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Kim.
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Virgo
How long do you wait to hear from a guy after you give him your number?
The story: A year and a half ago I went to this restaurant for my little sister’s graduation party. Our waiter was super cute and eventually I worked up the courage to ask him his name – throughout the meal I had noticed him stealing glances at our table – he told me and then he asked me mine and where I was from, because he said that I looked familiar. Immediately it made sense why he was staring, he must’ve thought I was someone he knew.
During that year my family and I frequented that place and we always managed to be there when that waiter was working. And I’d notice him staring at me, at first I thought I was imagining it. Because he’s just way too hot and I’m not that lucky. But then other people started to notice and make comments about it. This went on for awhile and I used to think at some point he’s gotta make a move. He never did. So this last July we were there and I had a few drinks and was determined to give him my number. I couldn’t take the staring contests anymore. I told our current waitress my plan, she thought it was adorable and planned to help me. She told me she’d point me out to him and that he’d most likely do a “fly-by” of my table. When he did I smiled at him and said hi, when she came back around she asked me if I gave him my number and I told her no. That I was too nervous. She offered to give it to him and that I would hear from him later that night after he got off work.
I never did. Since then I’ve been in there multiple times and with family and a few dates, and as luck would have it, he’s been there every time that I have. And each one of those times that man would stare. It was frustrating. So two weeks ago, I tried again. I knocked back a few and before I left I walked right up to him and said hi. He looked surprised and said hi back and commented on how I hadn’t been in in a while. He asked me how I was and what I’ve been up to. I told him I was good, somehow me giving him my number before came up – I didn’t bring it up – I think he said that he meant to call me but he lost it. And that he felt weird coming up to me and telling that. As he was saying all this, pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and a pen and told me to write it down again and leave it on the ledge next to the computer where he was working – he was inching away from me because he had to go wait on a table – and I asked him “what if you lose it again?” He said he wouldn’t.
It’ll be two weeks tomorrow and I still haven’t heard from him. I don’t know if he lost it again, if I was so tipsy that I wrote my number down wrong or what. And its seriously bumming me out, cause if he didn’t want it he wouldn’t have given paper and a pen. I don’t know if I should still hold out hope or just drop it.
redcurleysue
Hi Virgo,
I am sorry this happened to you – it stings.
Here is what I think – he has a girlfriend but finds you very attractive and cannot help but stare. He asked for your number and did not want you to feel bad by telling you he has a girlfriend.
Of course it could be other reasons but I feel this may be it. I would not hold out hope for a phone call.
Vanessa
He’s not interested! You already took on the male role by giving him your number (twice) without him asking for it and he hasn’t called. Leave it alone. You know a man is interested through his actions to pursue you. You made it very easy for him so it’s not that he’s “shy.”
Virgo
Hi redcurleysue,
If he really does have a girlfriend, he didn’t do me any favors by asking me for my number again. If anything, he gave me false hope. And that’s not a nice thing to do to someone. Now all I’m left with are those creeping thoughts of “guess I’m not good enough”. Which I KNOW are bad but sometimes you just can’t help. I never should’ve put myself out there, and just realized what I was interpreting in the staring wasn’t actual interest.
I find it weird though, that the waitress that helped me the first time didn’t mention that he could’ve had a girlfriend. The two times I had been there after the first attempt, we had that same waitress again and she remembered me. She excitedly asked me if I had heard from him that night. I sadly shook my head no and she looked as surprised and sad for me.
Virgo
‘Kay.
Thanks for your input Vanessa.
Vanessa
There’s another girl on here that posted about giving her number to a guy at his job, i believe it was CVS. Almost exact scenario as yours. She felt he followed her in the aisles to stare at her and smile. She gave her number to a manager and he said he’d give to him. He didn’t call. She wondered and posted on here. Then she went in again and finally he was working and he said he never got it. So she provided it again. And that’s when she re-posted that he still didn’t call her. Who knows why they don’t call. Maybe they just like to admire but aren’t looking to take it any further. Again, to avoid all that confusion, you let the man show interest by initiating. At least you tried! Now stop wrecking your brain and go smile at other cuties! :-)
Tallady
You are learning a valuable lesson here.
Looks do not equal interest
Getting a number does not equal a call
Men who are interested enough will step up and do this so you don’t have toI doubt he has a girlfriend, but I doubt he was ever very interested. Next time, only be vulnerable once, that was sweet. But you basically chased him when you walked up to him and engaged on the number the second time. Not that you should not have given it to him, but the whole, will you lose it again? And even approaching him.
I don’t think you are missing out at much. But you don’t need to chase either and your interaction feels chasey…..
Virgo
I don’t know how it could be called “chasey” when all I did was go up to him and say hi.
Especially since the first time happened in July of 2014 ( I didn’t even really speak to him) and the second time happened in February of 2015. That’s a lot of time that has passed, and in that time I’ve been in there quite a few times with family, friends, and dates. I didn’t bring up the first time to him this last time. He did. He took out the paper and the pen. He told me to write it down. And yes, I did ask him “what if you lose it again” cause my tipsy tongue let it slip.
Lane
Hi Virgo (I’m one too :-) )
Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do at this point but let it go and stop obsessing over this guy. Its fine to let someone know your interested but the way you did it was a bit aggressive IMO and appears as if he was looking for a quick escape. Truth is, he had plenty of opportunities to get it from you if he really wanted it. He didn’t lose it, he gave ‘the dog ate my homework excuse’ and shouldn’t have accepted it the second time if he wasn’t going to call, that’s just bad manners.
As to the staring…one guy told me “just because I like to look doesn’t mean I want to date them.” Some guys are starers (it can be unnerving at times) but its just how some are. If they’re interested in more than just looking at you they will let you know if you show them the tiniest bit of interest back such as giving them a smile and a wink—some get embarrassed when I do that because they didn’t realize they were staring that much, lol
Trust me, a woman doesn’t have to do ANYTHING to get a man’s attention. Just standing in line at a store, sitting at a restaurant counter, or walking through a building will be enough for a man to approach you and strike up a convo if he’s interested. Women really don’t have to do much but look good/pleasant (men are visual creatures), communicate and listen well, be interesting (stand out from others) and you will have a date! :-)
Nadiah
Hi Virgo,
For whatever reasons that only he knows, it remains that he didn’t call/text you. Maybe he’s going through some stuff personally? Maybe he lost his phone? But you’ll never really know. I’ve been there, girl! It sucks! It’s definitely a hurt to the ego, but you have to assume that his reasons have nothing to do with you. You put yourself out there and if he doesn’t want to pursue or can’t right now, then, just let it go for now. If later he gets in touch with you, then reassess where to go from there. Right now though, just don’t take it personally and let it go.
Aries
He isnt interested, plain and simple.
I dont think he has a girlfriend. He would’ve said it. He prob stares because he notices you are always starring and guys love attention so will smile and act a certain way but if he was interested he would let u no. Dont assume hes shy or felt weird. He knows your interested so that even made it easier for him and he still didnt bite. Just let it go.
Did u notice how he was itching to go wait a table. I think if he was seriously interested he would have taken the time to give u his number and take yours. It only takes a minute.
He could be turned off also, thinking “this girl is still chasing after me a half a year later. Doesnt she date guys, why is she always here starring at me”
Worse case scenario.
Samantha Ball
Hi guys… this is how it goes… there’s this guy who drinks in the same pub I got to with friends and family. I’ve always had a secret little crush on this guy but never had the opportunity to talk to him but always exchanged glances and smiles… however recently after six months may I add… we had a brief chat and he asked if he could take me out for a meal, I said I’d like that and said we shud exchange numbers so I gave him my number… this was four days ago admittedly I had had a few and wasn’t sure if I’d given him the right number but I’ve heard nothing.. I’ve been in the pub and he was there we said hello to each other but that was it… he was with friends and I didn’t want to appear desperate or intrude
Barbara
Do NOTHING other than smile and make small talk if he approaches you. Let him do the asking. If he doesn’t, he’s either involved with someone else or not that interested or a giant chicken. None of which you want.
Anne ohio
Four days is not long. He may have things he needs to wrap up before he is available. Assume he likes you, assume he has a life, assume he is not thinking of you every moment the way you are.
Which is a good thing. You don’t want a man that is an eager puppy, but you want a man who is a gentleman.
Don’t count on anything. Be genuinely surprised if you hear from him.. not because you are so worried he won’t call, but because you are so busy and so fulfilled in your life that you kinda forgot about it.
Don’t be too eager and don’t let it fill your mind too much. Carry on with life. Let us know
Kim
I wouldn’t wait longer than a week after I’ve given a guy my number. People make time for who they want to make time for. He’s obviously not that interested in you. He may not have a girlfriend, but just may not be so keen as you are. It’s nothing you’ve done sweetheart. Do not contact him. If he wants to contact you let him do the chasing. Nothing is worse than a needy woman chasing a man who is not really interested. I learned that the hard way.
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