This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by kaye 4 months ago.
February 19, 2018 at 12:58 am #689669
This is my last resort at trying to figure out what to do with my current situation with this guy. Im in college, a sophomore, and i met this guy who lives right down the hall from me in the very beginning of the year. We hang out every day I just go over and hang out with him and his roommate early every day.
From Day 1, I knew I liked him and my feelings got stronger. We became close friends very fast; he tells me things he won’t tell other people and has opened up to me emotionally even though is a very, very closed off person, he gives me books to read that mean a lot to him and I can tell he cares about me by the way he looks at me even though he isn’t the best with expressing his feelings with words.
I also lost my virginity to him, and we are currently friends with benefits now. There is just a lot of chemistry. He is a very confident guy, and likes to hook up with girls but right now he isn’t looking for a relationship specifically with this one girl he had gone on a couple dates with. We are close where we ask each other about people we are seeing.
At this point, I really just want to tell him how much I care for him and how much I want to be with him, but I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.
Thank you so much for reading and for your advice!!
February 19, 2018 at 4:22 am #689680
At this point, you’re only friends with benefits. He dates the other girl, why not date you? Seems he’s not serious about you so DO NOT tell him that you care and want to be with him. I think it will be awkward and embarrassing for both of you. I think you should distance yourself from him a bit and don’t go over to his room so often!February 19, 2018 at 7:02 am #689690
No, don’t tell him you “love” him. I don’t think you know what love is. Don’t waste your feelings on someone who isn’t into you. And he’s clearly not. This is just sex for him. Why not cut him off and find someone who actually wants all of you??February 19, 2018 at 12:04 pm #689716
I think that you’ve romanticized a lot of you and this guys ‘story’ in your head which we’re all guilty of doing with people we like.
We spend a lot of time and effort trying to de-code men and their behaviour but they really are very simple. And it took me a while to realise this myself.
If they want to he with you, they make it so. There will be no mixed messages. As much as it is shows investment that he has chosen to share emotional info with you, it still does not mean he wants a relationship with you.
I would keep contact to a minimum with him because at the moment he is very used to having you around. Don’t be so available, and see what his reaction is. Considering your strong feelings I believe it’s in your best interests to stop the friends with benefits sitiation to avoid your feelings being hurt.
Find a guy who really wants and values you, he’s out there!February 19, 2018 at 12:05 pm #689718
*situationFebruary 19, 2018 at 3:14 pm #689753
I think it’s unfair to you to know you love him outside of dating. I have no doubt you feel intensely about him but what’s there to love at this point…that he shares a book and ideas with you? How is he tapping into your soul? How does he show the world what you mean to him? A FWB is convenient…step out of that if you can and see what comes of the relationship. Then you can better test your feelings.February 19, 2018 at 3:56 pm #689758
As women we are amazing at making excuses for a guy. Here you talk about how this guy is a very, very closed off person yet then you say how he’s a confident guy who likes to hook up with girls, and there’s one girl he’s gone on a couple dates with. Guess what? If he’s confident and open enough to ask another girl out, he can ask you out!! If he were falling in love with you do you really think he’d be asking out another girl? If he sees you everyday why can’t he take you out and start dating you? Because he doesn’t want to! You are meeting all his physical and emotional needs and he doesn’t have to do anything except loan you a few books to read and you think you have some deep emotional connection. Please don’t make a fool of yourself and tell him you love him. You need to start distancing yourself from him and NOW!! As a matter of fact you finding another guy to date and not spending your time with him may be the only way he’ll step up if he does have feelings for you.