This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Abby 6 months ago.
August 22, 2017 at 11:22 am #649793
Hi everyone. I used to have a relation with a guy that I thought he was great (on my mind he is still great), he cheated on me with this girl. She really looks like a model. She seems to have a great personality too.
I can’t help but hating her a lot. And that makes me feel like a bad person. I can’t help thinking she ruined my relation, (though I know it was his fault really). I consider myself good looking, but also can’t help comparing me to her, and really she does look like a model, I know she looks better than I do. It hurts my self esteen a lot. I feel he changed me for someone who is better at everything.
I don’t know how to stop hating this person. And get over this whole story.August 22, 2017 at 11:58 am #649798
You should really hate HIM!
HE cheeted…August 22, 2017 at 12:26 pm #649810
Yeah life isn’t fair hun. You know hating her is irrational. Don’t spend time on it she already has so much, don’t let her take your dignity. There are other men out there, and one is just for you.August 22, 2017 at 1:19 pm #649819
Just as Raven says and what you’re already aware of yourself.
Don’t hate her, hate HIM. If he wasn’t feeling it in your relationship or was feeling it more for her, he should have broken up with you first, but he didn’t and instead cheated, because he’s a spineless coward.
I’m sure you don’t want to be dating a spineless coward, so in a way, he did you a favor, now you can move on with your life and date a much better man.
As for her, it’s not her fault if she wasn’t aware of it and if she was, well… they deserve each other. Personally, I wouldn’t want to ever be in a relationship in which I was aware he was cheating on his previous girlfriend with me. I wouldn’t trust that man as far as I could throw him. There’s a likely chance he will cheat on her same as he did to you, you reap what you sow.August 22, 2017 at 2:21 pm #649834
You have choices. U can use all your negative thoughts to hate her (which is only going to destroy you from the inside). Or you can just blame what happened on human nature. I know the feeling of hating another, but I also know how freeing it is to just let it go and realize this woman is just like you ~ she’s just trying to go through life. Best thing you can do is just move on and be the best version of yourself. Good luck ☺️August 22, 2017 at 2:35 pm #649844
You can stop hating her by learning to love yourself.
Being cheated on is not a good feeling but, you have to let that go and move forward.
He wasn’t a good guy remember that he may very well cheat on her.
Please focus on your life and doing things to rebuild your self esteem.August 22, 2017 at 3:02 pm #649867
Thanks girls, I was having a bad moment. We have common friends and I often get her as suggestion on facebook, and I saw she changed her profile picture for one of us together on vacations on a place we (me and him) always planned to go.
I know this will sound irrational and stupid, but I feel she stole my life completely. They are doing the things we wanted to do. They look so happy while I feel sad still. And she really is gorgeous.
I’m very bitter too, because they were seeing each other for like 4 months (cheating on me) during that time he treated me very badly. I could tell something was wrong, I just didn’t know what exactly, and I wish he just told me he was in love with another person instead of treating me like crap until I opened my eyes. So she hits a nerve on me, because she was the source of a big pain for many many time.August 22, 2017 at 3:02 pm #649868
I meant she changed her picture for one of them. Not “us”.August 22, 2017 at 3:24 pm #649875
Take your power back and stop saying she stole your life.
While in this moment you can’t see it, your path was not meant to continue with him. Start accepting that and the healing can begin. Time to create new memories without this guy.
One day you will meet someone else and see it this way but, you will prolong that process if you keep harping on them and their life.
Lastly, STOP GOING ON HER FACEBOOK!!! Social media sadly has made it harder for people to move on because in one click you can see what an ex is doing. Long gone are the times that when you broke up you couldn’t get a glimpse in the life of an ex.August 22, 2017 at 3:32 pm #649880
I will let you in on a truth I learned long ago. Hate is such a useless emotion. It ONLY affects you.
The other parties are living their lives while you are stuck in this limbo/obsession.
You HAVE to learn to let it go. And the best way to do that is to realize this WAS NEVER the guy for you. Focus on being the best version of YOU possible.
Throw yourself into hobbies, activities, and your passions (or find some new ones). Get active and work out if you aren’t already. Look at it this way, this situation can propel you to be the version of you that you’ve always wanted to be. You can learn and grow from this.
The greatest pain is usually the greatest opportunity for personal growth. You are stuck in a fantasy over this guy. She didn’t steal your dream, because he was never the person for you. He’s a cheating, lying, jerk. I know it hurts, but a lot of this is just your ego talking. You have to relinquish your “right” to be angry over this, and see it as a blessing that the wrong guy is off your hands.
Hating someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. They are completely unaffected, but you are killing yourself (and any opportunity at happiness) by holding onto this hate. It’s made you a prisoner. Don’t let then have this hold over you!!
It’s a prison of your own making.
The good news is, you can remove these chains/bonds of hurt and anger from your life, the moment you accept and let go. Forgive yourself for falling for a douche, and learn from it (what signs you missed, how to vet men better, and how to walk away as soon as someone is disrespectful, rude, or treats you badly.
You CAN take your power back. Relegate these two irrelevants into your past, and leave them there.
You deserve happiness, but it is a choice, just as letting go or CHOOSING to continue hating is.August 22, 2017 at 3:33 pm #649881
Block her & him…August 22, 2017 at 3:47 pm #649882
My grandmother used to say that hating someone was like drinking a cup of poison and hoping for the other person to die from it.August 22, 2017 at 4:02 pm #649886
What the others have said is right! Use this to make you a better person, leave them both behind. I highly doubt they’ll be very happy together, given how they started out and yep, “once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater!” But that’s beside the point. The point is, It’s time to take the focus off of her and back to you. Time to start healing and move on. You deserve waaaaaay better, time to start believing it!!!August 22, 2017 at 6:09 pm #649911
I hear you about the feelings you have. You feel you must be less because of what happened. But, consider this, do you really want someone who would cheat…or would you want someone who would be direct and upfront and say, “I need to break up with you.”
This is a question of HIS character. Second, if she knew he was with you then it is also a question of HER character.
Sadly, looking at this from the outside, I think you may be the only winner here. What has she got? A pretty face that won a cheater…she ain’t got anything any body wants.
Give me a man with honesty and character all day long. You lost nothing.August 22, 2017 at 8:09 pm #649934
Great advice from Phillygirl! Helped me. Too.