This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Raven 4 months ago.
July 17, 2017 at 5:48 pm #641909
Hi all, my bf took me out last night and bought me a gift. We were all happy and having fun up until the moment he pursued for sex. I think he was very happy that he bought me a gift and got excited as usual. I Told him I might get very tired the next day because I worked 9 hours already and I have a 10 hour shift next day. I said if I don’t need to work the next day then it’d be fine even if I stay up. He touched my body and said it only needed 10 minutes. I really felt bad at that moment.
He didn’t drive that night so I’d have to drive him home. And earlier that day I told him I caught a cold and didn’t feel well. I didn’t want to disappoint him by canceling the date so we went out. And I did tell him felt sleepy during the date. If we are to have sex and I have to drive him home and work the next day it’d be too much. So I asked him to stay the night if we are to have sex and I drive him home next morning when i go to work. But he didn’t like it because he normally starts work later than me he didn’t want to wake up early. I told him if he didn’t make things easier for me its not my fault. Then he decided to go home without having sex. On the way we started to fight. I told him you always have to leave you just cannot stay the night. He became very upset and said it was not true, he did stay the night many times and this time it was because he didn’t want to get up that early in morning and go with me. I said if I were you I’d just stay because my gf wants me to. In my head I just felt he wanted me to do what he wanted but he could not compromise. On the way I sped up a few times and I knew he knew I was angry. When he got off the car he hesitated a bit, said thank u to me and asked me to drive safe. I didn’t look at him I just said ok and left. We didn’t contact each other for a day. I know he is angry. Did I do it wrong?July 17, 2017 at 5:55 pm #641910
You explained that you hadn’t felt well and tired and had to work. And you agreed to spend time anyway. It’s just a little speed bump. It will be ok. Of course he can’t help he wants to enjoy sex with his woman. Next time you see each other you will have great sex and all will be forgiven. Tell him you understand he’s a manly man and you dam well know it!!!!July 17, 2017 at 6:53 pm #641917
Do not speed for any reason…people get killed that way.
Punch a pillow but do not speed in a car please.
I agree with Anne that you two will make up.July 17, 2017 at 8:26 pm #641931
You were a little more wrong than he was LOL. But it is a small thing, it will pass, do not worry about it.
However from a person who’s been married for a while, let me give you an advice, do not turn your man down if he asks for sex, unless it is every day and in excess, and especially not when he bought you a gift. Imagine things from his perspective, he was anticipating how happy and pleased you’d be after ghe gives you this gift, and like most men, they work on a “reward” based system so to speak, where was his reward this time? At the very least you should have thanked him many times, hugged him, told him something sweet. Of course you were tired but relationships take efforts. Develop situational awareness and especially be careful when you refuse sex.July 17, 2017 at 8:57 pm #641941
Emma, I understand every single point in your reply. And I even discuss with him about rejecting sex. Both him and I are very busy working hard and really get tired. I did explain to him my work situation so he knows everything he should know. The thing is he just doesn’t care what could happen the next day. He’ll just go ahead do it then next day complains to me he’s very tired. And not to mention I am tired too. I absolutely hate this. It feels that whether I do it or not I am in the wrong. And I hated it too when he insisted to touch me and said it only took 10 minutes. He thought about spending time and energy to have sex but would not want to cut his sleeping time to give me some company and saves me from driving him home late night. I just cannot get past this.
And about the gift, seriously I suggested we go another day cos I really needed rest. I went later just not to disappoint him : (July 17, 2017 at 8:58 pm #641943
There is some horrible advice being given here!!July 17, 2017 at 9:31 pm #641955
You said it Raven. Emma, if you’ve been married for so long I”m not clear on why you are here posting so often? Is your marriage in trouble or something or are you just looking for an ego boost? Your advice is way off base pretty frequently. She doesn’t owe him sex because he bought her a gift. You’re out of practice on the dating scene since you’ve been out of it for so long, your value system hasn’t caught up with the times. SMH.July 17, 2017 at 10:27 pm #641970
Anon2, oops Raven