This topic contains 21 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Dawn 3 months, 1 week ago.
March 12, 2018 at 10:07 am #692612
He dumped me for a her a 15 months ago now.
I’ve bedn so good at not looking at his or hers Facebook.
Today I was having a bad day with my depression and I looked and there was her scan picture.
6 months pregnant ..
All I’ve ever wanted was a baby but I don’t think I can conceive.
I loved him and he ditched me for her and now she’s pregnant.
I honestly feel like someone has just punched me in the stomach.
It’s not fair.
Why couldn’t he have loved me and us had a baby.
I would love to have a baby,I’m 32 now so doubt it’s going to happen.
Clearly happened so easy for her.
I hate myself for being such a failure and not worth anything
I won’t get over this will i?
March 12, 2018 at 10:20 am #692614
If you are still this depressed after 15 months, you need to get into therapy asap. Depression is a serious condition that needs to treated. Yes it can be hard to see your ex moved on and now will have a child. But there must have been reason you two split up. And there is no reason why you cant find a new partner and maybe a child. But that wont happen if you get stuck in this depression. Take careMarch 12, 2018 at 10:24 am #692615
He isn’t the reason for my depression.
I had it long before I met him.
I haven’t really thought about him for a few months when today I was really upset about my life and decided to look.
Almost like I wanted to see something to be upset about.March 12, 2018 at 10:25 am #692616
He never told me why he dumped me.
I thought it was going well,than he met her and ended it.
Well he didn’t end it he just stopped calling.March 12, 2018 at 10:39 am #692619
Wow that must have really hurt! How long were you together?
What makes you think you can’t have kids?March 12, 2018 at 10:55 am #692622
If you have had bouts of depression for a long time then why not see a doctor? Depression can be managed and you can feel better.
Yes, I think your mood may have been such that you looked to see if you could find a reason. That mood will not help you.
He is not the only man in the world…there are three billion of them….you can find another that will probably be even better.
Depression robs you of normal hope…I cannot hope for you….please get help and hope for yourself. Take care. I am thinking of you.March 12, 2018 at 11:16 am #692626
Everything I ever want I never Get.
I wanted him have wanted previous people and they ended it with me so I know I want a baby and I won’t have one.
All of my friends mums are alive,surprise surprise mine died when I was 13.
Everything in my life has always been horrible.
I will never ever be with someone who wants me yet they go on to be with other people and get what they want.
It’s pointlessMarch 12, 2018 at 11:17 am #692627
We were only together 3 months but I fell for him.
He made me forget my sadness and I was happier than I’ve ever ever been in my life.March 12, 2018 at 11:38 am #692628
Hi Kelli-this is awful and you have my sympathy/empathy. I do think ,though that you need professional therapy/doctors to manage your depression and feelings of low self-worth. You can’t rely on a man or others to make you happy. A relationship should add to yoyr happiness-not create it.
Until you resolve your childhood trauma etc. you will not be emotionally healthly and won’t attract good partners.
I am sure there are places to help-start with your doctor. Good Luck=you can turn your life around!March 12, 2018 at 1:03 pm #692655
Oh Kelli, I’m so sorry.
Do you know, the 1st 30 years of my life were perfect. At 30, I had parents that loved me, good friends, a good education, a growing career, I’d found the man I would marry and bought a lovely house with him. Perfect!
Since then, everything’s fallen apart! My mother died, my father got dementia and I had to sacrifice having kids to care for him, several friends have died, I lost my job and now have a stressful one and my marriage is over. Nightmare!
If my life can change so dramatically in just over 10 years, so can yours. But for the better!!
A close friend has struggled with depression for years. In her early 30s she was suicidal. It was awful. She managed to turn it around and is now very happy. She changed jobs, moved house, joined the gym and made new friends. Funnily enough, when she got happier and more confident, she met a lovely man who adores her!
Fix you first. Get yourself happy. I really believe it’s very hard for someone else to love you when you don’t even love yourself. So start loving yourself! What changes can you make to your life to make it happier? Start there and the rest will follow.
I also think seeing a therapist would help. CBT really has helped me fight off depression in the past.March 12, 2018 at 1:04 pm #692656
Also, friends of mine are still having kids in their 40s so there’s plenty of time for you. Don’t give up just yet!March 12, 2018 at 1:35 pm #692670
Aw kelli you sound like you are having a rough time but its always darkest before dawn so try and see this turn of events as a positive. You dont have a mum but do you have people around you that are family or close friends ? It would be a good idea to confide in them and let out some of those feelings that you have about not yet having a family. I had a baby at 39 so you still got time. My friend just had one at 44 so really dont give up yet. As the others have said dont let the depression take over and ruin your life. This can be solved with exercise, therapy and medical help. Make life changes a small step at a time, catch up with friends you havent seen for a while, join a gym, a college class, focus on new things and positives in life. Make an effort to be kind and good to yourself. Dont give up on love. Love comes only when your happy within yourself, when you dont feel good you wont attract good people or situations. A man cant make you feel whole or happy its not his job, you have to do your own work and feather your own nest. If you feel good and confident you will attract better people and things will get brighter for you overall. You will get lots of love and support on this forum so keep checking in and everyone will love to hear about your positive progress. xMarch 12, 2018 at 2:07 pm #692673
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. It sounds as though this man is only a very small part of your problem and you have a lot of issues that you need to deal with professionally. If you can afford professional help or for whatever reason you can’t access it I suggest you try some self help; Running really helped with my depression and anxiety, perhaps you don’t like running but even a long walk can help. Read self help articles online or buy some books if you can. Take a hobby, something you enjoy doing.
You have a very negative outlook on life and things won’t change around you unless you change from within.
This guy treated you very poorly, please concentrate on yourself and improving your mental space. I promise once you do you will start attracting more positive experiences and men who treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
As for having a baby i’m not sure why you think your age will prevent you from having a baby unless you have a health problem?March 12, 2018 at 2:59 pm #692678
I’m sorry about your troubles. When you lose a parent early, it’s very hard to have the same self esteem as a child with parents. You literally have to work at it every day and build your self esteem on a daily basis. Google articles on how to stop being a victim. Or 42 ways of improving yourself. Just go down that list and do those things and you wil feel your self esteem gradually improving. It’s not going to grow by itself.March 12, 2018 at 3:24 pm #692682
How you feel right now is not good for anyone and needs to be looked after. Truly, please see a doctor.
It is not as bleak as you see it right now.
All those awful feelings against yourself are lies…they continue to color your world….you can stop the painful lies by seeing a doctor and letting him help you.
Please.March 12, 2018 at 5:26 pm #692717
At three months you were just getting to know each other and he decided you weren’t a match. It would have been decent to just tell you but some guys these days dont’ have manners. If you got so attached that fast and all this time later you are upset by her pregnancy, that’s the real issue. You still have your life to live and your prince is out there. Best that he went. Please stop looking at any social media having to do with them and deal with your depression so you can have the life you deserve.March 13, 2018 at 4:36 am #692788
I feel a bit better today.
I’ve got a lot of problems which I won’t bore you with but they can’t be resolved unfortunately.
Up until yesterday when I was feeling so low I hadn’t looked at his profile or thought of him for months.
It was like I was looking for a reason to be sad.
I have had cbt before and it helped but as soon as someone hurts me or something bad happens I’m back to square one.
I’m not sure if I can put myself out there again to meet someone only for it to end like this.March 13, 2018 at 3:25 pm #692846
I would not feel bad because some other gal ended up pregnant and not married. Wouldn’t you want him to marry you first before starting a family?
He’s not that great of a catch if he goes around impregnating without being married, buying a house, etc.
You should hope for more for yourself than to get knocked up by a guy who has not given you a diamond engagement ring, a wedding, a home, and a family.
Aim higher.March 13, 2018 at 6:57 pm #692906
This will actually be his 3rd child by the 3rd woman.March 13, 2018 at 7:10 pm #692908
Sounds like a real winner.
You could do MUCH better!March 14, 2018 at 12:44 pm #693010
Kelli I dont know what issues you could possibly have that you cannot change but so many people in this life go through the most traumatic things and manage to turn their lives around, I believe you can too.
My husband was abused by his parents before he was orphaned at 12 and then bounced around foster homes until he was left to fend for himself. This is a man who is now a highly paid lawyer and has achieved so much in his adult life Including becoming a loving father and husband because he decided he was not going to be defined by his past.March 14, 2018 at 10:23 pm #693092
And you’re upset because you’re not the third woman he’s impregnated out of wedlock?? Guy isn’t gonna have much left in his pocket after all that child support, for years to come.
Please get counseling and learn to love yourself before you go out dating again!! You deserve better. I’m sad to read you are so down on yourself and your life. Hope things get better for you soon.