How to get a second date?


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  • #551144 Reply
    Rita

    Happy Tuesday everyone! I met this guy for a first date 2 weeks ago, was a great first date. He followed up after we said goodbye with a text saying was great etc. Then initiated the next few days every day, but nothing since. And he looked really keen and all so I am confused now if he will ask me or not. I guess we both are busy, but not that much. Is he just playing it cool or am I being forgotten.
    I don’t really want to initiate a conversation cause that may seem like I am seeking his attention.
    It’s okay if we don’t see each other again, but funny enough we had this convo at the date as I mentioned I just composed my mate’s “lets never see each other after the first date” message for a girl and he said yeah that is so nice to do it so noone is sitting around.
    I don’t see why he would string me along, did not seem like the guy.
    Suggestions apart from wait and see, which is probably the way to go haha

    #551148 Reply
    Annie

    He probably won’t ask you out again, or he is playing it extremely cool. Which is a possibility, of course.

    #551154 Reply
    Maria

    Did you initiate ANY texting after he had initiated several times? If not, then this could be your answer. Men need to lead, absolutely, but you do need to show some interest back to him. But do not ask him out! Try starting a nice conversation a couple of times, but with something to talk about, not just how was your day. It might not work, don’t have your hopes high, but you can try and see. Do not hint about getting together, men are not dumb and not thick, if he is not asking you he has his reasons.

    #551160 Reply
    Vanessa

    He’s not stringing you along. If he’ has stopped contacting you, then he’s doing the opposite.

    #551164 Reply
    Khadija

    Rita,
    Its been two weeks I think its safe to say he wasn’t feeling it the way you were.
    I’d move forward and date others.
    Keep in mind great first dates don’t always lead to anything and that’s okay.
    There is someone out there that you won’t have to wonder about.

    #551221 Reply
    Rita

    Khadija, yeah that is possible, but he acted keen during the week after our date. Kept messaging and all, and even last time we talked he mentioned we should meet up and he will message about it – just hasn’t happened yet and a few days have passed since…hence I am wondering if we are taking it slow or nit interested.

    #551224 Reply
    Khadija

    If he is interested in seeing you again he will follow up.
    It truly is that simply.
    If he wants to take things slow that’s fine but he should also clue you in on that.
    Taking things slow and not being interested are not one in that same.
    Instead of placing this energy on this guy remember there are other guys out there.

    #551238 Reply
    Tallspicy

    As long as you are warm, playful, flirty, receptive, responsive and appreciative, you cannot control anything else. Most likely the momentum is gone or he was only middle interested….

    #551265 Reply
    Tomm

    He is gone with the wind if you ask me.

    #551274 Reply
    caetru

    I might initiate one time at this point. Just say Hi, how have you been lately?. If he doesn’t respond you have the answer. If he does respond give it another week and if he doesn’t ask you out again then assume that he isn’t that interested.

    #551276 Reply
    Rita

    He’s not going to ask you out again. Stop responding to his messages and forget about him. And don’t worry about “why” he kept texting you. Could be a variety of reasons, but you’re wasting your time and energy guessing the explanation. All you need to focus on is if he’s asking you out or not; that’s the real test of interest, not texting.

    #551296 Reply
    Kathy

    If you met him online, he might have a short attention span thinking there are so many choices.

    #551310 Reply
    Shannon

    I had a guy I met online not too long ago do something similar. Told me he had a great date, texted a bit afterwards, seemed nervous, kept seeking reassurance that I liked him etc etc…even went so far as to suggest another date…then never followed up, never asked me out again…occasionally he’ll do something weird on match were we met, like my photo or “view” me…shrugs, he’s just not that interested. Maybe like Kathy said, liked me well enough, but that are so many choices.

    #551314 Reply
    Ollie

    Do you know his dating history? My guess is that he thinks you are wonderful, but he’s still hung up on an ex or somehow not ready to dive in head first. That happens. It has nothing to do with any inadequacy on your part.

    I’m not making this up. My adult son came over last night to tell me why he let his latest crush fade away. He’s not ready. Dangit! Kinda looking forward to grandchildren. :)

    #551323 Reply
    Rita

    Yeah thank you. Well still nothing and 4 days passed since he mentioned we should go out again and he will drop a message later or whatever he phrased it. Well I don’t see why he would even say it if no intention to do so but this is beyond me at this point I guess!

    #551379 Reply
    Peter

    Relax. He will come round.

    #551389 Reply
    Lilla

    Not sure. But I don’T think he is majorly interested. Unless he is extremely busy with something or just takes it slow as other have said. Sadly not much else to do but wait and see. You cannot make someone like you. Or ask you out. He dropped it that you should see each other, so I guess he is interested in a way, could be genuinely just caught up in something. Wait and you have your answer

    #551408 Reply
    Inna

    You most likely won’t get a second one, but maybe I am wrong.

    #551417 Reply
    LG

    Rita is the guy still texting you?

    If he is or even if he isn’t texting you everyday… what is the big deal to suggest a date? I mean really we are so worried about appearing desperate yet we are waiting for their text every minute. If you suggest a 2nd date and he does not follow through then there is your answer the guy is not interested. You delete his number and move on to the next guy.

    Trust me I have done the same thing wondered, overnalyzed and then I said screw it I am just going to go with what I feel. If I get rejected then so be it (as of now have not :-). However I tell you one thing once you have been through some rough patches your strength and confidence is built up. Our biggest fear is rejection so we avoid anything that would cause us to be rejected. We “assume” it so already we are avoiding something that isn’t even guaranteed. Hey what if he says “yes” and actually goes on another date?

    That is MO…I know many say let the guy lead and chase. However this is not chasing your asking him a simple question…if he doesn’t follow through you delete if he does then you back off and let him come after you. The 2nd date your confident, happy and free. Show him how great you are!!!!!!

    #551419 Reply
    Rita

    Hi LG, thanks for your reply. Well yeah, the thing is we last exchanged messages on Friday, where he mentioned we should meet up the weekend or if not, then definitely during the week. I said sure, I know he was busy the weekend had people visiting him or whatever. He said he would drop me a message.
    So that is why I think if I message now that kinda looks sad as he said he would. I am not concerned about rejection or whatnot, I can handle it, it’s not like I am in love with him. But you see, I would think I look desperate as he said he would message me and he did not then I shoot a message? Seems like I have no options, which isn’t true as everyone has options.
    Don’t get em wrong I am not obsessing over him – I simply fancied him and thought would be fun for a second date – it only got under my skin a bit as he followed up then had a change of heart or I don’T now.

    #551515 Reply
    Rita

    I give up now I think. :(

    #551516 Reply
    Khadija

    Well then next…. he is not the only man out there.

    #551528 Reply
    Sun

    If you met him online, he is dating others. He’s probably going through the roster and so should you.

    #551530 Reply
    redcurleysue

    This is called the DATING GAME where anything can happen.

    I would not worry about it at all. It is nice that you did like him but there are soooooo many other men to get to know and like potentially.

    If he does not call you then he was not the man for you….do not concern yourself…do not call or text him….

    If he is interested he will call….meanwhile keep fishing for the “BIG ONE”.

    #551562 Reply
    Rachel

    Yup – next one!

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