
    Cynth

    Hi, I would like someone’s wise advice:

    I am writing with a man abroad since 1 year who wanted email/friendhip from beginning with several people. Through our mailings I developed deeper feelings. He though always stated to only want a friendship, as he had been having bad experiences in relationships before, suffering from panic attacks. A few months ago he had sent me a mail with xoxo. I hadn’t answered this sign at that time as I hadn’t seen this seriously. About a month ago I signed with XX which he also didn’t return to me.
    How much hope is there if he is sending tiny flirts in between but mainly writing about his daily life to me. And what is it he really wants from me if he continues this type of communication with me? Will it possibly have to end once?

    Cynth

    Cynth

    #373170 Reply
    Stefanie

    Joy, Cynth:

    You have fantasy relationships with kind of strange men. Only people with very low self esteem get into situations like you are both describing.

    Why are you avoiding real relationships with good men? Something to ask yourself. Instead of chasing after unavailable men, how about becoming a healthy, whole person who then attracts someone decent for a real relationship, not penpal/texting nonsense?

    love, Stefanie

    #373175 Reply
    Cynthi

    So, is a pen friendship nothing that can be developed? Is it just a “nothing”?

    #373188 Reply
    Sherri

    It is a PEN PAL nothing else. Also he clearly mentioned that he is only looking for a pen pal.

    #373752 Reply
    Paula

    Since July this year I’ve been seeing off and on a man who I’ve had a crush on since I was 14 year’s old. He started by messaging me on a dateing site called plenty of fish. He’s also been a friend of mine on facebook for 4 years but he never had communicated with me on facebook in the whole 4 years. I asked him about the fact his facebook status was in a relationship he said he was living with his ex wife. They were trying again but it wasn’t working out and he was vary unhappy. We exchanged numbers and he called me emediatly and we we’re on the phone for almost 3 hours. We talked about everything even that im bi sexual, he said he and his ex wife had talked about a threesome and if I’d be willing to meet her. I agreed. The next day i went over to there house, she mete on there porch. I was able to see right away she was not interested in any woman joining them. When he(Guy) walked out , the moment we looked at each other i felt an attraction like I’d never experienced before. By the look on his face it was mutual. He barely spoke the whole hour and a half I was there, first thing the next morning he messaged me good morning, we ended up talking threw text all day, ending at night with good night. This went on for almost a week when he called and said that he’d told her he wanted to start seeing me and he was vary attracted to me, at first she said fine but the day he was to come over to spend the night with me she kicked him out, needles to say I let him move in with me. He was a bit pushy about having a threesome, so I placed adds on a couple sites trying to find someone, because it didn’t happen in the time he wanted (two weeks ) he went back to his ex. He refused to stop seeing me and tried to get her to agree to an open relationship. She agreed up to our date night six days after he’d gone back to her she’d kicked him out again and he was back with me. This time a little longer with me, almost 3weeks, but once again he went back to her, but we didn’t talk for the first few days but he eventually contacted me and we were back to constantly texting, this time he was coming over a couple times a week for sex and planning a threesome as well. About a month latter he told me that I just had to be patient and he’d be back with me, he said I was the end goal, not her. Latter that night he showed up with all his belongings in the back of his truck. I was happy but leary, i had already developed vary stong feelings for him and was scared of being hurt if he went back to her again, he said as long as I gave him the regular threesomes I’d have him for good, and that he’d burned that bridge with his ex wife, his last to times, just before he’d decide to go back out of the blue id found out they had been talking about 5 to 8 days before he’d go back so this time I insisted on them not talking for a couple months, I was actually hoping it would give us a fair chance to see if he’d feel for me what I felt for him. He agreed. We ended up having to threesomes with to different women, the first he was unable to perform, he said it was because he’d been drinking, over the first couple weeks he’d shown me pictures of he and his ex wife having sex while drunk, so his excuse not being able to perform after drinking was an excuse that by week 4 he was using often. I wanted sex dayly if not more, he’d always complained his ex never wanted to as often as he did, go figure the tables turned, he didn’t want to nearly as often as I did. He barely kept up with the threesomes, that i was not getting much attention during anyway. He’d always check his facebook everyday and his text messages. Wile sitting rite beside me. He also kept all the pictures of her on it and inhis phone. Not to many people were aware of he and I being a couple. He had introduced me to his daughter who’s 21. We hit it off, she and our mutual friend said how much happier he was since we’d been together, and for the first time Guy got along great with his daughters husband. And was now allowed to visit as long as i was there to. His ex wife had a tendency of starting fights with Guys daughter and instigated fights between Guy and his son in law. So they were no longer welcome to visit his daughters home together. At about ten days before this last break up he started being weird with his phone, first never putting it down, then muted it, laying it face down so I wouldn’t see messages coming in, and waiting to read messages until I was out of the room. I confronted him about his behavior and he denied it. By Sunday he was extremely distant, just sat in bed all day while I served him his meals like i always did. Forgot to mention we’d started saying I love you too each other a few weeks before this, he said it first. I knew something was wrong but he wouldn’t talk, just kept saying nothing is wrong, his phone was on mute all day and he didn’t touch it till later Sunday evening while we were bbq dinner. He was obviously making sure I couldn’t see who he was texting next morning he left for work said I love you on his way out, latter that morning he said he was mad at me that I’d grilled his buddy for information or dirt on him, when he got home he said he was going to be friends with his ex wife no matter what I said or felt so I told him her or me and he packed his stuff and went back. There back to normal like nothing ever happened. Like i never happened. My heart is broken, I’ve never fell for anyone like this, i don’t feel like I’ll ever get threw a whole day without crying. Part of me is waiting for him to come back cuz he always does, but I’m hoping he just stays away. I don’t know what to believe, he really had me and his daughter and a couple friends convinced he was happy and in love. How can he fool so many people, do you think he’s fooling all of us or did he get cold feet, his mother said he doesn’t cope to good with change.

    #374077 Reply
    kriti

    Hi, I am seeking help, yet again, from my anonymous friends on a personal issue.?
    It might stretch a bit too long but kindly bear with it as only then you would be able to understand my case properly and advise me on the same accordingly.

    So I met this guy through a common friend and we hit off pretty well. He had come to Delhi to submit his thesis and was here for a month. We would talk and chat initially and then started meeting up for coffee or drinks. He confessed that he likes me too. You can say he was head over heels for me. And i was the one who would bring him to the ground level when he would fly with his own thoughts regarding me

    One fine day his best friend came over and we all met up. Let’s call him Mr. X. So Mr. X has had his own personal issues. He has undergone a divorce. Went back to talking to his Ex girlfriend and is having issues with her as well. So the day he met us and I left from there…the very next day I could see a change his my guy’s behaviour…He went like “Let’s take things little slow…as you can see even Mr. X is going through a tough phase, so I feel we need to give it some time”.

    I was taken aback. The guy who was into me so much had changed his mind overnight. and this of course was because his friend in my presence kept on telling us to go slow, go slow, all the time. My guy’s friend through his experiences and talks influences my guy and he starts getting aloof of me.

    I know it’s not a good reason enough to stay on with a guy who i feel is getting influenced by his friend and doesn’t value me or my behavour with him.

    Another contributing factor that adds to the reason that my guy doesn’t call me as much as i would to him, (and seriously, i call him just once day) is that he is back in his home town where he is surrounded by his dad in office and an extended family the rest of the time…n i know he is genuinely busy as a person….he does call but either when he is either free, happy or high…it’s like i shouldn’t count but the ratio of our calls or texts are 4:10…..he tells me that he scared to get another heartache…even though he was the one who approached me…am confused…has he lost interest in me? or holding himself back? or scared seeing his best friend’s situation and conversations with him? What should I do? Should I let him go?

    #374481 Reply
    Lynda

    Sweetie – send him a text. Hi Sweetie, you’re a fabulous guy but this is just not working for me. Good Luck. x and can it right there and then. You are not a dishcloth.

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