This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by sarah 3 months, 1 week ago.
January 13, 2018 at 11:27 am #678641
On Wednesday night my best friend came into town that I haven’t seen in a long time and we went out for drinks and caught up on our lives. I told her all about my amazing boyfriend and how great we are doing. I really love my boyfriend a lot and am so lucky. However, while I was sharing about someone that I used to have feelings for I started to cry about why things didn’t work out. The guy that I cried about was honestly not even good to me and we never even dated so I don’t know why I was upset about it unless it was because of the drinks I was having.
I feel super guilty about it and I don’t know what that meant because I really love my boyfriend and even the fact that I was thinking and feeling emotional about the other guy makes me feel uncomfortable. Does this mean that I don’t love my boyfriend anymore because I thought about someone else? I’m just so embarrassed that I would cry over someone from the past and I think if my boyfriend found out he might get upset. How do I move on from this situation?
January 13, 2018 at 11:47 am #678645
Taylor you love different people in different ways. You never dated the “bad” guy so your feelings did not get a chance to live a full lifecycle, otherwise you’d probably be “I am so glad he is out of my life”. You had a nostalgic moment for something that could have been, which is always much better in our imagination than in reality, this does not mean you do not love your current BF. Maybe there is less passion with him, but nice stable relationships are almost never fiery. LOL. You had a couple of drinks, were you were PMS too? Look at your emotions without placing guilt. You did not do anything, whatever you felt, you felt. A few months later you’d feel differently. Each person has this. You don’t know what your BF is feeling sometimes. Every one of us feels things like that, we are all human. Everyone has doubts, regrets, nostalgia, stop blaming yourself. Focus on the good things in your current relationship. A nice caring decent guy is so hard to come by these days, you are lucky, so make him feel valued and appreciated. Over the years, what matters is what we do, how we show our love and care to our partners one small thing at a time, day after day, week after week.January 13, 2018 at 12:27 pm #678654
It means you’re finally letting him go…January 13, 2018 at 10:31 pm #678760
I have the same problem. I am in a good relatiosnhip, but I can’t give up on the past. There are two men from my past who are hounting me – my beloved ex-fiance, the sweatest man on earth, I always miss the security and the connection that I’ve had with him. and there is the player, with whom I’ve cheated on my wonderfyl ex who, sorry for a clichee bu that’s true – was a sex god. Eventually I broke up wth both of them,it’s been years, and I am in a good relationship now – but I can’t get over them. I miss both of them, I loved them both in differetn ways. And sometimes I feel like I am betrayig my bf because even when lying next to him, I miss them. I loved them both – I loved the friendship with my ex-fiance and I was almost a slave to the sex with the lover. He was my addicttion. Now, my bf is woderful. He doesn’t know of any of this. But I keep dreaming of those guys.January 13, 2018 at 11:35 pm #678768
I really don’t know what to do about this. Perhaps I was supposed to wait longer after the break up to meet someoe new? But I have waited for more than 2 years and I am 33!! I am trying to accept, as Emma said, that this is just natural, you never really forget about an ex love.January 13, 2018 at 11:42 pm #678769
please give us advice or at least some reassurancce !! My bf is great and I juts avoid my exes, but I honestly don’t think I would be able to control myslef if I bumped into one of my exes. I have very strong, although very diffrent, but REALLY STRONG feelings for them. I honestly think if I saw my ex now I wouldbe wet in seconds and I would not control myslef. And it’s been years. I feel horrible, I want to leave it behind, my current bf is wonderful.