This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Maria 2 months, 1 week ago.
September 13, 2017 at 9:16 pm #653934
I’m from America and currently living in Asia where I’ve been unable to seek professional help.. I’ve been with my fiancé for two and a half years now and we’re getting married in about four months. I lost my virginity to him and have since struggled with an ever decreasing sex drive. I find sex somewhat painful, time consuming, and ultimately not pleasurable. I know this is an important part of relationships, especially if you plan to be with the person for the rest of your life. For a while I thought I could just fake enjoyment and desire, but as time goes by I’m finding it harder and harder to do and he’s realized that something is wrong. We tried not having sex for a couple weeks and instead just kissing and cuddling, which I love, but it hasn’t changed my feelings toward making love. I don’t know what to do to heighten my feeling of sexual attraction and I’m afraid that if I don’t figure it out soon we won’t get married. Please, any advice would be appreciated.September 13, 2017 at 9:32 pm #653937
Lube, lots of it & masturbation…September 13, 2017 at 9:39 pm #653939
You might want to check your hormones. Sometimes low thyroid or low progesterone cause lack of sex drive.September 13, 2017 at 11:26 pm #653967
First get a medical appointment. Have you usually had a normal sex drive? Did you masturbate growing up? It could be physical but it could be psychological. So also see a therapist. If you were in the US they have sex therapists that could work with you. Try watching romance movies with sex scenes, I would say porn but most of it is designed for men and would not at all help women like you. Do you like foreplay? You could try just doing oral for a while. Experiment and try to find something you like. And, as I said, get professional help.September 14, 2017 at 4:23 am #653982
I found this on the internet and encourage you to see a doctor.
“Women with HSD are not afraid of sexual intimacy, but they suffer from a deficiency, or absence, of sexual desire. There is no single cause. It can be triggered by biomedical factors such as disease, drugs (antidepressants, the Pill, antihypertensives, even antihistamines are common causes), or hormonal deficiencies (reduced testosterone in particular), as well as psychological factors such as life events, sexual biography or your mood.
Factors such as partner satisfaction, communication and the duration of the relationship can also contribute, so the kind of sexual partners you have chosen in the past will have played a part.
In the early days of a new relationship at least, the desire for frequent sex ought to be a primal force. However, many women who have low libidos consciously — or subconsciously — choose men who they hope won’t make too many sexual demands on them. Who you pick at the beginning will make a difference. In the absence of sexual chemistry, choosing a partner who is not particularly sexually driven, or sexually experienced, guarantees a less sexually satisfying experience.”September 14, 2017 at 5:40 am #653990
Yes get checked by a doctor. Look at hormone levels, blood count, thyriod etc. Then any medications you’re on. Then diet and lifestyle. Do you have energy for other things?
Also look at what turns you on. Do you know? Do you enjoy masturbation? Do you ever have sexual thoughts? (You don’t need to answer us, just think about it and explore it).September 14, 2017 at 9:31 pm #654165
Thank you all for your advice. I’ll make an appointment to see a doctor as soon as I get home and try your other suggestions in the meantime.